We join with you in lifting this relationship before the Father and we thank you for seeking to align every step with His divine plan, for that is the only foundation that will stand. We hear your heart for this man, for your sons, and for a future together that honors God, and we bring all of it before the throne of grace together in Jesus' name.
We are encouraged that you desire a love that honors God above all else and that you surrender your hearts and your future into His hands. Scripture reminds us to Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and donāt lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. We also cling to the promise that He makes everything beautiful in its time Ecclesiastes 3:11, and that For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. When we pray for a relationship we must always pray first that God's will be done, even above our own desires, for This is the boldness which we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us 1 John 5:14.
We want to speak gently and truthfully about the matter of his former marriage. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman before God, and Jesus taught What therefore God has joined together, donāt let man tear apart Matthew 19:6. Scripture treats divorce with great seriousness, and it teaches that marriage is binding while both spouses live Romans 7:2-3 and that divorce is permitted only for serious biblical cause such as sexual immorality Matthew 19:9, and even then with much sorrow. We do not know the full circumstances of his divorce, but we encourage you both to seek wise, biblical counsel from a pastor to be sure that the past marriage has been dealt with before the Lord with repentance, forgiveness, and healing, and that any legal divorce is fully complete before pursuing a new marriage. We pray not simply that he would let go of the past, but that God would heal his heart, for He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3, and help him to forgive as Christ forgave us Colossians 3:13, and to walk in the newness of Donāt remember the former things, and donāt consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing Isaiah 43:18-19, but only in a way that is holy and honest before God. A new love cannot be built on an unhealed wound.
We also pray for your courtship with a view toward holy marriage. We believe that a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, for Donāt be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. We encourage you to discern together whether you are both truly born again followers of Christ, and whether you share the same faith, values, and calling. We strongly endorse marriage as God's design, and we pray that if it is His will, this courtship would lead to a Christ centered marriage that reflects Christ and the church Ephesians 5:25. Until that marriage covenant is made, we urge you both to remain sexually pure, for Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. Even in a long distance courtship, fornication in heart, mind, or body dishonors the Lord and harms the foundation of trust you are trying to build. We pray for a love that is patient, self controlled, and pure 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
We lift up your desire for him to grow as a man who loves with care and who provides as God calls a husband to do. Scripture calls a husband to love his wife even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it Ephesians 5:25 and to provide for his own household 1 Timothy 5:8. We pray that God would stir in him not a feeling that can be manipulated by our prayers, but a genuine, sacrificial, Christlike love that chooses commitment freely before God. We cannot pray to control another person's will, but we can pray that he will seek wisdom, for If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5, and that he will have clarity to follow the Lord's leading.
We also bring before the Lord the practical steps of a fiancee visa and the hope of building a home in the United States. We pray that God would guide every legal and practical decision, for A manās heart plans his course, but Yahweh directs his steps Proverbs 16:9 and I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you Psalm 32:8. We ask that if this move and this marriage are of the Lord, He would open the right doors and close the wrong ones, and if not, that He would give you both peace to wait or to step away.
And we pray with special care for your sons. Children are a heritage of Yahweh Psalm 127:3, and any man who would become a husband must also be prepared to love and shepherd children with gentleness and godliness as fathers are called to nurture children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Ephesians 6:4. We pray that God would prepare all of your hearts for unity, and that any blending of a family would be done with prayer, patience, and pastoral guidance, so that your home would be built on Christ.
We pray together now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and we lift this dear sister, this man, and her sons to You. Lord, we ask that Your perfect will be done in this relationship above all else. Grant wisdom and clarity to this man, speak to his mind and heart, heal the wounds of his past marriage, and help him to walk in forgiveness and wholeness before You. If this relationship is from You, deepen in him a genuine, pure, and committed love, a heart to provide and to lead as a godly husband, and give him courage to pursue marriage in a way that honors You. If it is not Your will, give both of them grace to see it and to surrender. Keep them sexually pure and holy as they wait upon You. Guide every step regarding the visa and the future home, remove obstacles that are not of You and establish the path that You have ordained. Prepare the hearts of her sons and draw them together in Your love, that a future household would be united in Christ. Order their steps Lord, direct their paths, and let Your grace bind them together only as You see fit. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, through whom we have access to the Father and in whom we find salvation, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. Amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek Him daily in prayer and in the Word, to pursue accountability and counsel from mature believers, and to trust that whether His answer is to lead you into marriage or to lead you in a different direction, He works all things together for good for those who love Him Romans 8:28. Wait upon the Lord, keep your heart pure, and let your hope rest not in a proposal or a visa, but in Christ Himself.
