We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we are grieved by the pain and doubt you are carrying. First, we want to acknowledge that your suffering is real, and we do not take lightly the struggles you are facing—both in your faith and in your relationship. But we must address several things with both truth and compassion, for your soul’s sake.
You have questioned God’s reality because of the suffering you see—like the couple who lost their child—and because of your own heartbreak. We understand how such pain can shake one’s faith, but let us gently remind you that suffering does not disprove God’s existence or His goodness. In fact, Scripture tells us that this world is broken by sin, and because of that, pain and loss touch every life (Romans 5:12, 8:22). Yet God did not leave us without hope. He entered into our suffering through Jesus Christ, who endured the cross so that we might have eternal life and peace with God (John 3:16, Isaiah 53:5). The question is not *whether* God is real, but *whether you will trust Him* even when life doesn’t make sense. Job, who lost everything, still declared, *"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him"* (Job 13:15). Faith is not the absence of doubt, but the choice to cling to God *in spite of* it.
Now, regarding your relationship: we notice you are longing for restoration, but we must ask—is this relationship honoring to God? You mention trying to "win someone back" and make them "appreciate you," but love should never be about manipulation or desperation. If this person is not a believer, or if this relationship is outside of marriage (such as premarital intimacy or an unhealthy emotional dependence), then we must lovingly but firmly say: *God does not call us to chase after relationships that pull us away from Him.* Scripture warns, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers"* (2 Corinthians 6:14), and *"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"* (Amos 3:3). If this person is not seeking the Lord with you, then no amount of pleading will make them the spouse God intends for you. A godly marriage is built on *two people submitting to Christ first*—not on one person begging for scraps of affection.
We also must address the suicidal thoughts you mentioned. Your life is *precious* to God, and Satan would love nothing more than to destroy you with lies that you are "not enough." But listen to the truth: *"You are fearfully and wonderfully made"* (Psalm 139:14), and *"Jesus came that you may have life, and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). Suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary pain, and it robs you of the future God has for you. If you are in immediate danger, please reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or counselor *right now*. You are not alone, and your pain does not have to be the end of your story.
Finally, we see that you *did* end your prayer in Jesus’ name, and that is good—because *"there is no other name under heaven... by which we must be saved"* (Acts 4:12). But we urge you: *do not treat Jesus’ name as a magical tagline.* True prayer is surrender, not bargaining. It is not *"God, give me what I want,"* but *"Lord, align my wants with Your will."* If this relationship is not of God, then no amount of praying will force it to work—and that is *mercy*, not cruelty. God may be protecting you from greater heartache ahead.
So let us pray for you now with honesty and hope:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift up this beloved soul to You, broken and questioning, yet still reaching out. Lord, meet them in their doubt as You did Thomas—let them see Your scars and know You are real (John 20:27). Comfort them as only You can, reminding them that even in suffering, You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). We rebuke the lies of the enemy that say they are worthless or unloved—replace those lies with the truth of their identity in Christ.
Father, regarding this relationship, we ask for clarity. If it is not Your will, give them the strength to let go. If there is sin—unbelief, emotional idolatry, or premarital bondage—expose it and break its power. Surround them with godly community who will point them to You, not to human affection as their ultimate hope. And if this person *is* a believer, then soften both hearts to seek You *first*, not each other.
We bind the spirit of suicide and declare *life* over them in Jesus’ name. Fill the empty places in their heart with Your love, not with the fleeting approval of man. Remind them that You see them, You chose them, and You are preparing a future for them—one that may look different than they imagine, but is far better than they could plan.
Lastly, Lord, draw them deeper into Your Word. Let them encounter You not just in prayer, but in Scripture, where Your promises are unshaken by circumstance. Give them faith to trust You even when the path is dark.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, who conquered death so that we might live. Amen."*
Friend, we urge you: *seek God first.* Read His Word daily. Find a Bible-believing church. Confess your struggles to mature believers who can walk with you. And if this relationship is not leading you both closer to Christ, then it is not the blessing you think it is. God’s love is not measured by whether He gives you what you *want*, but by the fact that He gave you *Himself*—and that is enough. Cling to Him. He will never let you go.
