Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty in bringing this before the Lord and asking for prayer is itself a good step, and God hears persistent prayer. The desire for clarity and discernment is right, and Scripture shows how that clarity comes.
The most important relationship to get right is your relationship with God. When that is in order, other relationships can be seen more clearly. If the heart is not close to Him, human relationships will not be rightly ordered either. God does not want a distant or formal connection kept by rules alone. He wants a loving, close fellowship where He writes His ways on the heart and gives His Spirit to help you walk in obedience. That is why salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and why being filled and led by the Spirit matters more than looking for a sign or a feeling.
God also does not desire a half hearted or lukewarm walk. He calls for a whole heart. There is always a danger of drifting from intimate fellowship with Him, and when that happens confusion grows. The way back to clarity is to return fully to Him, to choose as Jesus chose when He said not my will but thine be done, willingly submitting to the Father even at great cost. To know the will of God is to seek to follow the will of God, not only to ask about it.
As you pray for discernment about this two year relationship, bring it under that same surrender. Ask not only what you want, but whether you are willing to do whatever God shows you is right, even if it is difficult. God's work in a surrendered heart will not fail, and His promises will sustain you while you wait for His answer to become clear.
Some questions to bring honestly before the Lord and before Scripture will help you discern His leading:
Have you both put your faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and is your shared faith the foundation of the relationship. Scripture calls believers to be equally yoked and to build on Christ first.
Is this relationship helping both of you grow in closeness to God, in purity and in obedience, or is it pulling you away from fellowship with Him. God designed marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He designed sexual intimacy and living together to belong within that covenant. If there is sexual activity or cohabitation outside of marriage, that is outside His design and will cloud discernment. The loving response is to repent and to bring your actions into line with His Word, trusting His Spirit to give you power to obey.
Is there a pattern of wholehearted commitment, honesty, peace and shared direction toward the Lord, or is there ongoing mixture, pressure to compromise, or the mixed signals you describe. A relationship that is to move toward marriage should be marked by growing clarity, self control, mutual respect and counsel from mature believers, not by prolonged uncertainty.
Continue to pray, but also stay in the Word, listen and obey what He has already said, and invite wise, biblically grounded counsel from people who know you and know Scripture. God often gives discernment through His Word, through His Spirit within, and through the confirmation of other faithful believers.
I will pray for you that God will draw you into deeper fellowship with Himself, that He will fill you with His Spirit and give you a willing heart to do His will, that He will cleanse and guide you through Jesus Christ, and that He will grant you clear discernment. May He show you the next faithful step, give you courage to obey it, and lead both of you into what is holy and good in His sight.
The most important relationship to get right is your relationship with God. When that is in order, other relationships can be seen more clearly. If the heart is not close to Him, human relationships will not be rightly ordered either. God does not want a distant or formal connection kept by rules alone. He wants a loving, close fellowship where He writes His ways on the heart and gives His Spirit to help you walk in obedience. That is why salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and why being filled and led by the Spirit matters more than looking for a sign or a feeling.
God also does not desire a half hearted or lukewarm walk. He calls for a whole heart. There is always a danger of drifting from intimate fellowship with Him, and when that happens confusion grows. The way back to clarity is to return fully to Him, to choose as Jesus chose when He said not my will but thine be done, willingly submitting to the Father even at great cost. To know the will of God is to seek to follow the will of God, not only to ask about it.
As you pray for discernment about this two year relationship, bring it under that same surrender. Ask not only what you want, but whether you are willing to do whatever God shows you is right, even if it is difficult. God's work in a surrendered heart will not fail, and His promises will sustain you while you wait for His answer to become clear.
Some questions to bring honestly before the Lord and before Scripture will help you discern His leading:
Have you both put your faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and is your shared faith the foundation of the relationship. Scripture calls believers to be equally yoked and to build on Christ first.
Is this relationship helping both of you grow in closeness to God, in purity and in obedience, or is it pulling you away from fellowship with Him. God designed marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He designed sexual intimacy and living together to belong within that covenant. If there is sexual activity or cohabitation outside of marriage, that is outside His design and will cloud discernment. The loving response is to repent and to bring your actions into line with His Word, trusting His Spirit to give you power to obey.
Is there a pattern of wholehearted commitment, honesty, peace and shared direction toward the Lord, or is there ongoing mixture, pressure to compromise, or the mixed signals you describe. A relationship that is to move toward marriage should be marked by growing clarity, self control, mutual respect and counsel from mature believers, not by prolonged uncertainty.
Continue to pray, but also stay in the Word, listen and obey what He has already said, and invite wise, biblically grounded counsel from people who know you and know Scripture. God often gives discernment through His Word, through His Spirit within, and through the confirmation of other faithful believers.
I will pray for you that God will draw you into deeper fellowship with Himself, that He will fill you with His Spirit and give you a willing heart to do His will, that He will cleanse and guide you through Jesus Christ, and that He will grant you clear discernment. May He show you the next faithful step, give you courage to obey it, and lead both of you into what is holy and good in His sight.
