Relationship Request

[Jiorkianran]

Hi all,

I need your prayers in regards to my relationship. I've been in a relationship with a woman for about two years now and I've been getting mixed signals on whether I'm supposed to stay with her or not. I've asked God plenty of times and have been persistent in prayer on whether to end the relationship or not. I'm hoping to have clarity and discernment on this matter. Please pray for me on this matter. Thank you

 

[Articles]

We have heard your request for clarity and discernment in your relationship and we join together with you in seeking God's will in Jesus' name. We understand how confusing mixed signals can be and how heavy it feels to wait on an answer after persistent prayer. We commend your persistence in prayer and we want to point you to the promise that God gives wisdom generously when we ask. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5. At the same time we are called to trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6.

We want to speak clearly about God's design for relationships because His will is revealed in His Word. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman as God created. Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh Genesis 2:24, and what therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart Matthew 19:6. A relationship between a man and a woman that is called dating should be understood as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to a fellow believer in Christ, not simply companionship. We strongly endorse marriage when it honors God rather than an ongoing relationship without that holy purpose. Scripture also teaches do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. So we encourage you to honestly ask whether this woman is a born again believer who loves Jesus and whether you are both pursuing purity and growing toward Christ together.

We also must address what God says about sexual purity and about the nature of the relationship itself. If there has been sexual intimacy outside of marriage, Scripture calls that fornication and calls us to turn from it. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18, and Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. God's will is that you should be sanctified, that you should abstain from sexual immorality 1 Thessalonians 4:3. If you are a man courting this woman, you are called to lead in purity and self control until marriage. We do not know from your request whether you are a man or a woman, but we must speak the truth in love that if you are a woman in a romantic relationship with another woman, that is not aligned with God's design and Scripture calls it sin. You shall not lie with a man as with a woman. It is an abomination Leviticus 18:22, and likewise women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature Romans 1:26-27, and such behavior is listed among unrighteousness that will not inherit the kingdom of God unless there is repentance and new life in Christ 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. God loves you and offers forgiveness and transformation to all who turn to Him.

We also noticed you mentioned asking God but did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and receive salvation. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. We encourage you to bring every prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, trusting not only for guidance in this relationship but for forgiveness of sins and eternal life through Him alone.

We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we lift this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We ask that You grant clear wisdom and discernment and that You make Your will unmistakable according to Your Word. Lord, reveal whether this courtship is moving toward a godly marriage between a man and a woman who are equally yoked in Christ, or whether it is not Your will and should end. Convict of any sexual sin and give strength to flee it and to walk in holiness. If there is any relationship that does not align with Your design, give courage to repent and to walk in obedience. Heal any confusion, remove mixed signals, and replace anxiety with peace as this one trusts You. Lead to godly counsel, to the counsel of Scripture, and to a pastor or mature believers who can speak truth. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.

We encourage you to continue seeking God not only in prayer but in His Word daily, in fasting if able, and in counsel with mature believers who know you both. Examine the fruit of this relationship. Does it draw you both closer to Christ, encourage purity, selflessness, honesty, and a desire for marriage that honors God, or does it bring compromise, confusion, pressure to sin, and distance from the Lord. Seek to obey what Scripture already makes clear while you wait for specific direction, and God will make your path straight.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for trusting us with this. Carrying uncertainty for two years while you have been persistently seeking God takes real perseverance, and we hear how much you want to honor Him with a clear and settled decision.

Living with mixed signals is wearying. Clarity often comes not in one sudden moment but as we stay steady in prayer, pay attention to patterns over time, and invite wise people who know us well to help us see what we might miss on our own.

It may help to bring one trusted pastor or mature believer into what you are carrying, someone who can listen without pressure and help you sort through what is giving you peace and what is giving you hesitation. You do not have to sort this alone.

A simple next step this week could be to write down honestly what is drawing you to stay and what is causing you to question staying, and then bring those notes before the Lord and that trusted person for an unhurried conversation. That kind of honest reflection with another set of eyes often brings discernment into focus.

We are praying for you and are glad to keep praying as God leads you forward.

Father, we lift our friend to You today. You see the faithfulness in prayer and the sincere desire to follow Your will. Give quiet clarity, wisdom for each next step, and courage to walk in the direction You show. Provide supportive, trustworthy counsel around them and guard their heart with Your peace. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your request has been laid before the Lord with care, and we thank you for your persistence in prayer, for you have done well to seek Him and not to lean upon your own understanding.

There is a wisdom you seek which God delights to give, but we must seek it as He has appointed. As surely as God's will is the axle of the universe, all things are under His regulation and have their appointed place in His plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. It is foolish for any of us to say we will go and do as we please and expect all to fall out as we desire, without asking God's consent at all. The question is not only what we feel or what signals we perceive, but what the Lord has already revealed to be His will, for while many of His purposes are hidden from us, there is a revealed will which we must not violate.

That revealed will is plain in His Word. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and apart from faith in Him we have no promise to plead. Marriage is set forth as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the intimacies of sex and of living together belong within that covenant alone. Any path that departs from this, whether by impurity outside of marriage or by a union contrary to His design, cannot be blessed by Him, and we cannot ask Him to bless what He has called us to forsake. The current of human opinion will always bear you the wrong way if you yield to it, and the Lord calls His people to keep themselves unspotted from the ways of the world.

You ask for clarity and discernment, and this is our prayer for you, that the work of the Spirit, which is the effect of the will of God, would change the human will and make you willing in the day of His power, working in you to will and to do of His own good pleasure. We do not pray that your will be done upon earth as it is in heaven by mere feeling, but that you may be taught to pray as our Lord prayed, combining the two prayers, I will, yet not as I will. Holy boldness says, Father, I will, for you are His child and your desire is prevalent with Him, yet true sonship also bends and says, Father, not as I will, but as You will. You can always have your way when your way is God's way.

Therefore we pray for you in this way, that the Lord would draw you near to Christ and establish you in His Word, that He would give you a love for holiness above happiness, and courage to do whatever His Word requires, whether it be to go forward toward marriage in purity and with godly counsel, or to turn aside and walk in singleness before Him. We pray that He would keep you from fornication and from all that pretends to be marriage while lacking its covenant, that He would grant you chastity, honesty, and self control, and that He would place you under the care of faithful pastors and mature believers who can help you weigh this relationship by Scripture and not by mixed signals alone.

Seek the Lord daily in His Word, bring this matter into the light with those who watch for your soul, and be willing to obey what He shows you, even before He shows it. He will not leave His purpose half accomplished in those who are His, and His promise may tarry but it never fails. May He give you not only to know His will, but to love it and to do it, for His glory and for your lasting good.

 

[Nyfre]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.