Silas
Beloved of All
Your desire to see your boyfriend’s heart truly turned toward the Lord and to build a marriage with God at the center is something I want to honor in prayer with you. What you’re asking for flows from a good place, a longing for him to know the Father and for a life that reflects His goodness. But I would invite you to pause and consider what God might be doing in your own heart first, because the deepest need in any relationship is that both people are fully surrendered to Him.
You’re praying for him to change, and that is right, God alone can give a heart to perceive and ears to hear. He is the One who circumcises the heart, cutting away the fleshly desires and making it alive toward Him. But while you wait and intercede, let God examine your own heart as well. He sees when a heart becomes divided, when it begins to lust after something, even a good thing like marriage, more than it hungers for Him. He is a jealous God, and He looks upon His relationship with you as a marriage. If you turn to find your fulfillment in this hoped-for life with your boyfriend before your foundation is firmly in Christ, you risk placing him in a place only God should occupy.
You cannot make your boyfriend turn to God. No amount of striving, no works, no personal sacrifice will force his hand. God is always the initiator; we respond to His grace. When I hear a prayer like yours, I often see a subtle attempt to prove to God why He should move, as if your faithfulness could earn the answer. But we do not bring our good deeds before Him and say, “Look at what I’ve done; now You must bless me.” Instead, we rest in what He has already done for us in Christ. Your response to God’s love should be a heart of praise and trust, not a bargaining chip. When you truly rest there, you can release this situation into His righteous hands.
Be mindful of trying to bring together what is unequal. The scriptures ask, what agreement has the temple of God with idols? If his heart remains set on himself or the world rather than on the Lord, entering a marriage covenant would be a painful and precarious yoke. Right now your prayer is that he will change, and God can certainly do that. But if that day has not yet come, do not attempt to force a union that Scripture warns will only bring heartache. Let God be the one to prove what is in his heart, and in yours, through testing. Often He allows circumstances to reveal our true condition, not because He doesn’t know, but so we can see it ourselves.
I encourage you to make this your primary prayer: “Father, give me a clean heart. Help me to want nothing more than I want You. And for him, do whatever is needed to turn his heart entirely to You.” Ask God for eyes to see what He is saying through this season. He is slow to anger and full of mercy; He does not delight in the death of the wicked but calls, “Turn, turn, why will you die?” He may yet grant repentance and make a new heart within him. Let that hope rest entirely on God’s timing and wisdom, not your own.
If you truly trust Him, you can trust His answer, even if it is not what you currently envision. The Lord wants to bless you beyond what you can imagine, but first He must tend to the hidden issues of the heart that you may not even recognize. Break up the fallow ground, circumcise the fleshly impulses, and seek a wholehearted love for Him alone. Then, whether this relationship is restored or not, you will be standing on solid rock, and whatever comes will be from His hand.
You’re praying for him to change, and that is right, God alone can give a heart to perceive and ears to hear. He is the One who circumcises the heart, cutting away the fleshly desires and making it alive toward Him. But while you wait and intercede, let God examine your own heart as well. He sees when a heart becomes divided, when it begins to lust after something, even a good thing like marriage, more than it hungers for Him. He is a jealous God, and He looks upon His relationship with you as a marriage. If you turn to find your fulfillment in this hoped-for life with your boyfriend before your foundation is firmly in Christ, you risk placing him in a place only God should occupy.
You cannot make your boyfriend turn to God. No amount of striving, no works, no personal sacrifice will force his hand. God is always the initiator; we respond to His grace. When I hear a prayer like yours, I often see a subtle attempt to prove to God why He should move, as if your faithfulness could earn the answer. But we do not bring our good deeds before Him and say, “Look at what I’ve done; now You must bless me.” Instead, we rest in what He has already done for us in Christ. Your response to God’s love should be a heart of praise and trust, not a bargaining chip. When you truly rest there, you can release this situation into His righteous hands.
Be mindful of trying to bring together what is unequal. The scriptures ask, what agreement has the temple of God with idols? If his heart remains set on himself or the world rather than on the Lord, entering a marriage covenant would be a painful and precarious yoke. Right now your prayer is that he will change, and God can certainly do that. But if that day has not yet come, do not attempt to force a union that Scripture warns will only bring heartache. Let God be the one to prove what is in his heart, and in yours, through testing. Often He allows circumstances to reveal our true condition, not because He doesn’t know, but so we can see it ourselves.
I encourage you to make this your primary prayer: “Father, give me a clean heart. Help me to want nothing more than I want You. And for him, do whatever is needed to turn his heart entirely to You.” Ask God for eyes to see what He is saying through this season. He is slow to anger and full of mercy; He does not delight in the death of the wicked but calls, “Turn, turn, why will you die?” He may yet grant repentance and make a new heart within him. Let that hope rest entirely on God’s timing and wisdom, not your own.
If you truly trust Him, you can trust His answer, even if it is not what you currently envision. The Lord wants to bless you beyond what you can imagine, but first He must tend to the hidden issues of the heart that you may not even recognize. Break up the fallow ground, circumcise the fleshly impulses, and seek a wholehearted love for Him alone. Then, whether this relationship is restored or not, you will be standing on solid rock, and whatever comes will be from His hand.
