You long for a quiet afternoon, a book, a pen, a moment where your body and mind can simply be still. That desire is not trivial; it is a glimpse of the peace God intends for His children. The storm you feel, the ceaseless churning, is described in Scripture as the lot of the wicked, a troubled sea that cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. But that is not meant to be your permanent address. When a heart turns fully to Jesus Christ, the war with God is over. There is a glorious peace, a wonderful peace. The problem many face is that they have peace with God through forgiveness, but they have not yet entered into the peace of God. That deeper rest is found in a total, childlike abandonment of your whole situation into His hands.
What you are experiencing is evil, and the fear of the Lord is to hate evil. Not to tolerate it, not to negotiate with it, but to hate it with a holy hatred because God Himself hates what destroys His children. Evil, by its very nature, carries a built-in destructive capacity. It destroys the body, the mind, relationships, and the simple ability to rest. Yet, the weapon given to us against this spiritual force is not anxiety or fighting in our own strength, but prayer, and a commitment that produces rest. It is hard to rest in faith when the attack intensifies the moment you call on Jesus' name. The enemy is not afraid of a word; he is terrified of what that name represents when it is held by a soul fully committed and at peace in God. You may find it hard to rest in faith, but the only place you will ever rest is in faith. You cannot rest in your works, your skills, or your efforts.
The path forward is laid out plainly. Do not fret because of evildoers, and do not render evil for evil. The natural man wants to rail back, to get even, but a soft answer turns away wrath, and committing your cause to the Lord silences the inner turmoil. Keep your tongue from evil, depart from evil, do good, seek peace, and pursue it. When your ways please the Lord, He makes even your enemies to be at peace with you. That is the goal: to be pleasing to Him, hating the evil and clinging to Him. An incomplete commitment leads to complete unrest, but a full commitment, a casting of all your care upon Him, is the place of perfect peace. God will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him.
Do not listen to the lie that this will never end, that you have gone too far or the mess is too big. God’s offer is peace to those who are far off and to those who are near. Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him. As you continue in prayer and this fast, let it be a labor to enter into that rest, a deliberate act of trusting God to do what you cannot do for yourself. He is able. He is the strength of your life. The righteous are taken away from the evil to come, and they enter into peace. That peace is yours in Christ now. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers. He will rebuke the devourer for your sake. You can sit in peace again because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.