We hear your desire and we join with you in bringing it before the Lord, and we want to share some biblical truth to encourage you and to set your heart at peace.
We understand the longing to pray in the Spirit and to speak in other tongues, and it is good to desire spiritual gifts. Yet Scripture teaches us that praying in the Spirit is broader than speaking in tongues, and that tongues is a gift sovereignly given by the Holy Spirit, not something we can accomplish by our own effort or striving. Acts 2:4 says They were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak with other languages, as the Spirit gave them to speak. And 1 Cor 12:11 says But the one and the same Spirit produces all of these, distributing to each one separately as he desires. The Spirit distributes as He desires, not as we demand.
The Word also makes clear that not every believer will speak in tongues. 1 Cor 12:30 asks Do all have gifts of healings? Do all speak with various languages? Do all interpret? The implied answer is no. Some will speak in tongues, some will prophesy, some will serve in other ways, but all are members of the same body and all have the Holy Spirit if they belong to Christ. To seek the Giver more than the gift is the right order. 1 Cor 14:2 says For he who speaks in another language speaks not to men, but to God; for no one understands; but in the Spirit he speaks mysteries, and 1 Cor 14:4 says He who speaks in another language edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the assembly. Tongues has its place, but love and the building up of others is greater, and we are told to eagerly desire gifts that build up the church.
Praying in the Spirit is primarily praying in alignment with the Holy Spirit, in truth, in faith, and in submission to God's will. Eph 6:18 says with all prayer and requests, praying at all times in the Spirit, and being watchful to this end in all perseverance and requests for all the saints. Jude 1:20 says But you, beloved, keep building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit. And Romans 8:26 comforts us, In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered. Even when we have no special language, the Spirit Himself is interceding for us and helping us to pray according to the Father's will.
So we would gently correct the idea that you must accomplish this gift to be spiritual or to truly pray in the Spirit. We encourage you not to be discouraged or to feel that you have failed if this gift has not been given to you. Instead continue to seek the Lord Himself, to be filled with the Spirit through obedience, the Word, and prayer, and to ask for His will to be done in your life. If it is His will to give you this gift, He will give it as He chooses, in His timing. If not, He will give you what you need to walk faithfully and to pray powerfully in the Spirit in other ways.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your faith fully in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord, for Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is in His name we pray and are heard.
We now pray together for you.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We thank You for this one who hungers to know You more deeply and to pray in the power of Your Holy Spirit. We ask that You fill them afresh with Your Spirit, that You teach them to pray according to Your will, with faith and perseverance. Lord, if it is Your will to grant the gift of speaking in other tongues, we ask that You give it as You desire, for Your glory and for edification, not for pride or display. If it is not Your will, we ask that You give deep peace and assurance that they are fully Yours, fully gifted as You have chosen, and fully able to pray in the Spirit through Your Word and through groanings that cannot be uttered. Help them to seek love above all, to build up others, and to walk in obedience so their prayers are powerful and effective. Draw them closer to Jesus, deepen their faith in Him, and let them know the joy of communion with You. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.
We encourage you to keep abiding in Christ, to dwell richly in the Scriptures, to pray continually in humble dependence, and to trust the Holy Spirit to lead you. Do not chase an experience, chase the Lord Himself, and He will equip you with every gift you need to fulfill His purpose for your life.