Your prayer touches on the very heart of what it means to trust God. You are in a season that doesn't make sense, carrying years of anxiety, a mind that feels scattered, and a genuine desire to work and provide for your mother, yet the door remains closed. It is precisely in these dark, confusing places where real trust begins. When life is smooth and answers are clear, saying "I trust You" costs little. But when you don't understand what God is doing, when the anxiety still rises and the job doesn't come, choosing to lean on Him anyway, that trust is precious to God. It brings praise to His grace in a way that easy faith never could.
So right now, even with fear fluttering in your chest, you can echo the psalmist: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee." Not after the fear leaves, but in the middle of it. As you send another application, as you walk into an interview, as you lie awake at night, turn the fear into a simple act of commitment. Tell the Lord aloud, "I don't know how You will do it, but I am placing this in Your hands."
You mentioned that you were diagnosed with ADHD later in life, and looking back, so much finally made sense. That diagnosis can be a strange gift, it helps you understand your limitations, but those limitations don't hinder God. He knows your frame; He remembers you are dust. He isn't looking for a bold, perfectly confident, anxiety-free vessel. He often works through the quiet and the trembling, so that when the answer comes, it is unmistakably His doing. Your quiet nature and anxious heart are not liabilities in His hands. When David faced Goliath, he was only a youth with a sling, but he declared, "I come to you in the name of the Lord." His trust wasn't in his own skill; it was in the living God. In the same way, your weakness can become the stage for His strength.
The Psalms give us a pattern: there is a mixture of trial and trust, then trust begins to overcome the trial, and finally there is triumph. Right now you may feel stuck in that first mixture, crying out for a job to pay debts and support your mother, while anxiety still clings. Keep pouring out your heart honestly. But then deliberately shift your focus. The Scripture says, "Commit your way to the Lord; trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass." That word means He will assemble it, bring it into existence. Delight yourself in Him, rest in Him, wait on Him. The result of that kind of life is peace, not necessarily instant calm feelings, but a deep-seated stability that holds even when circumstances don't change overnight.
One thing I love in the Old Testament is that when God gave laws for leprosy, an incurable condition, He made provision for the day of cleansing. He left room for Himself to work a miracle. Your situation is not too hard for Him. He can heal the roots of your anxiety while sustaining you in the waiting. He can open a job that perfectly fits the way He made you, a place where your quiet nature won't be a hindrance but a strength. So don't put your trust in the strength of your own efforts, your résumé, your interview skills, the economy. Those are like leaning on a bruised reed that will break and pierce your hand. Put your confidence in the Lord. He knows your needs, He loves you, and He will take care of you.
True rest for your soul doesn't come when the anxiety disappears or the ideal job arrives. It comes from knowing that Jesus has finished the work of your salvation and is still working in your life. If you were trusting your own ability to manage anxiety or to force open a door, you could never rest, because you would always wonder if you had done enough. But by handing everything over to Him, you can stop striving and watch what He does, knowing He has promised to work. So tonight, before you send out one more résumé, pause and say, "Lord, I turn this over to You. I'm going to trust You and see what You do."
The condition of your heart right now, hopeful, weary, anxious, is not hidden from Him. Every time you choose to trust without understanding, it brings honor to His grace. Keep trusting, keep resting, keep waiting. He will sustain you, and in His time He will lift you up. You are not alone in these prayers; many are lifting you up, asking God to provide the employment you need, to quiet your anxious heart, and to prove Himself your faithful defender. In Jesus' name, He is faithful.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
