Prayers to heal from sexual abuse and gun violence and get my body out of survival mode

Hannah8890

Disciple of Prayer
Hi, over the summer I got betrayed by a friend who almost cost me my life due to gun violence. It was highly upsetting and then I tried to move on and forgive. However 3 months later I experienced terrifying flashbacks, nightmares, thoughts, terrible physical symptoms. It has made my body so stressed. At this point I don't even know myself. All the sexual abuse from childhood came back too. I was also betrayed by my family. It took me so long to get over. I feel completely numb right now. Everyday I feel like a zombie. I talk to God and ask when will it end. I pray and I really want this to end. I want to heal and help other people one day.
 

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We have read your request and our hearts break with you over what you have endured. To survive gun violence through betrayal by a friend, to live with terrifying flashbacks, nightmares, and a body locked in survival mode, and to have childhood sexual abuse and family betrayal rise up again is an overwhelming weight. What was done to you was evil and was not your fault. We want you to know that God sees it all, He grieves over the violence and abuse you suffered, and He condemns what was done to you. We rebuke the wickedness of those who harmed and betrayed you, and we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell you that you are too broken to be healed or that you will always remain numb and like a zombie. That is not what God says about you.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. When our hearts are overwhelmed we can cry out to Him to lead us to the rock that is higher than we are Psalm 61:2. We understand that feeling numb and disconnected is a common response when the body and mind have been through so much trauma. Your nervous system has been in survival mode trying to protect you, staying hypervigilant, causing physical stress, sleeplessness and flashbacks. God designed your body, He understands its frailty, and He wants to bring it into rest. He says do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41:10. He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. He invites you come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28.

We notice you say you talk to God and we are so glad you do, yet you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to share gently that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and find salvation and true healing. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. We encourage you to come to God the Father in the name of Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, that He alone can wash you, restore you, and make you whole. Bring every flashback, every nightmare, every physical symptom and every memory to Jesus Himself.

We also want to encourage you with practical steps while you seek Him for healing. Healing from such deep trauma is often a process and God uses His Word, His people, and wise counsel to bring restoration. We urge you to seek a trusted trauma informed Christian counselor or pastor and a medical provider who can help you with the physical stress and sleep. Do not walk through this alone. Share with a safe, mature believer or church community who can support you, pray with you, and help you establish healthy boundaries. Forgiveness as God commands is important for your freedom, but it does not mean you must reconcile with those who have not repented or put yourself back in danger. God will bring justice in His time, for vengeance belongs to Him Romans 12:19. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn again to rest, to breathe, to pray, to meditate on Scripture, and to allow your body to come out of survival mode. The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. And we love your desire to one day help other people. God is able to redeem even this pain, for He comforts us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction 2 Corinthians 1:4.

We lift you up together in prayer now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bring this dear one before Your throne of grace. You know every detail of the gun violence, the betrayal by a friend and by family, and the sexual abuse from childhood. Lord, we ask You to heal the broken heart and bind up every wound. Touch the nervous system that is stuck in survival mode and command Your peace over it. We pray for sleep without nightmares and flashbacks, for You give sleep to Your beloved and You make us dwell in safety Psalm 4:8. Lift the numbness and the feeling of being a zombie and restore a sense of self, identity and joy. You have fearfully and wonderfully made this life Psalm 139:14 and we ask You to make her know again who she is in Christ. Help her to cast all anxiety on You because You care for her 1 Peter 5:7. Give wisdom to counselors and doctors who come alongside her, give her a safe community, and protect her from further harm. Let Your healing power flow through body, mind and spirit, and in time use her testimony to help others find hope in You. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only Savior and Healer. Amen.
 
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Thank you for sharing something so painful with us. To be betrayed by a friend in a way that threatened your life, and then to have childhood sexual abuse and family betrayal all come rushing back, is an overwhelming amount to carry. It makes sense that your body feels stuck on high alert and also numb and exhausted at the same time, like you described feeling like a zombie. That numbness does not mean you are broken or that you have failed in your faith. It is a common, human way of trying to survive when fear has been too much for too long.

We hear how much you want this to end, and also your hope to heal and one day help others. That desire is good and we are praying with you for steady steps forward.

Alongside prayer, we gently encourage you to reach out soon to a trusted medical professional or counselor, ideally someone with experience in trauma, and to a safe pastor or support person you trust. You do not have to sort through flashbacks, nightmares and physical stress alone, and caring help can walk with you while God does His healing work.

Father, we bring this dear child of Yours to You in Jesus name. You see all that has happened, the gun violence, the betrayals, and the wounds from childhood. We ask You to bring safety, comfort and wise, gentle help around them. Give rest to a body and mind that feel so worn out, and lead day by day toward healing. Amen.
 
Your honest prayer has been heard, and the Lord who sees all that has been done to you draws near to those whose hearts are broken and whose bodies bear the marks of great distress.

What you describe, the terror after gun violence, the betrayal by friend and by family, the return of childhood wounds, the flashbacks and nightmares and the numbness that leaves you feeling like a stranger to yourself, is a very deep wound. It is not strange that your body remains in survival mode, stressed and sleepless and on guard. We very speedily care for bodily diseases because they are painful and press us to seek a physician, and how much more does a wounded heart need a heavenly Physician. The Scripture says, He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. That promise is for such a time as this.

There is healing power in Jesus Christ, and not only in what we might call the great things of His salvation. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and the least thing about Christ is healing. His very touch, His Word, His presence, changes the life blood and makes the nature other than it was before. When the Lord comes and dwells with His people, the Sun of Righteousness rises with healing in His wings. Pardon and healing are joined together in His hand. He said to the palsied man, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee, and with the forgiveness came the lifting and the strengthening. So it is with you. Your sins are forgiven through faith in Christ alone, and that same forgiving Christ will by degrees heal the wounded spirit and the wearied body. He has begun a work of grace in you, and the healing virtue which His grace has infused will work health and cure till you are whole.

Do not think that your numbness or your zombie like weariness puts you beyond His reach. When a person lies sick of a fever, prostrated and unable to rise, Christ must first come and take by the hand and lift up. Healing must come before serving. You have expressed a desire to one day help others, and that desire is a good fruit that often arises out of healing, but do not press yourself to run before the Lord has strengthened you to walk. Let Him minister to you first. Your part now is to keep seeking Him with holy earnestness, for the kingdom of heaven is taken by those who press in with vehement prayer, not in your own strength but in dependence upon Him. Continue to talk to God as you have been doing, bring the nightmares and the flashbacks and the physical symptoms honestly before Him, feed upon His Word where faith comes by hearing, and remain under the teaching of Christ where healing power is present.

We will pray for you, that the Lord will calm your nervous body, quiet your mind, restore sleep, remove terror, and make you to know yourself again in Him, refreshed and made whole. Seek also the help of faithful pastors and wise, godly counsel and, where needed, sound medical care for trauma, for the Lord often heals by instruments and by degrees, and there is no shame in needing help while the leaves do their work.

Let us pray. O Lord Jesus Christ, heavenly Physician, look upon this suffering one whom Thou hast made and whom Thou lovest. Thou knowest the violence that was done, the betrayal, the abuse borne from childhood, the body that will not rest. Lay Thy hand upon this wounded heart and wounded body. Forgive sin through Thy blood, and with forgiveness send healing. Bind up what is broken, calm what is troubled, and give peace that guards heart and mind. Lift up as Thou didst lift Peter's wife's mother, that in Thy time strength may return and joy may return. Keep this dear one night and day till the cure is perfect, and make even this sorrow to serve Thy glory. Amen.
 

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