You speak of a fever, and I see it clearly. Your soul is burning with the heat of anxiety over money, for expenses, for buyers, for a wage. But listen to the physician of your soul. Do you love wealth and greedy gain, like a fevered man loves water? Hear the admonition of Paul, for these physicians are not dead, they live and speak. He tells you plainly: they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. You cry out for God to send buyers, to show His powerful hand by giving you money. But what if the powerful hand of God is even now in your anxiety, not to give you what you crave, but to break the fever itself? For God, who stood in no need of us, created us. If He punishes, it is the skill of a physician who, besides health, supplies you with riches. When He demands temperance, He delivers you from unseasonable expenses; when He tells you to abstain from the love of money, He makes you wealthier than any client or job could.
Examine yourself. We do everything on account of men, for their dread or their respect. You seek a good paid job, but is this to have enough for necessary uses, or is it to lay up gold and adorn your life for the eyes of others? The eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of thee. If you are in a season of lack, do not despise it as dishonorable. The weak and less honored members of the body are necessary and enjoy greater honor. Perhaps this time of needing others, of feeling the pinch of expenses, is the very means by which God is fitting you into His body, teaching you that you are not an eye that can stand alone. Your comely parts, your self-sufficiency, have no need; but this present need is a gift to drive you to the Commander who stands by, ever ready to help.
You ask for God to send buyers, but have you considered what He has already sent? He has sent you psalms to sing instead of songs of an unclean spirit. Learn to sing psalms in this barren wilderness, and you shall see the delightfulness of the employment. The disciples saw thousands and said, Whence should we have so many loaves in a wilderness? They thought only of what was lacking. You do the same. But Christ, by saying Give ye them to eat, meant to bring them to an urgent need of entreating Him. So too, your empty hands are meant to drive you not to desperation, but to entreaty. Not an entreaty that demands a wage as a seal of His power, but an entreaty that trusts the Physician’s medicine, even when it tastes bitter. Do you need episcopal letters of commendation to prove God loves you? No! The seal of His Apostleship is you. Carry the epistle in your heart. If He feeds you in the wilderness, it is for His glory. If He does not yet send the clients, it is the medicine you need to cure the soul-sickness of greedy gain. This is the easier way, needing no labors, but only your choice. Will you take it?