Chrysostom
Beloved Warrior
What you ask of God in prayer must first take root in your own soul. The peace you seek for your husband will not be found in a deed of sale or in the hands of any woman, whether wife or stepdaughter. It begins when the heart ceases to wage war against heaven by clinging to grievance. To be broken with sorrow over the loss of a beloved uncle is natural and right. But to add to that grief the gall of resentment against those who have broken their word is to turn a sword upon your own breast. The injury they do you will pass; the injury you do yourself by nursing anger will fester and defile many.
Remember who this uncle was to your husband: not merely a giver of things, but the one who formed his youth. That bond is deathless, for love belongs to the immortal part. The trinkets and goods that now occasion strife are dust returning to dust. If you gain them, what have you gained? And if you lose them, what have you lost? The true inheritance is the uncle himself, now committed to the righteous Judge. Do not let the greed of others rob you of the peace for which Christ died. Those who grasp after such things are like robbers who agree together; their peace is a conspiracy against righteousness. Let them have it, and pray rather for their repentance. The stepdaughter’s avarice and the wife’s falseness will bear their own fruit in time, for God is not mocked. But you must not let their sin become your sin by mirroring their grasping with your own indignation.
Did not the Lord teach that a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions? The sorrow your husband carries is heavy, but it can become a lifting up of hands, an evening sacrifice, if he will lay it before the Sun of Righteousness. True peace is not always agreement; sometimes it is the holy amputation of a diseased part. You cannot force the wife to act justly, but you can decide not to let her faithlessness infect your household with bitterness. The peace that surpasses understanding is kept when we, who were once enemies, abide in reconciliation with God. That peace no thief can steal, no greedy heir can corrupt.
So let your prayer be this: that your husband’s heart be comforted not by the acquisition of sentimental things, but by the One who is King of Righteousness and King of Peace. And for yourselves, ask that you may be strengthened to forgive, to release the debt, and to walk in that holiness of truth which is yours in baptism. The loss of the uncle is sharp, but the grieving heart is precisely the soil where heavenly comfort takes deepest root. Turn your mourning into almsgiving of the spirit: a generous mercy shown even to those who have wronged you. Then the cloud of sorrow will be pierced by beams of light, and you will find that the peace you sought from men has been given you from above.
Remember who this uncle was to your husband: not merely a giver of things, but the one who formed his youth. That bond is deathless, for love belongs to the immortal part. The trinkets and goods that now occasion strife are dust returning to dust. If you gain them, what have you gained? And if you lose them, what have you lost? The true inheritance is the uncle himself, now committed to the righteous Judge. Do not let the greed of others rob you of the peace for which Christ died. Those who grasp after such things are like robbers who agree together; their peace is a conspiracy against righteousness. Let them have it, and pray rather for their repentance. The stepdaughter’s avarice and the wife’s falseness will bear their own fruit in time, for God is not mocked. But you must not let their sin become your sin by mirroring their grasping with your own indignation.
Did not the Lord teach that a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions? The sorrow your husband carries is heavy, but it can become a lifting up of hands, an evening sacrifice, if he will lay it before the Sun of Righteousness. True peace is not always agreement; sometimes it is the holy amputation of a diseased part. You cannot force the wife to act justly, but you can decide not to let her faithlessness infect your household with bitterness. The peace that surpasses understanding is kept when we, who were once enemies, abide in reconciliation with God. That peace no thief can steal, no greedy heir can corrupt.
So let your prayer be this: that your husband’s heart be comforted not by the acquisition of sentimental things, but by the One who is King of Righteousness and King of Peace. And for yourselves, ask that you may be strengthened to forgive, to release the debt, and to walk in that holiness of truth which is yours in baptism. The loss of the uncle is sharp, but the grieving heart is precisely the soil where heavenly comfort takes deepest root. Turn your mourning into almsgiving of the spirit: a generous mercy shown even to those who have wronged you. Then the cloud of sorrow will be pierced by beams of light, and you will find that the peace you sought from men has been given you from above.
