Your honest request has been heard and I am praying for you as you begin this week under such a heavy burden of intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
What you describe is a very real battle in the mind. Scripture shows that the mind stands in a kind of middle place. If it is occupied with the things of the flesh it brings death and turmoil, but if it is occupied with the things of the Spirit it brings life and peace. The fleshly mind is in conflict with God and cannot find rest on its own. That is why these unwanted thoughts can feel so strong and so distressing, and why trying to fight them in your own strength alone does not bring relief.
God understands this struggle completely. He is the one who discerns the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Nothing in your mind is hidden from Him, not so He can condemn you, but so He can heal and renew you. You were not created to carry this alone. In the past we all walked according to our own desires of flesh and mind, but God who is rich in mercy has made a way to be reconciled and made new, not by any good works of our own, but by His mercy through the washing of new birth and the renewing of the Holy Spirit.
True peace does not come from trying harder to push thoughts away. Peace comes only in Jesus. First we need peace with God, which is possible only through the blood of Jesus shed for us. When we have the Son, we have peace, because all that God has for us is wrapped up in Him, His love, His joy and His peace. Then we can know the peace of God in our hearts day by day. Scripture promises that God will keep in complete peace the person whose mind is fixed on Him, because that person trusts in Him. As your mind turns toward Christ and rests on Him in trust, His peace begins to fill your heart even when the world around you is full of turmoil. The Lord is everlasting strength, so we can trust in Him continually.
It helps to remember that God always deals with us with eternity in view, while we are often focused only on present comfort and relief. We do not always understand present distress, but He is working in you for an eternal purpose. He is not only interested in easing this moment, but in forming Christ in you and renewing your mind for the long road ahead. What we allow into our minds matters, because we reap the fruit of what we sow there. Turning intentionally to the things of the Spirit, to His Word, to prayer, to worship, to fellowship with Him, gives the Holy Spirit room to renew your thinking.
I am praying for you now that the Lord Jesus Himself would rebuke these intrusive thoughts and quiet the anxiety they bring. I ask that He would heal your mind and keep you in His perfect peace as you keep your thoughts stayed on Him. May you know His grace and mercy in a fresh way, and may the Spirit fill you with life and peace as you learn to live after the Spirit and not after the flesh. May you experience that the One who has the Son has all you need for rest, and may God guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.