We hear your heart, and we stand with you in this struggle, lifting your burdens before the Lord. It is clear that you are seeking peace, boundaries, and the strength to rise above the disrespect and control that have been weighing on you. First, we want to acknowledge the pain of losing your father—grief is a heavy burden, and it’s understandable that his absence leaves a void in your life. We also recognize the frustration of living in a situation where your authority as a parent is undermined, and your wishes are disregarded. This is not how God intends for families to function, and we rebuke the spirit of division and disrespect that seeks to sow discord in your home.
Scripture tells us in Ephesians 6:1-3, *"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with a promise: ‘that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.’"* While this verse speaks to children honoring their parents, it does not give parents—especially those who may struggle with pride or control—the license to dismiss the God-given role of another parent. You are your children’s mother, and your voice matters in their lives. Your mother’s actions, though perhaps well-intentioned in her mind, are creating strife and disrespecting the order God has established in your family. We must also address the narcissistic tendencies you mentioned, for pride is a snare that exalts self above others and above God’s design. Proverbs 16:18 warns, *"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."* We pray that your mother’s heart would be softened and that she would recognize the importance of honoring your role as their mother.
You mentioned that you prayed this morning, read the Bible, and recited the Serenity Prayer, yet the situation repeated itself. We want to remind you that prayer is not a magic formula but a conversation with God, and His timing and ways are higher than ours. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, *"‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,’ says Yahweh. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.’"* God sees your heart, and He is working even when you don’t see immediate change. However, we must also encourage you to pair your prayers with action where possible. Boundaries are biblical, and you have every right to establish them in love. Jesus Himself set boundaries—He withdrew from crowds to pray, He spoke truth even when it was unpopular, and He did not allow others to dictate His actions. In Matthew 10:16, He tells us, *"Behold, I send you out as sheep among wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."*
We also want to gently address the desire for "no contact" with your mother. While we understand the exhaustion and frustration you feel, Scripture calls us to honor our parents, even when it is difficult. Ephesians 6:2-3 does not have an expiration date or an exception clause for difficult parents. However, honoring does not mean allowing abuse, disrespect, or control to continue unchecked. It may mean setting firm boundaries, having difficult conversations, or even limiting contact to protect your peace and your children’s well-being. Proverbs 22:6 says, *"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."* Your mother’s actions are teaching your children lessons—whether about respect, authority, or boundaries—and it is your responsibility to counter those lessons with godly wisdom. We encourage you to seek godly counsel, perhaps from a pastor or trusted Christian mentor, to help you navigate this situation with wisdom and grace.
We also lift up your desire to "elevate" and find your own place. This is a godly desire, for God does not intend for you to remain in a toxic or stifling environment indefinitely. Psalm 37:5-6 says, *"Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will make your righteousness go forth as the light, and your justice as the noon day sun."* Trust that God sees your struggle and has a plan for your provision and peace. Continue to seek Him for wisdom in your next steps, whether that means saving for your own home, exploring job opportunities, or even seeking support from your church community. You are not alone in this, and God is your provider.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister who is struggling under the weight of disrespect, control, and grief. Lord, You see her pain, her frustration, and her desire for peace. We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble. Father, we rebuke the spirit of division and pride that seeks to disrupt her family and undermine her authority as a mother. We pray for her mother, Lord—soften her heart, humble her spirit, and help her to see the importance of honoring Your design for family. Give our sister the wisdom to set godly boundaries, the strength to enforce them with love, and the grace to honor her mother even as she protects her own peace.
Lord, we also lift up her grief over the loss of her father. Comfort her with Your presence, remind her of the hope we have in You, and fill the void in her heart with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Father, we ask that You would open doors for her to find her own place, a space where she and her children can thrive without the constant turmoil. Provide for her needs, guide her steps, and surround her with godly community that will support and encourage her.
Above all, Lord, we pray that You would be her strength and her shield. Help her to trust in You with all her heart and not lean on her own understanding. In all her ways, may she acknowledge You, and may You direct her paths. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, for it is in His name that we have access to You, and it is through His sacrifice that we are saved. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and in His Word. Memorize verses that speak to your situation, such as Philippians 4:6-7, which says, *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."* God’s peace is available to you, even in the midst of this storm. Keep pressing into Him, and trust that He is working all things together for your good. You are not forgotten, and you are not without hope.
