We hear the weariness in your heart as you bring this yearning before the Lord, and we join with you in seeking His will together in Jesus name. You have been honest about wanting this man to come back, about praying hard and yet facing the reality that he will not be yours, and now you are asking the Lord for inner peace and for help to let go completely and to stop obsessing over the what ifs and could have beens. That desire to be released is itself a step toward healing, and we thank God that you are turning to Him for protection over your heart.
We want to gently speak truth to you about where you are. When a longing for a person begins to consume our thoughts day and night, that person can become an idol in our heart, taking the place that only God should hold. The Lord calls us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ as it is written in 2 Corinthians 10:5, and to cast all our worries on Him because He cares for us as it is written in 1 Peter 5:7. He is not distant from your pain. It is written in Psalm 34:18 that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, and in Psalm 147:3 that He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Your weary heart is seen by Him, and His purpose in allowing this separation, even when it hurts, is for your good and for His glory as it is written in Romans 8:28 that we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
We also notice that you came before the Lord as Lord God and closed with Amen, but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because there is no other way to come to the Father except through Him. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And it is written in Acts 4:12 There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God and that our prayers are heard, and it is only through believing in Jesus, that He died for our sins and rose again, that we are forgiven and made right with God. If you have not already placed your trust fully in Jesus as Lord and Savior, we encourage you to do so today, to confess your sins and believe on Him, for then you have the promise that He will never leave you and that His peace can guard your heart.
Regarding this relationship, we want to encourage you in biblical truth. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and that any romantic relationship should be entered into as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply as a partnership or dating without purpose. A godly spouse is one who will lead you closer to Christ and honor God with you in marriage. If this man was not pursuing you toward that kind of Christ centered marriage, then the Lord's taking him away is indeed for a good cause, even when it feels like loss. We also urge you to keep your heart and body pure before marriage, for sex before or outside of marriage is fornication or adultery and does not honor God, and keeping yourself pure is part of guarding your heart while you wait on the Lord's best. The Lord wants to protect your heart now so that you can be whole for the future He has for you, whether that includes a godly husband in His timing or a season of singleness devoted fully to Him. It is written in Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And in Matthew 6:33 But seek first Gods Kingdom, and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.
You mentioned you said three months ago that you would not pray for him anymore and yet you have returned to it. Do not condemn yourself for bringing your burden back to the Lord. He invites us to come again and again until His peace settles over us. That peace is promised in Philippians 4:6-7 In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. And in Isaiah 26:3 You will keep whoever's mind is steadfast in perfect peace, because he trusts in you. The way to stop obsessing is not by sheer willpower but by replacing those thoughts with trust in Christ, by filling your mind with His Word, by worship and thanksgiving, and by surrendering the what ifs to His sovereign hand.
We pray together with you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You together in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, and we lift up this dear heart that is weary from yearning and from wrestling with letting go. Lord, we thank You that You see every tear and hear every sigh, and that You are near to the brokenhearted. We ask that You would heal the broken places in this heart and bind up the wounds. Take away the obsessive thoughts and the constant replaying of what ifs and could have beens, and help her to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Fill her mind with Your truth and keep her in perfect peace as her mind stays on You. Protect her heart, guard it in Christ Jesus, and teach her to cast all her anxieties on You because You care for her. Lord, we surrender this man to You, we ask that You would remove the yearning that is not from You and that You would take him away from her thoughts for good so that she can walk in freedom. If it is not Your will for them to be together, make that clear and give her grace to release him fully into Your hands, forgiving and blessing him as You would have her do. Lead her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, to delight herself in You, and prepare her, whether for a future godly marriage to a believing husband who will love her as Christ loves the church, or for a contented singleness that honors You. Let her find her identity and completeness in Jesus alone. We ask that she would know the assurance of salvation through Jesus, that she would call upon His name and trust Him fully. Let Your will be done in her life, and let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
