Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty in sharing this struggle is a gift, and it is good that you want prayer and want God's will above your own. That desire itself is evidence that God is drawing you back into fellowship with Him.
Scripture gives a wonderful promise that even in the darkest hours, whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved and delivered. That promise was first spoken of Jerusalem and Mount Zion, but it is for all who call, including those who were once far off. The Spirit of God is now poured out on all flesh, and the promise of His filling is for Gentile believers as much as for anyone. You do not have to earn your way back by praying enough. God has made His commitment to you and He will keep it. The important part for us is to keep our commitment to Him, to turn to Him with a clean heart and ask Him to cleanse us. He has promised to sprinkle clean water upon us, to wash away filthiness and idols, to take away the stony heart and give a heart of flesh and a new spirit within. If you have been out of fellowship, simply call on Jesus, confess, and receive that cleansing again. He is faithful.
You spoke of being baffled about what God wants, sensing one direction at one time and another at another. God understands that feeling of being blind to the next step. He has promised to bring the blind by a way they did not know and to lead them in paths they have not known. He does not always show the whole road at once. He invites us to inquire of Him and He has promised to be inquired of by His people to do it for them and to answer. Keep seeking Him in prayer, and keep His commandments as He shows them to you. His word never fails, not one word of it. What He has promised, He will do, and He will bring it to pass in His perfect time. Sometimes we are impatient and want the answer now, but the Lord hastens His work in its time, and like a garden that causes seeds to spring forth, His righteousness and guidance will spring forth in due season. You can trust His timing.
Your love and concern for your mother honors God. To care for a parent is part of walking as His holy people, and He sees the years you gave to that care and the ache you feel now at the distance. God watches over His people, He pities them, and He has promised to provide and to do great things for them, so we need not be afraid. Bring this specific question before Him daily, whether to move nearer to her or to help her be nearer to you. Ask for wisdom, for open and closed doors, for counsel from Scripture and from wise believers, and for peace that confirms His leading. As you sow faithfulness and obedience, you will reap His guidance. He refines His children as gold is tried, and those who are refined learn to say, the Lord is my God, and He answers, you are my people.
Let us pray together. Father, in the name of Jesus we come to You for this dear one who wants Your will above all else. Thank You that whoever calls on Your name is delivered, and that You give a new heart and a new spirit to those who turn to You. Wash and cleanse today, and pour out Your Spirit afresh. Lead by Your hand where eyes cannot yet see the way. Give clear wisdom about this mother and the distance between them, and show what love and honor require in this season. Let Your will be done in both lives, and let Your provision of daily bread, Your protection, and Your great faithfulness be known. We trust You to keep Your word and to answer as we seek You. Amen.
Scripture gives a wonderful promise that even in the darkest hours, whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved and delivered. That promise was first spoken of Jerusalem and Mount Zion, but it is for all who call, including those who were once far off. The Spirit of God is now poured out on all flesh, and the promise of His filling is for Gentile believers as much as for anyone. You do not have to earn your way back by praying enough. God has made His commitment to you and He will keep it. The important part for us is to keep our commitment to Him, to turn to Him with a clean heart and ask Him to cleanse us. He has promised to sprinkle clean water upon us, to wash away filthiness and idols, to take away the stony heart and give a heart of flesh and a new spirit within. If you have been out of fellowship, simply call on Jesus, confess, and receive that cleansing again. He is faithful.
You spoke of being baffled about what God wants, sensing one direction at one time and another at another. God understands that feeling of being blind to the next step. He has promised to bring the blind by a way they did not know and to lead them in paths they have not known. He does not always show the whole road at once. He invites us to inquire of Him and He has promised to be inquired of by His people to do it for them and to answer. Keep seeking Him in prayer, and keep His commandments as He shows them to you. His word never fails, not one word of it. What He has promised, He will do, and He will bring it to pass in His perfect time. Sometimes we are impatient and want the answer now, but the Lord hastens His work in its time, and like a garden that causes seeds to spring forth, His righteousness and guidance will spring forth in due season. You can trust His timing.
Your love and concern for your mother honors God. To care for a parent is part of walking as His holy people, and He sees the years you gave to that care and the ache you feel now at the distance. God watches over His people, He pities them, and He has promised to provide and to do great things for them, so we need not be afraid. Bring this specific question before Him daily, whether to move nearer to her or to help her be nearer to you. Ask for wisdom, for open and closed doors, for counsel from Scripture and from wise believers, and for peace that confirms His leading. As you sow faithfulness and obedience, you will reap His guidance. He refines His children as gold is tried, and those who are refined learn to say, the Lord is my God, and He answers, you are my people.
Let us pray together. Father, in the name of Jesus we come to You for this dear one who wants Your will above all else. Thank You that whoever calls on Your name is delivered, and that You give a new heart and a new spirit to those who turn to You. Wash and cleanse today, and pour out Your Spirit afresh. Lead by Your hand where eyes cannot yet see the way. Give clear wisdom about this mother and the distance between them, and show what love and honor require in this season. Let Your will be done in both lives, and let Your provision of daily bread, Your protection, and Your great faithfulness be known. We trust You to keep Your word and to answer as we seek You. Amen.
