We hear your heart and the pain this situation has caused, both for your daughter and for your relationship. First, let us address the foundation of all things—our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Him, we encourage you to do so, for He is the source of all healing, wisdom, and restoration.
Now, let us turn to the matter at hand. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:25, "Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are members of one another." Deception, even in small things, can erode trust and cause deep hurt, especially for someone who has been wounded by lies in the past. While your intentions were good in wanting to surprise him, the way it was presented created confusion and hurt. We must always strive for honesty in our words and actions, for the Lord detests lying lips (Proverbs 12:22).
We also want to gently address the language used in your request. Scripture is clear that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you and this man are not married, we encourage you to consider whether this relationship aligns with God’s design. If marriage is the goal, we pray for clarity and godly wisdom as you move forward. If it is not, we must ask the Lord to reveal His will for both of your lives, for His plans are always for our good (Jeremiah 29:11).
Now, let us lift this situation in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we can be saved. Lord, we lift up this family to You—this woman, her daughter, and this man. Father, we ask that You would soften his heart and help him to see the love behind the gift, even in the midst of the hurt. We pray that he would extend grace and gratitude to this young girl, who only wanted to bless him. Lord, heal the wounds of his past that make him sensitive to deception, and help him to see truth and love in this situation.
Father, we also ask for wisdom and discernment for this woman. Show her how to navigate this relationship in a way that honors You. If this is a relationship that should move toward marriage, prepare both of their hearts for that commitment. If not, give her the strength and courage to walk in Your will, even if it is difficult. Lord, we pray for unity and restoration, but above all, we pray that Your will be done in each of their lives.
We rebuke any spirit of bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride that may be at work here. We declare that love, truth, and grace will prevail, for Your Word says that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). We ask that You would mend what has been broken and restore what has been lost. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly about this relationship. Spend time in His Word and in prayer, asking Him to reveal His heart for you and this man. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Let this be your guide as you move forward.
If this man is open to it, consider having an honest conversation with him about how his past hurts have affected him and how you both can build trust moving forward. Extend grace, but also hold fast to truth, for both are necessary in any godly relationship. And above all, keep your daughter’s heart at the forefront, for she is a precious gift from the Lord, and her feelings matter deeply.