Besman
Disciple of Prayer
Prayer for weight loss. I have been abused physically, emotionally, and verbally by my husband and his mother. My kiddos are not allowed to come by the house because my mother-in-law tells my husband I don’t want her coming to my house. I don’t have anything against her. I used to be open to her until I see her true colors. And I stopped being open to her. I used to ask her to go places with me, but she would tell my husband my friends and I made her the eyeball, which is a lie. I tried to include her in everything I do, but she either has an excuse not to go or tells my husband a lie, so I stopped. To me, it’s not healthy. Now every day I’m at war with my husband because my mother-in-law is okay with my husband beating me up in front of her. And she pretends to talk to me as if it is funny. So yes, I shut down. My husband calls me fat and lazy and stupid, all of the above. He tells me he wasted his time raising my kids and that he made me who I am today, but I know God made me who I am today. I’m successful in my career because of God. I’m smart because of God. My body is so heavy my bones could barely support my weight. I begged your mercy and prayers to help me get back in shape. I signed up for a gym, but my husband and mother-in-law think I’m just wasting money at the gym because I don’t want to save money for the renovation of our house so my mother-in-law can move in quickly. I gave up my master bedroom for my mother-in-law, but it still is not good enough. She goes to church every Sunday and reads her Bible, but she wants my husband to control me the way she wants and wants me to buy her expensive things. Now I just stop mentioning anything about my mother-in-law or even call or text her. I figured take myself out of the equation so I don’t get abused, but I was wrong; she still finds a way to get my husband to yell, curse, and almost hit me tonight. So I also shut down in talking to my husband like I used to before. I don’t say anything to him anymore about how his day went or how my day went. Or hold his hand like I used to, cook for him. I stopped. Every food I cooked, he complains I cannot cook or do anything right. He won’t eat the food I make, but yet he yells at me so the entire neighborhood can hear it. So I really don’t know what to do. I used to love coming home after work, but now I dread coming home. I hate coming home. I won’t cheat at all; I just want peace. Every time my husband gets angry, it’s because my mother-in-law said something. So I just bite my tongue, take the abuse, and pray so hard quietly that God keep peace and love in my heart while I bite down on my teeth so hard, and pray he stops, but who am I? I’m just a fat, lazy, ugly, stupid wife that wants his money, so he says. Since I took a career with a pay cut, now that my husband makes more money than me, he tells me he pays everything. That he is the one making all the money. So I just keep quiet; he just tells me to stuff my fat mouth with food. Please pray for me to strengthen me and change my eating habits, heal my body. I feel like my entire body is inflamed, and pray that I don’t crave to buy junk food or waste money on dumb things, please. I know one of these days my husband will beat me senseless. I just want to be in shape and be happy within myself. I don’t care about getting abuse; I can endure that. Been through it over 22 years. I will endure any abuse my husband gives me because of his mom or what he wants. I just please ask for prayers to help me get in the best shape there is, please. Thank you, Jesus, and I hope to get a higher-paying job soon. I know when it is God’s time for me to get that job, it is God’s time, so I’m not worried about that. I just really want to lose weight. I am currently 250 pounds. I have a lot of injuries. Two ACL surgeries, ectopic surgery, back and neck injuries, and both hips shifted from car accidents that weren’t my fault. I just want to be light, thank you, and God bless.
