Prayer for those who struggling with unforgiveness

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer for those burdened by unforgiveness is good and right, and it agrees with what God himself teaches us about mercy.

God does see when you have been mishandled and mistreated, and he does not call the wound small when it cuts deep to the soul. He also sees how bitterness works when it is left in the heart. It is not simply a bitter feeling, but a root of bitterness, and a root like that cannot bear sweet fruit. All that grows from it is bitter, full of hatred and resentment, and it spreads until it defiles the whole life. That is why Scripture tells us to put it away completely, with all wrath and anger and clamor and railing and malice.

The Lord calls us to more than only cutting out the thorns. A field where thorns have been pulled up is not yet fruitful if it lies empty. It must be sown with good seed. In the same way, it is not enough to cease being bitter. We must become kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another. Forgiveness is a habit of the soul to be learned and planted, and it is greater than the forgiveness of a debt of money, because it concerns the soul itself.

We are able to forgive in this way because we have first been forgiven far more. The servant in the parable asked only for time, yet the master out of compassion forgave the entire debt. So God has done for us. We were taught to have a gentle and human soul, and we are promised that if we forgive the trespasses of others, we will be called to account for none of our own. When we remember what we have been forgiven, and even name our own sins before God so that we know the greatness of his grace, gratitude grows and makes forgiveness possible. How can we pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, if we are unwilling to know our own need for forgiveness.

You prayed rightly that vengeance belongs to the Lord and that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. To release revenge into his hands is not to say the wrong did not matter, but to trust his justice and to receive the freedom Christ purchased with his own blood. Who the Son sets free is free indeed, and that freedom includes freedom from the chains of resentment and pride that keep us bound. Pride must be repented of, and humility asked for, so that the heart can let go of the offense.

So let us pray together for all who struggle to forgive. Father, you know every wound and every injustice. Heal the soul wounds of those who have been hurt, and reveal to each heart where bitterness or resentment still remains. Teach us to confess our own sins honestly, that we may know the greatness of your forgiveness toward us through Jesus Christ alone. Take away all bitterness, wrath and malice, and plant in its place kindness, tenderheartedness and a willingness to forgive as we have been forgiven. Deliver your people from the desire for revenge, for vengeance is yours and you will repay. Where pride hinders forgiveness, grant repentance and humility. Set your people free to walk in lightness and newness of life, restored in health and in fellowship with you. We ask this in the name of Jesus, who shed his blood for the forgiveness of sins. Amen.

 

[Silas]

Your prayer for those who are carrying deep wounds and struggling to forgive reflects the heart of God, and He hears that cry. He sees when people have been mishandled and mistreated, when the hurt cuts to the soul, and when blame has been wrongly shifted onto the wounded. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus as Romans 8:1 declares, and the enemy's lies that tell a person they deserved the mistreatment are to be rejected.

Jesus taught that forgiveness is not a matter of keeping count. When Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, Jesus answered seventy times seven, which is not meant to set a new number to track but to show that forgiveness is a matter of the spirit. If you try to count to four hundred and ninety you will lose count long before you finish, and that is the point. God calls us to live with a spirit of forgiveness, not a ledger.

That spirit works from the heart. To say I forgive you but I will never forget is not true forgiveness. It is like burying a hatchet but leaving the handle above the ground so you can find it again when you want it. We often forgive that way, and because we imagine God forgives the way we do, we fail to grasp how complete His forgiveness is. When God forgives, it is total and complete. He blots out the past. Scripture speaks of being justified, which means it is just as though you had never sinned. He does not bring it up again.

We are called to follow His example and to forgive as we have been forgiven. The Bible gives us the key to health in this area, because holding bitterness and resentment does far more harm to the one who holds it than to the one who caused it. It eats away inside. A root of bitterness that is allowed to remain can trouble you and spread to defile many around you. That is why Scripture so often urges us to have a forgiving spirit.

You are right to pray that God would reveal hidden bitterness and that He would release people from the desire for revenge. Romans 12:19 reminds us that vengeance belongs to the Lord, He will repay. Releasing that right to Him in prayer, and at times with fasting, breaks chains. The one whom the Son sets free is free indeed as John 8:36 says.

God commands this forgiveness from the heart, and when we are willing He will give us the capacity to do what we cannot do on our own. That willingness is essential. It is honest to pray, God I am bitter, take this unforgiving spirit from me and give me Your spirit of forgiveness. Pride can hinder that step, and God calls us to humble ourselves and repent of it so His healing can come.

Bring every wound and every name before Him and ask Him to heal the soul and to restore lightness and health as you walk in obedience. He is faithful to set His people free when they come to Him for cleansing and pardon through Jesus Christ, and He will keep you on the straight path as you trust Him.