We rejoice with you that your stepson and his wife have recently received Christ as their Lord and Savior, for if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new 2 Corinthians 5:17. This is the greatest hope we can have for them and for their three little boys, and we thank God for their new birth and for the Bible group they have started in their home. At the same time we share your deep burden for what you witnessed and for the pattern you are seeing in his life, and we bring it all before the Lord together in Jesus name.
We must speak plainly in love about the anger that is still ruling your stepson. The Word tells us Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil Ephesians 4:26-27 and Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice Ephesians 4:31. Anger that causes a man to quit good work, to be unable to keep a job, and to erupt over a small thing like a child picking up a box of food is not from the Spirit of God. We understand that new believers are babes in Christ and need much help and discipleship, but anger like this is sin that must be confessed and repented of, not excused. He who is slow to anger is of great understanding, but he who is hasty of spirit exalts folly Proverbs 14:29 and Everyone should be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God James 1:19-20. His quick temper is harming his ability to provide for his household, and Scripture warns us But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever 1 Timothy 5:8. Quitting a salaried position as a senior chef after a month to take another job on impulse, especially when his family is struggling financially, shows a lack of steadfastness and self control, which is part of the fruit of the Spirit But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self control Galatians 5:22-23.
What grieves us most is what you saw done to his three year old son. We love children dearly as God does, and we must rebuke harsh and frightening treatment of a little one. The Lord commands Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Ephesians 6:4 and Fathers, do not irritate your children, so they will not become discouraged Colossians 3:21. To slap a small child on the hand, drag him into a room and stand over him yelling at the top of his voice over such a small offense is not loving discipline, it is provoking and frightening a little heart. It can wound a child deeply and it is not how our heavenly Father disciplines us. We urge your stepson to see this as serious before the Lord and to repent and to learn a biblical way to train and correct his sons with patience and gentleness. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6 is done through consistent, calm, loving instruction, not through outbursts of wrath.
We also hear your concern for their home and for the three boys ages ###, ### and ###. While we know young families with three small children struggle and become overwhelmed, especially when finances are tight, we are called to be good stewards of what God has given us, including our homes and our children. An unclean and chaotic home can be a sign of being overwhelmed and needing help and order. Your willingness to babysit the baby in your home during the week and to help them financially is a beautiful picture of family love, and we encourage you to continue to help wisely with clear boundaries and with a desire to point them to maturity, not just to meet needs.
We encourage you to not remain silent after what you saw. You did right to step in to protect that little boy in the moment. Now in love we encourage you and his mother to go to your stepson privately and speak the truth in love Ephesians 4:15, calling him to repentance and to seek help. Because he and his wife are new in the faith, they need mature believers around them, not only a Bible group they lead themselves but a faithful local church where older godly men can mentor your stepson Titus 2:6 and older godly women can come alongside his wife Titus 2:3-4. He needs pastoral counsel and accountability for his anger, and practical help to learn godly work ethic, stewardship and parenting. If the anger and harshness toward the children continues or escalates, we urge you to involve their pastor and, if needed, proper authorities to ensure the safety of those precious boys, for every child is a gift from the Lord Psalm 127:3.
We pray together now for your family in the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved Acts 4:12.
Father in heaven, we come before Your throne in the mighty name of Jesus Christ and we thank You that this young husband and wife have called upon the name of Your Son and have been saved. We ask You to establish them in their faith, to root them in Your Word, and to surround them with mature brothers and sisters who will disciple them daily. Lord, we lift up this stepson to You and ask You to break the power of anger in his life. Forgive him for his wrath and for frightening his son, and teach him to put off anger and to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience Colossians 3:12. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit so that self control will govern his tongue, his hands and his decisions. Heal any wound in his past that fuels this anger and make him a gentle, steady, godly husband and father who loves his wife as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25 and who nurtures his children without harshness.
We pray for his wife, that You would strengthen her as a new believer, as a mother of three small boys, and as a helpmate to her husband. Give her wisdom and courage to support what is right and to seek help when needed. We pray for the three boys, especially the three year old who was treated so harshly. Cover him with Your protection, comfort his little heart, and let him know he is safe and deeply loved by You and by his grandparents. We ask for safety, health and peace in that home, and for order and cleanliness to be restored as they learn to steward their household well. Provide for their financial needs, Lord, and give this young father a desire for faithful, diligent work, that he may keep a job and provide for his household with integrity and perseverance.
We lift up these grandparents who love this family so sacrificially. Give them wisdom, boldness and grace to speak, to set loving boundaries, to continue to intercede without ceasing, and to rest in Your peace when they cannot sleep from worry. Remind them that You are the true Shepherd of these children and that You hear every prayer. We trust that You who began a good work in this young couple will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6, and we ask all this in the saving and powerful name of Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
