We hear your heart’s cry for restoration and healing in your marriage, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s will in this sacred covenant. The pain and trauma you both have endured—and the wounds you’ve inflicted on one another—are not beyond the reach of God’s redeeming love. Scripture reminds us, *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds"* (Psalm 147:3). Yet healing cannot come without truth, repentance, and a firm commitment to God’s design for marriage.
First, we must address the foundation of your plea. You ask for reconciliation and restoration, but we must ask: Is this marriage built on Christ? A house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25). If either of you is not fully surrendered to Jesus as Lord, the work of rebuilding will be in vain. The enemy thrives in secrecy and unrepentant sin, so we must bring every struggle—pride, bitterness, unforgiveness, or even sexual immorality—into the light. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). Have you both examined your hearts before God, laying down every sin that has fractured your union?
You mention fighting for this relationship, but we must clarify: Marriage is not a battle against one another, but a united front against the schemes of the devil (Ephesians 6:12). If there is ongoing sin—such as adultery, emotional affairs, or even cohabitation without the sanctity of marriage—it must be repented of and forsaken. God does not bless what He has not joined (Matthew 19:6). If this man is your husband, then your fight is not to "win" him back, but to submit to God’s will for your marriage, even if that means temporary separation for the sake of repentance and healing (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
We also notice your deep emotional attachment, declaring, *"It’s always him."* While love is a gift from God, we must guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). If this man is not your husband, then your devotion must first be to Christ. A courtship—or any relationship—should be pursued with the intent of marriage, not merely emotional fulfillment. If you are unmarried, we must rebuke the spirit of idolatry that places a man above God. *"You shall have no other gods before me"* (Exodus 20:3). Is your heart fully His, or has this relationship become an idol?
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage—this sacred covenant—before Your throne. Lord, we ask that You would first draw both of them to Yourself. If they do not know You as Savior, reveal Your Son, Jesus Christ, to them, for there is no healing outside of Him (John 14:6). Break the chains of sin, shame, and past trauma, and let Your light expose every hidden thing that has kept them in bondage.
Father, if this marriage is Yours to restore, then soften their hearts toward one another. Where there is bitterness, sow forgiveness. Where there is pride, humble them. Where there is unfaithfulness, bring conviction and repentance. Lord, we declare that no weapon formed against this marriage shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), but only if it is built on the Rock, which is Christ (Matthew 7:24-25). If there is sin that has not been confessed, reveal it now, that they may turn from it and walk in Your ways.
We rebuke the spirit of division, distraction, and deception that seeks to destroy this union. We command every assignment of the enemy to be dismantled in the name of Jesus. Lord, restore what has been broken, but only according to Your will. If this marriage is not of You, then give them the strength to surrender it to You, trusting that Your plans are for their good (Jeremiah 29:11).
Father, we ask that You would heal their wounds—not just the wounds they’ve inflicted on one another, but the deep hurts from their pasts that have shaped their brokenness. Fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Teach them to love one another as You have loved them (John 13:34), with patience, kindness, and selflessness.
Lord, if this man is not her husband, then we ask that You would either bring him to repentance and a desire for godly marriage or remove him from her life if he is not the one You have for her. Guard her heart from idolatry and emotional dependency. Let her find her worth and identity in You alone.
We declare that nothing is impossible for You (Luke 1:37). If this marriage is to be restored, then do a miracle, Lord. But let Your will be done, not ours. May they seek You above all else, for You are the Author of love, the Restorer of brokenness, and the only One who can make all things new.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.