Prayer for my fallen husband

[Anonymous]

I’m asking for prayer for my husband and our marriage, last November, I discovered my husband‘s infidelity and that night he left our home. We’d been married ### years together for ###. This is so unlike him this is out of the blue I would’ve never ever thought he would ever do this to me. He knows I want him back home. I just pray that the Lord softens his heart, renews his spirit and brings him back home to his family, I pray for restoration of our marriage. I’m still in love with him. I miss him, I know he had been involved with his mistress just until recently last month, I know they are no longer together. I fear now that he will seek out another relationship. I don’t think I can handle this again. The first one exhausted me mentally, physically, and spiritually. I just don’t know what to do. Next month will be a year. I’m so broken. I miss him so much. We still have contact, he stops by to see the kids. We have ### kids (one in heaven) all are adults now except two of them ### & ###. Our family is completely destroyed by my husbands actions. My children are hurt, they despise him. They don’t care to talk or see him at all. Our separation is somewhat unique, you see , we’re still intimate with each other… even while he was with his mistress, I ended up becoming my own husbands mistress!
I know , I know! I’m just asking for prayers for our family, our marriage, for my husband to find the Lord, ask for forgiveness, repent and come back home.
Thank you

 

[Articles]

We hear your broken heart and we weep with you in this deep pain, and we stand together with you before the throne of grace seeking God's will for your marriage and family. You have carried an immense burden for nearly a year since your husband left after his infidelity, and we know the Lord sees every tear and every sleepless night. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18, and we thank you for sharing this so honestly with us.

We love your heart for marriage and your desire for restoration. God ordained marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and what therefore God has joined together, let no man separate Matthew 19:6. We strongly endorse and pray for the healing and restoration of your marriage, for God hates divorce Malachi 2:16 and His heart is for reconciliation where repentance is present. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4.

We must lovingly speak truth about what has happened. Your husband's infidelity and his leaving the home is sin before God. You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14, and the Scripture says to flee sexual immorality, every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. Husbands are commanded to love their wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it Ephesians 5:25, and to leave his home and pursue another woman is a grievous breaking of that covenant. We rebuke that sin and we pray your husband will come under deep conviction, godly sorrow, and true repentance.

We also must address with gentleness what you shared about still being intimate with your husband while you are separated, even while he was still involved with his mistress, feeling like you became your own husband's mistress. While you are still his wife in God's eyes and intimacy within marriage itself is not fornication, continuing in physical intimacy while he remains unrepentant, living outside the home, and without a full commitment to reconciliation, does not honor God's design for marriage and keeps you in a place of deep hurt and confusion. It can remove the natural consequences that God uses to bring conviction and it keeps your heart tied to a cycle of hope and devastation that has left you mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. We encourage you to set clear and godly boundaries, to guard your heart and your body, and to require true repentance, accountability and pastoral counseling before resuming intimacy. Let marriage be lived in holiness and commitment, not in secret visits. We urge you to seek wise counsel from a trusted pastor or godly counselor in your church who can walk with you both, and if your husband claims to be a believer, the church has a role to call him to repentance Matthew 18:15-17. A wife should not leave her husband, and a husband should not leave his wife, but if there is separation, remain unmarried or be reconciled 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.

We also hear your fear that he will seek another relationship and that you cannot endure another betrayal, and your exhaustion is understandable. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7, and do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28. He gives power to the weak and to him who has no might he increases strength Isaiah 40:29. God is able to restore what has been broken, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten Joel 2:25, and with God all things are possible Matthew 19:26.

Your children are hurting and their anger toward their father is real, yet we encourage you to gently guide them toward not holding onto bitterness, while also understanding their pain is valid. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:31-32. Forgiveness does not excuse sin, but it frees the heart. Your husband bears the responsibility to humbly seek their forgiveness as well.

You asked for prayer that the Lord would soften his heart, renew his spirit and bring him home. We join you in that and we pray that God would give him a new heart and put a new spirit within him, to take away the stony heart out of his flesh and give him a heart of flesh Ezekiel 36:26, that he would repent therefore and turn again, that his sins may be blotted out Acts 3:19.

We noticed you spoke of the Lord but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to remind you with love that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. We pray you and your husband both know Jesus as Savior, for only He can truly heal and restore.

We pray together now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, and we lift this dear wife, her husband, and their children to You. Lord, You see her brokenness, her love for her husband, her exhaustion and her fear, and we ask You to hold her close, to give her rest, wisdom and strength for each day. Heal her body, mind and spirit, and guard her heart with Your perfect peace. Lord, we lift her husband to You, we ask that You convict him of his adultery and abandonment, bring him to true repentance, soften his heart, create in him a clean heart and renew a right spirit within him Psalm 51:10, and draw him to salvation through Jesus if he does not know You. Turn him from every immoral path and from seeking another relationship, and bring him to godly sorrow that leads to repentance. Lord, if it is Your will, restore this marriage on a foundation of holiness, truth, accountability and renewed love, and let their home be rebuilt on Christ. Protect the children, heal their wounds, keep them from bitterness, and help this mother to guide them with grace. Give her godly counsel and a supportive church family to surround her, and help her to walk in boundaries that honor You. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We have been praying as we read what this year has held for you. Loving your husband still and missing him every day, while carrying the shock of how he left and the long months since, is an incredibly heavy place to live. It makes sense you feel broken and completely worn down as this anniversary approaches.

We hear your deep desire for your husband to turn to the Lord and for your family to be healed, and also your fear about what might happen next and how much the first betrayal cost you mentally, physically and spiritually. Staying in close contact and being intimate while you are separated can leave you feeling even more torn and confused, and it is understandable you feel exhausted.

When a marriage has been shaken this deeply, having one steady, wise person to walk with you can help. If you have a trusted pastor or a Christian counselor who understands betrayal trauma, meeting with them just for you, not to fix everything at once but to have a safe place to process, to think through healthy boundaries and next decisions, and to care for your own strength, can be a steady support. If that exhaustion continues, please also let your doctor know alongside prayer so you are cared for in every way. You do not have to carry your children's hurt alone either, they may need their own safe place to be heard.

Father, we lift this wife and mother to You, and her husband and each of their children. Comfort her in her weariness, guard her heart and health, give her wisdom for each conversation and choice, and draw her husband toward You in repentance and truth. Bring Your peace and clear direction to this family in the days ahead. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your grief has come before the Lord and He hears the brokenhearted, and your long year of sorrow, exhaustion in body and spirit, and love for your husband and children is not hidden from Him.

It is right to desire the restoration of your marriage, for marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman before God, and He is able to heal what sin has torn. Yet the healing He gives must be holy healing. What you need most to pray for, and what your husband needs most to receive, is not merely a return to the house, but a true turning of the heart to Christ.

There are many kinds of repentance that do not save. There is a carnal repentance that comes from judgment or fear or regret, a repentance after a fashion that is of the flesh, but it does not give God glory and it does not last. True repentance is the work of the Holy Spirit in the renewed heart. It gives God glory, it makes a man weep and abhor his sin because of the love of Christ who pardoned it, and it makes him avoid present sin because of the love of God who died for him. You may know it by this, that it yields works meet for repentance, it is practical, and it lasts. It pulls down what is evil and builds up what is holy, it purges the soul from dead works and fills it with living works, and it looks out of self to Christ and to Christ only. Repentance and remission of sins go together and are preached in the name of Jesus, for repentance itself is the gift of God, and where there is true godly sorrow there is full and free forgiveness through His finished work.

This is why I must speak to you with tender plainness about your present sorrow. You have said you have become as it were your own husband's mistress, continuing in intimacy while he remains separated from you and unreconciled to God and to his vows. Though you are still his wife by covenant, to give your body in this unsettled and unrepentant state does not honor the Lord nor does it lead toward true restoration. It wearies you further, it confuses your children who are already deeply hurt, and it allows him to remain in sin without feeling the weight of it. The Lord calls His people to purity, and sex belongs only within the faithful, dwelling love of the marriage covenant, not in a divided house. For the sake of your soul, his soul, and your children's peace, seek grace to set a holy boundary and to live in purity before God until there is a clear, lasting repentance and a true coming home. This is not unkindness, it is love that seeks his eternal good and the glory of God. Seek the counsel and covering of faithful pastors and mature believers near you, that you may not bear this alone and that he may be called to account in love.

Take heart from the goodness of God which leads to repentance. He does not only drive with judgment, He draws with mercy. As with Peter, one look from the Lord can break the heart and bring a bitter, salutary, saving repentance that restores. Pray that the Lord would grant your husband such a look, that He would create in him a clean heart and renew a right spirit within him, that he would confess his sin, forsake it, and find mercy. Pray that his repentance would not be a passing regret but a repentance unto life that preserves and proves itself in daily faithfulness.

Let us pray together. O Lord God, holy and merciful, have mercy upon this family. Thou knowest this wife's tears, her love, her weariness, and her longing. Keep her in Thy grace, guard her body and mind in holiness, give her wisdom for every conversation and visit concerning the children, and let her find her first rest not in her husband's return but in Christ alone who alone saves. We ask that Thou wouldst save her husband, that Thou wouldst grant him the gift of true repentance that gives Thee glory, that he may see his sin against Thee, turn from it, receive remission through the blood of Jesus, and walk in newness of life. If it be Thy will, restore this marriage in righteousness and purity, and heal the wounds of these children. Let Thy goodness lead to repentance and let Thy Spirit do a lasting work. We ask in the name of Jesus Christ our only hope. Amen.

Continue to wait upon the Lord, to walk in obedience, and to trust Him with the outcome. He is faithful, and sweet sister repentance is the companion of true faith all our days.