We thank you for sharing so honestly with us and we rejoice that you desire to be fully delivered and to be a true child of God, for that desire itself is evidence that God is drawing you and has not left you alone. We hear your struggle with falling again and again into the same habitual sins, the growing frequency, the hardening of heart, the loss of godly sorrow, the difficulty to pray and to read the Word, and the burden of being without work and with much idle time, and we want to lift all of this before the Lord with you.
We want to speak plainly and lovingly about habitual sin. The Word tells us that sin when entertained will seek to have dominion, but for the believer the promise is For sin will not have dominion over you. For you are not under law, but under grace. Romans 6:14. We cannot overcome by merely trying harder in our own strength, as you have experienced, the more I try the more I fall. The apostle Paul described this same war when he said For I don’t know what I am doing. For I don’t practice what I desire to do, but what I hate, that I do. Romans 7:15. The answer is not more willpower alone but walking in dependence on the Holy Spirit. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16. Habitual sin, whether it be lust, impurity, anger, drunkenness, lying, pornography or any other work of the flesh, must be called what it is and repented of, not excused or hidden. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9. We must also flee temptation and not flirt with it, for No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13, and Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7. A hardened heart and diminished regret is a serious warning, and we urge you not to remain in that place. God promises I will also give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26, and Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10.
We noticed you spoke of turning back to God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and deliverance from sin. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is by believing on the Lord Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, that we are forgiven and receive the Holy Spirit to empower us to live righteously. If you have not fully trusted in Him alone for salvation, we encourage you to do so now, confessing your sin and your need for Him.
Your difficulty in praying and reading the Bible and your season without work are all connected. When we neglect the Word and prayer, we starve our spirit, and when we have much idle and unstructured time, the enemy finds opportunity. We encourage you to redeem the time, for the days are evil. Ephesians 5:16. Establish a simple daily discipline, even if your feelings are dull. Set a time to read the Word, to pray aloud even briefly, to thank God, and to seek useful work. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men. Colossians 3:23. We also encourage you to seek fellowship with mature believers who can hold you accountable, confess to and pray with, for we are called not to walk alone. Idleness and boredom should be replaced with purposeful labor, service, exercise, and meditation on what is true and pure. Finally, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8.
You asked what it means to be filled with the Spirit when praying and praising. The Scripture commands Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Ephesians 5:18-19. To be filled with the Spirit is not merely a mystical feeling or an emotional experience, though joy and peace often accompany it, but it is to be controlled and empowered by the Holy Spirit as we surrender to God, confess sin, feed on the Word, and yield in obedience. It is an ongoing need, daily asking God to fill us and rule us, and the evidence is a life that bears fruit, loves the Word, loves holiness, and praises God from the heart even in trials. We are filled as we abide in Christ, pray in Jesus name, and walk in obedience, not by seeking an experience alone.
We pray together for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before Your throne of grace for our dear brother who is weary of falling. Lord, we confess his sins and our own before You and ask for Your mercy and cleansing according to 1 John 1:9. Forgive him, cleanse him from all unrighteousness, and give him a new heart that hates sin and loves You. Take away the stony heart and give a heart of flesh. Break the chains of these habitual sins and let sin no longer have dominion over him by Your grace. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, Lord, that he may walk by the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Restore to him the joy of Your salvation and renew a right spirit within him. Teach him to pray again, to hunger for Your Word, to watch and pray so that he does not enter into temptation. Give him strength to flee temptation and to take the way of escape You provide. Provide for him meaningful work, open doors for employment, and help him to use his time wisely for Your glory. Teach him what it means to be filled with the Spirit, to be led and controlled by You, to praise You in spirit and in truth. Keep him from discouragement and remind him that Your grace is sufficient and Your power is made perfect in weakness. We ask all this in the mighty and only saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue to draw near to God even when you do not feel like it, for He has promised to draw near to you. Make no provision for the flesh, cut off sources of temptation, keep the Word before your eyes daily, and seek a faithful local church where you can be shepherded. God is faithful and He will complete the good work He has begun in you as you abide in Christ.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
