We come before the Father with you in this time of heartache and uncertainty, lifting your pain and confusion to Him who knows all things and holds your future. The breakup you are experiencing is deeply painful, and we acknowledge the weight of grief, longing, and even the exhaustion that comes from wrestling with unanswered questions. Yet, in this season, we see how God is already at work—drawing you closer to Himself, exposing areas in your heart that need His touch, and calling you to deeper trust in His sovereignty. You have shared how this trial has caused you to reflect on your faith, and we rejoice that even in suffering, the Lord is refining you like gold in the fire. He is faithful, and He will not waste this pain.
First, we must address something critical: your prayers have not mentioned the name of Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to the Father. It is only by His name that we are saved, and it is only through Him that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’* (John 14:6, WEB). *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). If you have not yet surrendered your life fully to Christ, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, turn from them, and place your trust in Him alone for salvation. Without Christ, there is no true peace, no eternal hope, and no assurance that your prayers are heard. If you *have* trusted in Him, then we encourage you to pray *in His name*, for it is by His authority and merit that we approach the throne of grace.
Now, let us speak to the matter of this relationship. We hear your heart’s cry for restoration, and we understand the ache of longing for what was lost. However, we must gently but firmly remind you of God’s design for relationships. If this woman was not a believer in Christ, or if this relationship was not one that honored God in purity, commitment, and the pursuit of marriage, then it was not a relationship aligned with His will. Scripture is clear: *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). If she was not a sister in Christ, then the Lord’s will is for you to release her completely, trusting that His plans for you are good. Even if she was a believer, if the relationship was marked by emotional instability, avoidance of commitment, or a lack of godly pursuit of marriage, then it was not what God intends for His children.
You mentioned her avoidant attachment style and the pain of being blocked, and we grieve with you over the rejection you feel. But we must ask: was this relationship built on Christ, or was it built on emotional dependency, fear, or worldly desires? *"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love"* (1 John 4:18, WEB). If this relationship was filled with anxiety, confusion, or a lack of godly love and commitment, then it was not from the Lord. God does not call His children to relationships marked by instability, emotional games, or a refusal to communicate. His design is for marriage—a covenant between one man and one woman, rooted in Christ, marked by selfless love, commitment, and purity. Anything less is not His best for you.
You have prayed for God to remove her from your heart, yet you feel a tug to "be patient." We caution you: be careful not to mistake your own longing for the voice of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God will *never* lead you to cling to what is not His will. If this relationship was not centered on Christ, if it was not moving toward godly marriage, or if it was filled with sin (such as emotional or physical intimacy outside of marriage), then the Lord’s command is clear: *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB). If there was any sexual sin in this relationship, you must repent and turn from it, seeking the Lord’s forgiveness and cleansing. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB).
The uncertainty you feel is an opportunity to surrender fully to God’s will. You do not need to know the future—you only need to trust the One who holds it. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). The Lord is not calling you to passively wait for a woman who has walked away; He is calling you to actively seek *Him* above all else. *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33, WEB). Your focus right now should not be on whether she returns, but on whether *you* are fully surrendered to Christ. Are you seeking Him with your whole heart? Are you allowing this trial to draw you closer to Him, or are you allowing it to distract you from His purposes?
We also urge you to examine your own heart. Have you made an idol of this relationship? Have you placed your hope for happiness in her rather than in Christ? *"Little children, keep yourselves from idols"* (1 John 5:21, WEB). If your peace, joy, or sense of worth is tied to her return, then your heart is not yet fully His. The Lord jealously desires your whole heart, and He will not share it with anything—or anyone—else. *"You shall have no other gods before me"* (Exodus 20:3, WEB).
Now, let us pray with you:
Heavenly Father, we lift our brother before You, knowing that You see his pain, his confusion, and his longing for answers. Lord, we ask that You would meet him in this place of brokenness and draw him deeper into Your presence. Father, if there has been any sin in this relationship—whether emotional dependency, idolatry, or physical immorality—we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Wash him anew by the blood of Jesus and set him free from any ungodly soul ties. Break every chain that has bound his heart to what is not Your will.
Lord, we pray that You would give him clarity—not just about this relationship, but about *You*. Open his eyes to see You more clearly, to trust You more fully, and to surrender his desires to Your perfect plan. If this woman is not Your will for him, then we ask that You would remove every trace of longing for her. Sever the emotional ties that keep him bound, and fill the void with Your love, Your peace, and Your purposes. If, by some divine plan, she *is* the one You have for him, then we ask that You would make it undeniably clear—and that You would prepare *both* of their hearts for a relationship that honors You, one that is pure, committed, and centered on Christ.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of fear, anxiety, and confusion that has tormented his mind. We declare that *"God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7, WEB). Fill him with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Give him the strength to release what is not Yours, and the faith to trust that Your plans for him are good.
Lord, we pray that You would surround him with godly community—brothers and sisters in Christ who can speak truth into his life, encourage him in Your Word, and hold him accountable. Raise up mentors who will disciple him and help him grow in faith. Father, if he has not fully surrendered to You, we pray that this trial would be the very thing that leads him to repentance and salvation. Let him know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is the only way, the only truth, and the only life—and that apart from Him, there is no hope.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would restore his joy. Let him find his satisfaction in You alone. Remind him that You are his portion, his inheritance, and his everlasting reward. *"Whom have I in heaven but you? There is no one on earth whom I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"* (Psalm 73:25-26, WEB).
We pray all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to immerse yourself in Scripture during this time. Meditate on passages that remind you of God’s sovereignty and love, such as Romans 8:28 (*"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose"*) and Jeremiah 29:11 (*"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"*).
We also urge you to seek godly counsel—whether from a pastor, a mature believer, or a biblical counselor. Isolation in times of heartache can lead to further confusion and despair. Surround yourself with those who will point you to Christ.
Lastly, we leave you with this challenge: instead of praying for her return, pray for *her salvation* (if she is not a believer) and for *your own sanctification*. Ask the Lord to make you more like Christ, to prepare you for the wife He has for you (if that is His will), and to use this season to deepen your faith. Trust that if she is the one God has for you, no amount of "no contact" or avoidance will prevent His plan. But if she is not, then clinging to hope where there is none will only delay the blessings He has in store.
Stay steadfast. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and He will not abandon you. *"The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:17-18, WEB). Keep seeking Him. He is your hope.
"‘Our Father in Heaven, May Your Name be kept Holy.
