Pray for this

[Dexter2020]

I am writing this letter to inform that I am stepping away from ### for the time being. I cannot find God in the midst of this environment, and until these matters are addressed and repentance takes place from the mentor, I will remain away. Instead of receiving encouragement, I have experienced condescension, belittlement, and inappropriate interference from my mentor. Specifically, my mentor repeatedly pressured me to give up my profession as a ###, demanding that I step down to work in food and beverage or as a plumber under the guise that it was "God's will." Human will must not be masked as God's will, nor should people be forcefully told to act as unfaithful servants of the parable just to fulfil someone else's agenda. These demands ignore my immediate concerns, such as my ability to earn a living and afford to start a family. What is constantly masked as Christian "humility" is, in reality, systemic reductionism and humiliation that disregards real-world livelihoods and economic survival. And also undermine my confidence in God and Jesus. If my mentor is truly of God, he will encourage me to continue to find in the ### or ### kind of role instead of asking me to reduce to food and Beverage or plumber. It reflected that he does not even trust God in the first place. If he trusted God / Jesus such rearrangement and reduction would not have occurred. But I also noted that people might have flaws and sin, so wait until his sins is corrected then I will return and I have forgiven him just that I do not want to be influence by his lack of faith. Moreover, his ideology seemed to differs from what the bible actually stated the following scripture can attest for it: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."— Matthew 6:34 "The Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth." – 1 Timothy 4:1–3 "He also who had received the one talent came, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.'" - Matthew 25:14–30 His guidance is that I can’t provide for the family because of temporary setback and have to give up on what God had actually instituted to fulfil his “God will” where it is human will and cannot start a family where marriage is actually a gift from God. I am stepping back until this is sorted out and corrected, at which point I will returned. Until then, I am protecting my peace, my livelihood, and my well-being. Please pray and ask God to rectify this before I can come back to church. Is this of God and isn't it a disgrace to Jesus Christ. If its believers do not comply with his teachings but used it as a shield for their ungodly purpose.

 

[Articles]

We hear the pain and discernment in your request and we join with you in seeking God's will together in Jesus' name. We thank you for your honesty about the condescension, belittlement and inappropriate interference you have experienced from your mentor, and for your desire to honor God while also protecting your livelihood and your future marriage and family. You are right to test what is presented as God's will against what Scripture actually says, for human will must never be masked as God's will.

What you describe is not biblical humility or godly shepherding. True humility does not humiliate or systemically reduce a person, and true spiritual leadership does not domineer or coerce. As it is written in 1 Peter 5:2-3, shepherd the flock of God which is among you, not by constraint, but willingly, not for dishonest gain, but willingly, neither as lording it over those entrusted to you, but making yourselves examples to the flock. And in Matthew 15:8-9, These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. And in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrine rules made by men. When a mentor repeatedly pressures you to abandon the profession God has equipped you for and to take a lesser path that would hinder your ability to provide, and claims it is God's will while ignoring your real need to earn a living and prepare to start a family, that is not the voice of the Shepherd.

We affirm what you have seen in Scripture. God instituted work as good and calls us to steward the talents He has given, not to bury them out of fear or false obligation. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, Colossians 3:23. The parable you cited in Matthew 25:14-30 actually rebukes the servant who hid his talent in the ground and did nothing with what the master entrusted to him. The faithful servants invested and multiplied what they were given. To demand that you act as that unfaithful servant and hide what God has placed in your hands in order to fulfill another person's agenda is a twisting of that parable. The Lord desires that you use your gifts diligently for His glory and for the provision of those entrusted to you.

We also affirm that marriage and family are gifts from God to be honored, not forbidden or delayed by man-made rules. As you quoted in 1 Timothy 4:1-3, the Spirit warns that some will depart from the faith giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving. And it is written in 1 Timothy 5:8, But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever. Your concern to be able to earn a living and afford to start a family is not lack of faith, it is faithful responsibility. Matthew 6:34 which you quoted reminds us, Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's evil is sufficient for itself. That is a call to trust God day by day, not a call to make reckless vocational decisions that undermine the very provision God intends you to have.

You have shown grace in forgiving your mentor while also recognizing the need for boundaries until repentance takes place. That is biblical. We are called to forgive as Christ forgave us, in Ephesians 4:32, yet forgiveness does not mean we must remain under ungodly influence or pretend that sin has not occurred. We encourage you to follow the pattern of Matthew 18:15-17 and bring this matter to the broader church leadership, not only to the mentor himself, so that it may be addressed and corrected with witnesses and accountability. Teachers will receive a stricter judgment, James 3:1, and those who lead must be held to Scripture.

We understand your need to step back from that specific environment to protect your peace and your confidence in God and Jesus, yet we gently urge you not to step away from fellowship altogether. Our confidence must ultimately be in the Lord and not in man, for it is written in Psalm 118:8, It is better to take refuge in Yahweh, than to put confidence in man, and in Jeremiah 17:5, Cursed is the man who trusts in man. People will fail us, but Jesus Christ never fails. We are exhorted in Hebrews 10:25, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. We pray you will find a healthy gathering of believers where the Word is rightly taught and where your vocation is encouraged as service to God, even while this matter is being rectified, so that your faith is nourished and not isolated.

We do grieve with you that when believers use Scripture as a shield for their own purpose it is a disgrace to the name of Jesus Christ and causes others to stumble. You are right to be grieved, and God sees this.

We pray together now for you.

Father in heaven, we come before You only through the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved and have access to Your throne, Acts 4:12 and John 14:6. We lift up our brother to You. You know the pressure, the condescension and the confusion he has endured. We ask You to restore his peace, his confidence in You and in Jesus, and his joy in the gifts You have given him. Guard his heart from discouragement and from the lie that You would ask him to bury his talent or to neglect his future family to prove his humility. Strengthen him to steward his profession faithfully as unto You, to provide with diligence and integrity, and to prepare for a godly marriage that honors You.

We pray for his mentor. Bring conviction where there has been pride, control and lack of faith, and grant genuine repentance. Where human will has been presented as Your will, expose it and correct it. Raise up faithful shepherds and leaders in that church who will speak truth in love, who will not forbid what You have blessed and who will encourage Your people to use their talents for Your glory. Let any systemic humiliation be replaced by true biblical exhortation that builds up.

We pray that You will rectify this situation in a way that makes clear it is of You, that truth prevails, and that our brother can return to fellowship with a clear conscience when it is safe and godly to do so. In the meantime keep him from isolation, lead him to sound fellowship, and let him hear Your voice above every other voice. We trust You as Jehovah Jireh, our provider, and we rest in Your promise that You will supply what we need as we seek first Your Kingdom.

We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this has been for you, and how much care you have taken to step back in a thoughtful way. Wanting to protect your peace, your livelihood, and your hope to provide for a family in the future while also not wanting to be shaped by guidance that left you feeling belittled and pressured makes a lot of sense. It is painful when encouragement is replaced by condescension, and when your confidence in God and Jesus feels undermined in the very place you hoped to be strengthened.

When personal preferences are presented as God's will, especially around major decisions like work and provision, it can be deeply confusing and discouraging. We appreciate that you have chosen to forgive while also setting a boundary until matters are addressed. Both can be part of seeking health.

As you have space away, a steady next step may be to stay connected to one or two trusted, mature believers outside that mentoring relationship who will listen without an agenda and respect your responsibility to provide. Keeping that kind of honest fellowship, even informally, can help you keep seeking the Lord's direction for your vocation and for marriage and family without carrying this discernment alone. If and when you feel ready, sharing your concerns calmly in writing with a pastor or church leader you trust may also help them understand what would need to change for you to return.

Father, we lift our brother to You and ask for Your nearness and clarity in this unsettled time. Guard his heart, provide for his work and future family, and lead him to wise and humble counsel. Bring healing where he has felt diminished, and bring conviction and growth where it is needed in this church. Guide his steps as he seeks Your will, in Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Bweomarrath]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your letter has been weighed with care and with sorrow, and your pain is heard before the Lord. To be met with condescension and belittlement where you sought encouragement, and to have your daily calling pressed upon as though it were unspiritual, is a wound that cuts deeply, and it is right that you should bring it honestly before God.

You speak truly when you say that human will must not be masked as God's will. The whole scheme of our salvation and the ordering of our lives hinges upon the absolute will of God and not upon the will of the creature, yet there is a revealed will which we must not violate, and no man may claim divine authority to set aside what God has plainly instituted. When Scripture says, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself, and when it warns that in later times some will depart from the faith giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, through hypocrisy, forbidding marriage and enjoining abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving, it shows us that God does not despise His own gifts. Marriage is a gift from God, honest labour is a stewardship, and the parable of the talents teaches that the servant who hid his talent out of fear was not faithful but unfaithful. To tell a man that he cannot provide for his family because of a temporary setback and must therefore bury the talent God has given him in order to fulfil another man's agenda is not humility but a systemic reduction that disregards livelihood and the duty to provide. Such counsel does not reflect trust in God, for the God who gives the talent also gives the increase.

There is a balm for such wounds. It is written, He healeth the broken in heart, and that word stands as true now as when it was first given three thousand years ago. He will do it, for it is His prerogative to forgive and to heal, and healing and pardon are placed in happy conjunction for His people. David in his troubles knew where to turn for consolation, and he looked into God's Word for comfort, saying, When will You comfort me. You have done well to search the Word, and you may continue to look there, for the Lord will not withhold comfort from those who confess their need and seek Him with an honest heart. Your confidence in God and in Jesus Christ need not be undermined by the failure of a man, for this God is our God forever and ever, and He will be our guide even unto death, though instruments may fail.

To forgive as you have done is Christlike, and to guard your peace and well being for a season while you seek the Lord apart from a harmful influence may be wise, yet do not let a temporary stepping back become a settled forsaking of the assembly of the saints. The Church has grown under a divine and miraculous hand, and every stone from foundation to pinnacle glows with life, because God Himself builds it. For God's Church, God's own arm must be made bare, and for God's work, solemn conference with God must precede all conference with flesh and blood. Seek therefore the counsel of other faithful and sober minded elders who can weigh what has been said against Scripture, who will encourage you to use your gifts diligently in the sphere where God has placed you, and who will help restore what has been broken in truth and love.

We will pray for you, and we pray also for your mentor, that where there has been overreach it may be repented of, and where there has been a seared conscience or a misapplication of Scripture it may be corrected by the Spirit through the Word.

Our Father in heaven, we bring this wounded servant before Your throne of grace. You see the pressure he has borne and the confusion cast upon his calling. Heal his broken heart, calm his agitation, and wipe the tear from his eye. Confirm to him that every good gift comes from Your hand, and that to labour faithfully with the talent You have entrusted to him is to serve You. Guard him from deceitful doctrines and from every voice that would forbid what You have blessed. Grant him wisdom for tomorrow without anxious care, daily bread, and strength to provide for a household to Your glory. Grant repentance where it is needed, and bring reconciliation in Your time, that he may again find fellowship among Your people with joy. Lead him to live only a day at a time under Your will, content to say, Keep me, guide me, hold me Lord, just for today. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Advocate and Healer, who alone can save and restore. Amen.