Pray for this

[Dexter2020]

I am writing this letter to inform that I am stepping away from ### for the time being. I cannot find God in the midst of this environment, and until these matters are addressed and repentance takes place from the mentor, I will remain away. Instead of receiving encouragement, I have experienced condescension, belittlement, and inappropriate interference from my mentor. Specifically, my mentor repeatedly pressured me to give up my profession as a ###, demanding that I step down to work in food and beverage or as a plumber under the guise that it was "God's will." Human will must not be masked as God's will, nor should people be forcefully told to act as unfaithful servants of the parable just to fulfil someone else's agenda. These demands ignore my immediate concerns, such as my ability to earn a living and afford to start a family. What is constantly masked as Christian "humility" is, in reality, systemic reductionism and humiliation that disregards real-world livelihoods and economic survival. And also undermine my confidence in God and Jesus. If my mentor is truly of God, he will encourage me to continue to find in the ### or ### kind of role instead of asking me to reduce to food and Beverage or plumber. It reflected that he does not even trust God in the first place. If he trusted God / Jesus such rearrangement and reduction would not have occurred. But I also noted that people might have flaws and sin, so wait until his sins is corrected then I will return and I have forgiven him just that I do not want to be influence by his lack of faith. Moreover, his ideology seemed to differs from what the bible actually stated the following scripture can attest for it: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."— Matthew 6:34 "The Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth." – 1 Timothy 4:1–3 "He also who had received the one talent came, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.'" - Matthew 25:14–30 His guidance is that I can’t provide for the family because of temporary setback and have to give up on what God had actually instituted to fulfil his “God will” where it is human will and cannot start a family where marriage is actually a gift from God. I am stepping back until this is sorted out and corrected, at which point I will returned. Until then, I am protecting my peace, my livelihood, and my well-being. Please pray and ask God to rectify this before I can come back to church.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart in this and we join with you in prayer, asking God to bring clarity, peace and restoration where there has been hurt and confusion.

What you have described is a misuse of spiritual authority and we agree that human will must never be masked as God's will. A true shepherd does not use condescension, belittlement or coercion, for scripture says, Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, not by constraint, but willingly, not for dishonest gain, but willingly, neither as lording it over those entrusted to you, but making yourselves examples to the flock, 1 Peter 5:2-3. And, Test the spirits, whether they are of God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world, 1 John 4:1. You are right to test what was spoken over you against the Word of God.

We also affirm what you have discerned about work, provision and family. Your desire to earn a living and to prepare to start a family is not unspiritual, it is biblical and honorable. Scripture says, But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever, 1 Timothy 5:8. And, Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, Colossians 3:23. There is no biblical principle that demands a person abandon the lawful profession God has equipped them for to prove humility by taking a lower paying role under pressure. Food and beverage work and plumbing are honest and dignified callings, but to be pressured into them under the guise of God's will when God has gifted you differently is not humility, it is control. You quoted the parable of the talents rightly, for God expects us to steward what He has entrusted to us, not to bury it out of fear. The master in Matthew 25:14-30 rebuked the servant who hid his talent, and we are called to use our gifts faithfully for His glory.

We also agree that marriage and family are gifts from God to be embraced, not forbidden or delayed by man made rules. As you noted, the Spirit warns that in later times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth, 1 Timothy 4:1-3. And you are right to cling to Jesus words, Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's evil is sufficient for itself, Matthew 6:34, trusting God for provision day by day while diligently working with your hands as He provides.

We commend you for choosing forgiveness while also setting a healthy boundary. For scripture says, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32. Forgiveness does not require remaining under harmful influence or false teaching. It is wise to protect your peace and your walk with Christ from a lack of faith that undermines your confidence in God and Jesus. At the same time we gently encourage you not to remain isolated from the body of Christ for long, for we are warned, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, Hebrews 10:25. Stepping back from that specific environment until repentance and correction take place may be necessary, but we pray you will remain connected to sound fellowship elsewhere where you can be encouraged, where your gifts are affirmed and where marriage and family are honored as God intends.

We pray together for you and for your mentor.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, who is our only mediator and hope. We thank You for this dear one who loves You and wants to follow Your true will, not the will of man. Lord, we ask You to heal the wounds of condescension and belittlement, and to restore confidence and joy in You. Give clear discernment and peace about work and calling, and provide open doors to continue in the profession You have gifted, so that provision for a future family and faithful stewardship of talents may continue for Your glory. Guard this heart from anxiety and lead daily with Your wisdom.

We pray also for the mentor, that You would bring conviction where there has been pride or control, and grant repentance that leads to truth. Let any teaching that does not align with Your Word be corrected, and let true humility and encouragement replace humiliation. We ask that You rectify this situation in the church, bring accountability, and make it a place again where You can be found and worshiped in spirit and truth.

Lord, keep this one close to Jesus, rooted in Your Word, and connected to a healthy fellowship that preaches Christ crucified and risen. May marriage, when You provide a godly spouse, be entered into with joy as You designed, for He who finds a wife finds favor, and obtains favor of Yahweh, Proverbs 18:22, and marriage is to be held in honor among all, Hebrews 13:4. We trust Your good plans and ask for restoration in Your perfect timing. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to continue to bring Your concerns to God in prayer, to stay in the Word daily, and to seek counsel from mature, biblically grounded believers outside that immediate circle who can speak truth with grace. If the Lord opens a door to return after repentance and correction, we pray you will do so with wisdom, but until then, remain steadfast in Christ, knowing that God sees your diligence, your desire to provide, and your heart to honor Him.

 

[Pammy1]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[hostadmin]

We appreciate you writing so honestly about what you have been carrying. It is painful when a mentoring relationship that should encourage you leaves you feeling belittled and pressured, especially when your livelihood and your hope to provide for a future family are treated as unimportant.

We understand why you have stepped back for a time. Wanting to protect your peace, your ability to provide, and your confidence in Jesus while still forgiving the person who hurt you is a thoughtful and mature response. It makes sense to separate your trust in the Lord from one person's flawed guidance, and to wait for healthier patterns before returning.

While you are away, it can help not to walk this alone. Staying connected with one or two steady believers outside that mentoring relationship who respect both your faith and your practical responsibilities can keep you grounded and give you clearer perspective as you discern next steps. When you feel ready, putting your concerns calmly in writing for a pastor or elder you trust can also help keep things clear without further confrontation.

Father, in Jesus' name we lift this situation to You. We ask for Your peace to guard this heart, for Your provision for daily needs and for work that honors You and sustains life, for healing where confidence has been shaken and wisdom for every decision ahead. Work also in the mentor's heart and lead the church toward truth and health in Your timing. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your letter has been heard with much care and sorrow, and we have carried your burden before the Lord in prayer. You have spoken plainly of a wound received within the house of friends, where what was called the will of God has felt to you like the will of man pressing heavily upon your conscience, your livelihood and your hope of marriage and family. Such things ought not to be, and it is right that you should test all counsel by the Word of God.

There is a great difference between the sovereign will of God which saves and keeps His people, and the presumptuous claim of a man who puts his own desire forward as though it were divine. The Scripture teaches that salvation and the new birth and the keeping of the saints rest upon the will of God, and that when the Spirit works He changes the human will and makes men willing in the day of His power, so that the neck once stiff as iron bows cheerfully and gladly to Christ. That work is never a work of condescension or belittlement or the breaking of a man's lawful calling. A calling that is truly heavenly is a calling from heaven as well as to heaven, not of man but of God, and it lifts the heart toward holiness and eternity rather than crushing it with confusion. The sheep of Christ know His voice, and a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him, for they know not the voice of strangers. When any voice demands that you bury the talent God has entrusted to you, or that you despise the honest work by which you would provide for a household, that voice is not the Shepherd's.

The Word you have quoted is sound and well applied. Our Lord bids us not to be anxious for tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own, and He would have us live a day at a time under His guiding hand. The apostle warns that in later times some will depart from the faith giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines that forbid marriage and require abstinence from what God created to be received with thanksgiving, and we must never call holy what God calls good. Marriage is indeed a gift of God, and provision for a family is a duty laid upon a man, and honest labour in the sphere where God has placed you is no unfaithfulness. The parable of the talents does not teach a servant to hide his talent in the ground out of fear, nor to throw it away at another's bidding, but to be faithful and diligent with what the Master has given, that he may hear at last, Well done. True humility before God never requires systemic humiliation or the disregard of your ability to earn a living. All things are under regulation and have an appointed place in God's plan, yet His revealed will is that we walk in faith, diligence and love, and we must not even wish for gain except as we can promote His will by getting it.

We commend the grace you have shown in forgiving the one who has grieved you, even while you wisely seek space lest you be influenced by unbelief and lack of faith. To forgive is Christlike, and to guard your peace and well being while seeking clearer light is not unfaithful. Yet we would gently urge you not to let the failure of one man keep you long from the communion of the saints. The Church is not a mere corporation framed by the wit of man, but a people designed by God in eternity, and the Lord has promised, I will never leave you nor forsake you, and, I the Lord do keep it, I will water it every moment. There are seasons when a soul must step aside from a particular oversight for a time, but seek meanwhile the fellowship of faithful brethren, the preaching of the Word, and the prayers of the Church, that your confidence in God and in Christ may be restored and strengthened.

We will pray for you, and for your mentor also, that the Lord will bring honest conviction where it is needed and healing where there has been wounding. We ask the Lord to rectify what is amiss, to make His own will plain to you, to establish you in the lawful calling wherein He has set you, and to provide for you the means to labour faithfully and, in His time, to take up the holy estate of marriage for His glory. We pray that He will send His Word and heal and deliver, and that He will teach all who counsel to speak only as the echo of Christ's own voice.

May the Lord hear your cry and answer you, for He has said, He shall call upon me and I will answer him. May He give you a new heart and keep you night and day, till you are restored to joyful fellowship and to fruitful service, doing with your might what your hand finds to do for Him who has loved you and washed you in His blood. We commit you to His mercy and His faithful keeping, and we will continue to bear you up before the throne of grace.