We hear the pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache for the hurt you are carrying. It is clear that you feel abandoned, unsupported, and deeply disappointed—not just in circumstances, but in what you perceive as unmet promises. We want to acknowledge the raw honesty of your struggle, for it is better to wrestle with God in truth than to pretend all is well when it is not. The psalmists, prophets, and even Jesus Himself cried out in moments of despair, asking where God was in their suffering. You are not alone in this feeling, and your anger does not disqualify you from His love.
However, we must gently but firmly address the posture of your heart before the Lord. You have laid out conditions for God, demanding proof of His love through specific outcomes—an open door for a job, a relationship—before you will consider returning to Him. This is a dangerous reversal of roles. God is not a cosmic vending machine, nor is He obligated to perform on our timetable. He is the Creator, the Sustainer, and the Holy One, and we are called to trust Him—not test Him. Jesus Himself rebuked Satan for this very temptation when He said, *"You shall not test the Lord, your God"* (Matthew 4:7 WEB). Your ultimatum risks turning faith into a transaction, where love is earned rather than received as a gift.
You mention stepping away from the Bible, church, and prayer, and this grieves us deeply. The Bible is not just a book of promises; it is the living Word of God, sharper than any two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12 WEB), capable of piercing the hardest of hearts. Church is not a building or a social club; it is the body of Christ, where broken people find healing and truth in community. Prayer is not a last resort; it is the lifeline between the Creator and His beloved creation. Walking away from these does not punish God—it cuts you off from the very sources of hope, wisdom, and comfort He provides. *"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways," says Yahweh. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts"* (Isaiah 55:8-9 WEB). His ways are higher, and His timing is perfect, even when we cannot see it.
You demand a girlfriend as proof of God’s love, but this reveals a misunderstanding of His design for relationships. The Bible does not promise us romantic partners on demand; it calls us to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33 WEB). A godly marriage is a blessing, not a right, and it must be pursued in alignment with His will—not as a test of His faithfulness. Pursuing a relationship outside of His timing or design will only lead to further heartache. We must also warn you that any sexual relationship outside of marriage is fornication, a sin that grieves the heart of God (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 WEB). If you are seeking a girlfriend with the expectation of physical intimacy before marriage, you are not seeking God’s best for you.
As for the job, we understand the desperation of waiting for provision. But God’s provision is not always immediate, nor does it always come in the form we expect. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, yet God provided manna daily. He did not give them the Promised Land on their timetable, but He never abandoned them. *"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:19 WEB). This is a promise, but it is not a guarantee that He will meet our demands on our schedule. His "no" or "not yet" is often a protection, not a punishment.
Most critically, we must address the absence of Jesus in your ultimatum. You mention "God" and "the Bible," but you do not acknowledge the name that is above every name—the name of Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6 WEB). There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12 WEB). Salvation is not found in a job, a relationship, or even in the Bible itself—it is found in the person of Jesus Christ, who died for your sins and rose again so that you might have eternal life. Without Him, there is no reconciliation with God. *"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life"* (John 3:16 WEB). This is the ultimate proof of His love—not a job or a girlfriend, but the sacrifice of His Son.
We do not rebuke you out of judgment, but out of love. Your pain is real, and your questions are valid, but your response is leading you down a path of isolation and bitterness. The enemy would love nothing more than to use your disappointment to pull you away from the very One who can heal your heart. We urge you to lay down your conditions and come before God with humility. Repent of the pride that says, *"I will not return until You meet my demands."* Instead, ask Him to reveal Himself to you in a new way. Ask Him to show you where you may have misunderstood His promises or misplaced your trust in outcomes rather than in Him.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is hurting. Lord, You see the pain, the anger, and the confusion in his words. You know the depths of his disappointment, and You long to draw him close. Father, we ask that You would break through the walls of bitterness and reveal Yourself to him in a tangible way. Remind him that You are near to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18 WEB).
Lord, we repent on his behalf for the pride that has crept into his heart, for the demands he has placed on You, and for the ways he has sought to test You rather than trust You. Forgive him, Father, and soften his heart. Help him to see that Your love is not proven by jobs or relationships, but by the cross of Jesus Christ. Open his eyes to the truth that salvation is found in no one else, and that apart from You, there is no hope.
We pray for provision, not as a test, but as a reminder of Your faithfulness. Provide the job he needs, Lord, but more importantly, provide the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB). If it is Your will, bring a godly spouse into his life at the right time, but first, draw him into a deeper relationship with You. Surround him with believers who can speak truth into his life and model the love of Christ. Restore his faith, Lord, not because he has earned it, but because You are gracious and merciful.
We rebuke the spirit of offense and bitterness that seeks to keep him distant from You. We declare that he is not abandoned, for You have said, *"I will never leave you nor forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5 WEB). Let that truth sink deep into his soul. May he encounter Your presence in a fresh way, and may he find the strength to return to You with a contrite heart.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name that is above every name, the name by which we are saved. Amen.
We encourage you to reconsider your steps. Do not walk away from the very One who can heal your wounds. The Bible is not just a book of rules; it is the story of a God who pursues His children, even when they turn away. Church is not a place of perfection; it is a hospital for sinners. Prayer is not a last resort; it is the breath of the believer. Return to these things, not out of obligation, but out of a desire to know the God who loves you more than you can imagine.
If you are willing, start small. Open the Bible to the book of John and read about the life of Jesus. Talk to Him, not with demands, but with honesty. Tell Him how you feel, and ask Him to meet you where you are. Seek out a Bible-believing church where you can find community and truth. You are not alone in this journey, and we are praying for your restoration.
