Our hearts ache deeply for the suffering you, your daughter, and your grandchildren are enduring under this abusive and ungodly situation. The Lord sees every tear, hears every cry, and is grieved by the wickedness being inflicted upon His children. Let us first address the spiritual and biblical foundations of this matter, for we know that God’s Word is the lamp unto our feet and the light unto our path.
The behavior of your son-in-law is not only emotionally destructive but is in direct rebellion against God’s design for marriage and fatherhood. Scripture is clear about the role of a husband: *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:25). A husband is called to nourish and cherish his wife (Ephesians 5:29), not to tear her down, manipulate her, or accuse her falsely. His actions are not those of a man who fears God but of one who is controlled by his own sinful desires. The Bible warns us about such men: *"For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good, traitors, headstrong, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; holding a form of godliness, but having denied its power. Turn away from these, also"* (2 Timothy 3:2-5). Your son-in-law’s claim to be a Christian while living in such hypocrisy is a grave offense before the Lord. Jesus Himself warned, *"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. By their fruits you will know them"* (Matthew 7:15-16). His fruits are not of repentance, love, or humility but of deceit, cruelty, and pride.
We must also address the sin of adultery and emotional infidelity in his life. The Lord commands, *"You shall not commit adultery"* (Exodus 20:14), and Jesus expanded this to include lustful intentions of the heart (Matthew 5:28). His unfaithfulness is an abomination before God and has brought brokenness into your daughter’s life. His refusal to discipline the children in a godly manner is another failure, for Scripture instructs fathers to *"bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord"* (Ephesians 6:4). Instead, he has allowed them to grow wild and undisciplined, which will only bring more sorrow in the future.
To your daughter, we say this: The Lord does not desire for you to live in bondage to this abuse. You are not crazy, and you are not the problem—your husband’s sin is the problem. God’s Word says, *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). He sees your pain, and He longs for you to find refuge in Him. You must seek the Lord with all your heart and ask Him for wisdom, strength, and a way of escape. The Bible tells us that *"God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13). This does not mean you must endure abuse indefinitely—it means God will provide a way out. We urge you to seek godly counsel, whether from a pastor who will stand for truth or a Christian organization that helps women in abusive situations. You are not alone, and you do not have to suffer in silence.
The arrival of another child complicates this situation, but it does not change God’s heart for you. He loves you and your children, and He desires for you to be in a safe and godly environment. We pray that the Lord will give you clarity on the steps to take—whether that involves separation for safety, biblical confrontation of your husband’s sin, or seeking legal protection. Whatever you do, do it in dependence on the Lord and in obedience to His Word.
To you, dear mother, we say this: Your anger toward your son-in-law is understandable, but we must not allow bitterness to take root in our hearts. The Bible warns, *"Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil"* (Ephesians 4:26-27). Your hatred, though justified by the wickedness you’ve witnessed, can become a stronghold for the enemy if not surrendered to God. Instead, we are called to *"be angry, and don’t sin"* (Psalm 4:4). Pray for your son-in-law—not because he deserves it, but because God commands us to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Pray that the Lord would break his heart of stone, convict him of his sin, and bring him to true repentance. Pray that if he refuses to repent, the Lord would expose his deeds and protect your daughter and grandchildren from further harm. Trust that vengeance belongs to the Lord (Romans 12:19), and He will deal with your son-in-law justly.
We also encourage you to continue being a godly influence in the lives of your grandchildren. Though their behavior is chaotic now, your love, prayers, and biblical discipline (when possible) can plant seeds of truth in their hearts. Teach them about Jesus, read Scripture to them, and model Christlike love and patience. The Lord can use you to break the cycle of sin in their lives.
Finally, we must address the absence of the name of Jesus in your request. There is no greater name by which we can approach the throne of God. Jesus Himself said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6). It is only through faith in Christ that we have access to the Father and the power to overcome the evil in this world. If you or your daughter have not yet surrendered your lives to Jesus, we urge you to do so today. Confess your sins, believe that Jesus died for you and rose again, and invite Him to be your Lord and Savior. There is no hope apart from Him, but in Him, there is victory over every scheme of the enemy.
Now, let us pray together for this situation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this broken and painful situation. Lord, You see the tears of this mother, the suffering of her daughter, and the confusion of these precious grandchildren. You are not blind to the wickedness being committed in secret, nor are You deaf to the cries of the oppressed. We ask You, Lord, to intervene mightily.
Father, we pray for this daughter who is trapped in an abusive marriage. Strengthen her, Lord, and remind her that she is not defined by the lies of her husband. Break the chains of manipulation and gaslighting that have bound her mind. Give her clarity, wisdom, and courage to seek help—whether through godly counsel, legal protection, or a safe place to flee. Surround her with people who will speak truth into her life and support her in righteousness. Lord, we ask that You would expose the deeds of darkness in this marriage and bring conviction upon her husband. If he refuses to repent, Lord, we pray that You would remove his influence over her and the children. Protect her from further harm, and provide for her every need as she seeks to honor You.
We pray for these grandchildren, Lord. They are growing up in a home filled with strife and confusion. Father, we ask that You would shield their hearts from the damage being done. Raise up godly influences in their lives—people who will teach them Your ways and show them what true love looks like. Give their grandmother wisdom as she seeks to be a light in their lives. Break the generational curses at work in this family, and let Your redemption flow mightily.
Lord, we also pray for this mother who is witnessing this abuse daily. Father, guard her heart from bitterness and hatred. Fill her with Your peace and Your love, even in the midst of this storm. Give her the words to speak to her daughter and grandchildren that will point them to You. Strengthen her faith, Lord, and remind her that You are sovereign over all things.
Finally, Father, we pray for this son-in-law. Though his actions are wicked, we ask that You would have mercy on his soul. Convict him deeply of his sin, Lord. Bring him to a place of true repentance, where he falls on his knees before You and turns from his wicked ways. If he hardens his heart, Lord, we pray that You would remove his ability to harm this family. Expose his hypocrisy, Lord, and let the truth be known.
We rebuked the spirits of deception, manipulation, and abuse that are at work in this situation. We declare that no weapon formed against this family shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We plead the blood of Jesus over this home and ask that You, Lord, would bring healing, restoration, and deliverance.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.