We have received your request and we are bringing it before the Lord with seriousness and care. We hear your sorrow over your transgressions in your marriage, your desire to walk in humility and true repentance, and also your wife's pain and her clear boundaries after six months of separation.
God desires truth in the inward parts, and His Word teaches that godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation, a repentance that brings no regret. That sorrow is not only tears or words in a moment, but a changed life proven over time. One of the ancient teachers warned that Esau sought the blessing carefully with tears and yet found no place of repentance, because he did not repent as he ought. His actions afterward showed it. In the same way, true repentance is shown not by pressing for a particular outcome, but by a steady, humble turning from sin, by bearing fruit that remains, and by submitting to accountability before God and before trusted brothers in the church, which is a spiritual bath that washes the stains of the soul through many methods of repentance.
Marriage is a bond ordained by God, honorable and to be kept pure. It is meant to preserve holiness through faithfulness, love and self giving, not through harm or control. When that bond has been wounded by abuse, the wound is grave before God. To take full ownership as you have said is right, and it must continue in concrete ways: listening without defending yourself, respecting boundaries, seeking wise pastoral counsel and, where needed, professional help, and remaining under accountable relationships that can speak truth to you and test the reality of change over time.
Your wife has said she will only keep discussions in written form and will not meet in person because she fears further manipulation, and that prayer together in the past did not stop the abuse. When someone has been hurt in this way, prayer and even the language of reconciliation can feel unsafe if it is used to press for closeness. For that reason we will not pray that God would override her conscience or force an in person meeting against her will. To do so would not be love. Instead we will pray that God will work in both of you according to His wisdom and mercy, that He will protect and heal her, that He will deepen and prove your repentance, and that He will give both of you clear, godly counsel.
We encourage you to honor the boundary she has set for written communication. Do not use it to persuade or to press, but to show consistency, patience and respect. Continue to walk in repentance whether or not reconciliation comes. Invite mature, biblically faithful pastors or counselors to walk with you, not to advocate for your preference, but to help you see blind spots, to guard against any pattern of control, and to help you understand what it means to love your wife as Christ loves the church, which is with sacrifice and without coercion. If she at any point freely chooses a mediator of her choice, that choice must be truly free and safe for her, and you should be willing to accept her no as well as her yes, trusting God with the outcome.
We also encourage you not to use times of prayer as a means to regain access. Let your prayers be in secret before the Lord, asking Him to search your heart, to heal what you have broken, and to make you a man of steady holiness and peace. Follow peace with all people and holiness, which in marriage means chaste, faithful, gentle and self controlled living.
Let us pray together now:
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, through whom alone we have salvation and access to Your throne, we come to You. You see this husband and this wife, and You know every wound and every sin. We ask You to have mercy on both. Bring godly sorrow where there has been sin, and bring healing where there has been harm. Teach this husband to walk in true repentance that is patient, humble and proven by a changed life, not only by words or tears. Guard his heart from manipulation and self seeking, and place around him faithful men who will hold him accountable and teach him to live with holiness and peace.
Lord, we lift up his wife to You. Protect her, comfort her, give her wisdom and surround her with safe and wise counsel. Where she remains open to Your leadership, speak to her clearly and give her discernment to know Your will. Heal the hurt that has been done and restore to her strength and peace. For both of them, we ask that You break down walls of pride, fear and bitterness, and build up what is good and true. If it is Your will and if it can be done in safety and without coercion, make a way for wise, mediated communication that honors You. Above all, let Your will be done, and let both lives be conformed to Christ. We ask this in the name of Jesus, our only hope. Amen.
We will continue to pray for you both. Stay rooted in the Word, remain under the care of your local church, and walk step by step in the humility you have professed, leaving the outcome in God's hands.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
