The request is for a wife, and it is right and scriptural for a man to seek a helpmeet from the Lord. I shall indeed lift this matter before the throne of grace, yet I would not have you imagine that the obtaining of a godly spouse is a thing to be wrested from heaven by importunity alone, as though God were unwilling and must be entreated. Consider the miracle of the loaves: Christ is not only grand in emergencies, but He displays His power spontaneously, without pressing or prompting. He knows your need before you ask. The path of wisdom is to commit your way unto Him, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass, not by carnal scheming, but by a quiet confidence that the Maker of marriage will in His time provide.
Yet I must observe that there runs through your petition a certain feverish anxiety. You would have a woman who will not give up on you until you are hers and she is yours, and you plead for miracles. Be as practical as Poor Richard counsels, and then be as spiritual as Christ commands. A man may be earnest, yet too much haste can betray a want of rest in God. Do you not see that the Miracle Worker does nothing but speak, and it is done? His word is sufficient. You need not clamour for signs and wonders; the ordering of a Christian’s steps is itself a daily miracle of providence. Pause, and consider the miracle of the loaves in your own life story, all the deliverances, the unlooked-for provisions, the sudden turns that brought you on your way. Will not He who has been with you thus far complete what He has begun, in matters of the heart also?
Now, beware of making an idol of this desire. It is no less sacred a thing to be the married wife than to be the virgin consecrated to Christ, but marriage is not the sun of our system; Christ is the Light thereof. If you seek a wife first for companionship or comfort, you may miss the higher prize. Seek first the Kingdom, and let your chief delight be in the Lord. A godly woman is to be desired, for she will be a crown to her husband, but she cannot redeem a soul or still an accusing conscience. What says the miracle of the loaves? Christ shows His power spontaneously, so He will provide what is good for you without your being consumed with the matter. But if you must have a sign, look to the miracle of grace in your own heart. A Christian is a mass of miracles! When a man can say, “I was once dead in sin, but now I live,” there is a wonder that outshines the parting of seas. If the Lord has wrought that in you, then trust Him for the lesser blessing of a suitable yoke-fellow.
Stand upon your own godly sincerity. There are many who, like the stony-ground hearers, are all excitement when a prayer-meeting is warm, but when the world presses in, they wither. Examine yourself, lest you seek a wife only to fill some emptiness that Christ alone should occupy. The touchstone of godly sincerity is not in ecstatic petitions, but in plodding obedience. Are you walking practically in the commandments? Are you faithful in your calling, temperate in speech, upright in dealings? That is the man that a gracious woman can respect. And remember the teaching from a godly father and mother: their principles are a lamp to the feet. If you have such a heritage, follow the road they walked. Do not deviate into the by-paths of modern folly, where men would rush ahead of Providence and then call the disaster a mystery. The way of the Lord is strength to the upright.
I would also have you consider that the miracle of mercy in the Saviour’s hand is not dependent upon anything in man. You may plead, “Pray that she will not give up on me,” but oh, see that you do not throw the burden of your perseverance upon another. It is by the grace of God that any saint endures. If the Lord sends her, He will sustain the bond, but look first to your own steadfastness in Christ. The love of Jesus, when it breaks upon the soul, makes wife and friends and all earthly ties seem as nothing in comparison; yet it is that very love that enables a man to cherish his family with a holy tenderness. One of the noblest resolves that ever mortal uttered was, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” Let that be your posture: trust in the Lord, though He delay, though He seem to deny, though He give no miraculous sign. The power of Christ to rescue from sin does not lie in the person saved, it lies wholly in Jesus Himself. So with this choice of a partner: rest upon His power to guide, and do not fret as though the outcome depended upon your own maneuvering.
Then, you ask for practical ways to get to know her. Here, be neither idle nor impetuous. The book of Proverbs is full of practical maxims; a wise man will put himself in the paths where godly women may be found, not in the ballroom or the theatre, but among the household of faith, in service, in the quiet assemblies of the saints. Do you not think that Ruth was found in the field, not in the dance? Boaz was about his business when he took notice of her. Be employed for the Master, and you may find that the Lord has a fellow-laborer appointed for you. Yet let not this become a carnal device; pray, then walk humbly, and let your deportment speak of one who is not desperate but delighting himself in God.
I will pray that the Lord sends you a woman truly interested in you, not in your position or prospects, but in your character and your Christ. But oh, that you may be a man who will not wear out the patience of a saint! Be such a one as she might reverence, full of the fear of the Lord, sober, gentle, yet firm. I have seen a father’s face lined with grief over a wayward son; may your life bring no such sorrow, but rather a continuance of godliness to the next generation. One of the intense longings of every righteous heart is to see a succession of the faithful. If you would have a wife worthy of the name, be yourself a man whose record brings not a blush to the cheek of Christ’s church.
Finally, do not demand a miracle where a providence will suffice. The Lord may bring her to you by the ordinary commerce of life, by an introduction from a trusted friend, by a shared labor in the gospel. The miracle is not in the mode but in the match when two souls are fused by the Holy Ghost into one. When the time comes, you will wonder at the simplicity of it, and call it a miracle of love. Until then, let the fear of the Lord be your confidence. He that believeth shall not make haste. I shall pray that when the answer comes, you may with joy say, “This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” The Lord bless thee, and keep thy heart fixed upon Him who is altogether lovely.