Pray for me, Read my Story, It will give you hope..

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t.ryan1981

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I don't know if many of you are familiar with the pain that I have endured mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But I have been engaged in a spiritual battle since May 25th.

### left me because of my sins of the past that must gotten the best of her. 5 years of Lust, Arrogance, Pride, Deceit, Alcohol, and Lies. At first I was open to her leaving me, but I found myself spiraling into sadness, hurt, loneliness, and I couldn't get out of it. I didn't understand it, but little by little during my tear-filled nights and days God revealed a prayer that I had made 5 years ago:

I prayed that the woman that I settled down with would be a woman that needed to be rescued from something, and that I could be all that I could be for GOD. I prayed for God to give me a loving partner for a gift.

### came to me very soon after, she was apart of a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. I revealed some information to her to guide her closer to Christ. And I noticed that me and her together overcame many trials and tribulations and gained many victories through Christ Jesus than I can explain for now. But as time went on, my Godly life began to darken and fall.

I began to think more about myself than her, and GOD. I put myself on a throne and allowed others to exalt me over her. BELIEVERS as well as NON-Believers. I chose to do so many Disgusting Sins, and Dark deeds in the eyes of a Christian, but deemed "Normal" for a 20-something AFRICAN-AMERICAN MALE. I began to tell others that I would never feel ashamed if ### chose to leave me, because I would get another one to replace her.

I lost appreciation for her as my gift. God tried to warn me several times, as she caught me doing some of my dirt. But she would forgive me, and I would go right back to the same old.

After I remembered my request from God, I prayed to the Lord and promised to change for the good. ### began to spend time with me again up until June 28 when I was tempted by Satan to sleep with a loose WOMAN that was a Believer. Immediately, ### and I had a roadblock, almost supernatural. July 1st: ### told me she was moving to New Jersey.

I wept uncontrollably, and began fasting from July 4th to July 6th. She returned to me on good terms, and we built up a friendly relationship. We held hands and kissed. I saw God's hands move. And then my birthday happened.

July 31st, I drank too much and partied. An old female acquaintance appeared to me around 3 AM and offered to go home with me. I jumped at the chance, I took her to my apartment, and then I passed out without sexual intercourse. I thought that I was safe from the repercussions of sin. But I realized that I had attempted, and in my mind I had SINNED.

August 3, ### tells me that she met a male-friend in New Jersey and that she would be moving.

I was devastated. But I realized, I had a true battle on my hands, and my faith was in God, not ###. I fasted for 4 days, prayed constantly, meditated on the word of God. It has been painful but I know God is with me. And now I truly understand that I am turning my back on my sins of the past. As long as I breathe, I will not fall for the temptation that is waiting for me. I will be the man that God called me to be. And I will bless others, as a servant and not be the spoiled brat.

On August 15, ### accompanied me to a romantic incline ride, and later on that night told me that she would not be moving to New Jersey. My battle is still in effect, as me and her are not together, but God has shown me that obedience will grant me anything that I ask of him. Because he is our Father.

So to all of you Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Hold fast in your faith. ENDURE this hardship. As I am aching now, and I still push through with prayer and faith. We Will make it. If you have doubt, look at my story and see that I am living because of GOD'S MERCY and COMPASSION.

Bless you ALL! :)
 
Almighty God,

Eternal Father,

You have everything in Your hands. I ask for mercy and compassion for my ###. May his testimony bring others to Your Kingdom. Please give him a passion for You and Your word in the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen.
 
Father, it is so hard to reveal our shortcomings and disappointments. I thank You for ###'s willingness to share his most daunting times. I also praise You for allowing him to come to the realization that he had drifted from You, taken control of the things that were rightfully Yours. I praise You for the way in which he has watched and listened for Your leading, for his desire to turn things around, for his admission that although not perfect, he is striving to be the man You intend for him to be. Please guide ### and ### on this journey - give them honesty and trust, faith and hope, courage and strength to walk through all that is to come, together, with You right in the center. I thank You for the reminders this testimony brought to me in my daily walk as well. In the name of Jesus, may we take this and live our lives to Your glory. Amen.
 
Lord thank u for revelation even m in same situation thank u Jesus I will fast and meditate in ur word thank u Lord in JESUS name I ask AMEN!
 
Lord Jesus, confession may be good for the soul but it is the hardest and most difficult thing we have to do. I thank you for my brother's life, for your hand upon it even when he didn't know it was happening, even during his darkest hours. You are so worthy, Lord. I ask that you cover ### with your mercy and grace, that the things he shared with us were forgiven by you and forgotten. As you cleansed his heart and made him whole again, you gave him back his freedom. I thank you and praise you for that. I ask your will upon his life, that you would draw him close and be his central command center.

May his mate find forgiveness and together may they overcome the obstacles placed by the enemy, may they kick them out of the way and find true love and happiness in each other. Help my brother to never take ### for granted again. Let them cling together and may the rest of their days be in service to you. Glory to God! Amen
 
Thank you very much ### for sharing your story. I know that God would see you through victoriously. Amen
 
Thank you ### for your willingness to share, the Grace and mercy that GOD has give you. You are truly a man of GOD.
 
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