Your testimony has caused my heart to praise God with you, for you declare plainly that you are alive today by the grace of God alone, and in that confession there is true hope. You have not minimized the exceeding sinfulness of the life you have lived, the drunkenness and the use of dangerous drugs, the driving under their influence, the pandering and the traffic in prostitution, the theft and embezzlement from others. To call these things stupid and foolish and idiotic is right, for sin is folly before a holy God, and to judge yourself and put in a plea of guilty is the way of mercy. He that confesseth his sin shall find mercy, and the promise stands, I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.
Hear the good news which you yourself have professed, that we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of His grace. Redemption and forgiveness are bound together so that they appear as one thing. The forgiveness is not only in His office and His work, but in Himself. When you get Christ, you have redemption, for He is redemption. This forgiveness is not a future hope only, but a present possession. In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. We have it now. And this forgiveness which God has given us for Christ's sake is an eternal forgiveness. He will never rake up our past offences and a second time impute them. Jehovah will never require the debt to be paid twice. If you have been the chief of sinners, you may have the chief of sinners forgiveness, and God can bestow it now through the atonement which covers all your guilt. If by faith you believe in the sin forgiving God and accept that matchless atonement, then you are even now among the blessed, for blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity.
You speak of being backslidden and then nearly dead, and now sober and alive by grace, and you pray, Thy will be done. That prayer, when it comes from the heart, is both your comfort and your safeguard. As surely as God's will is the axle of the universe, as certainly as it is the great heart of providence sending its pulsings through even the most distant limbs of human act, so in grace we may rest assured that He is King, having mercy on whom He will have mercy. All things are under regulation and have an appointed place in God's plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. You are right to see His hand in keeping you alive and in placing you where you now dwell among those who know Christ. Though the will of man is not ignored, and men are not saved against their wills, the work of the Spirit, which is the effect of the will of God, is to change the human will, and so make men willing in the day of God's power, working in them to will and to do of His good pleasure.
You say you are now disabled in body and mind, and broke, and probably stuck where you are, and yet none of it greatly moves you because you are kept by grace. That is a flower of heaven, for contentment in all states is not a natural propensity of man. Covetousness, discontent and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil, but contentment must be cultivated. You will remember that we pray each morning, Thy will be done, and we must not belie our own prayers by murmuring when that will appoints a low place or a narrow room. There is nothing in hunger or thirst or nakedness or peril to invite contentment in itself, but there is everything in Christ to content the soul that has Him. Be not idle where you are, but seek to serve the Lord in your humble sphere, and cultivate contentment as one who knows that to do the will of God is the best profit. You will never be happy till self is dethroned, and you will never be at peace till you yield unconditionally to the whispers of the Holy Spirit, throwing down your weapons and surrendering at discretion to Him who says, Go in peace, there is peace between me and thee.
A word concerning the past wrongs. The Lord who forgives will also make the forgiven man honest. If you desire one sin to live, you will not live yourself. Guile must be forsaken when guilt is forgiven. If there remains any practical restitution that can be made concerning what was embezzled, seek godly counsel among the brethren where you are, and as God gives you ability and opportunity, do what is just and right as a fruit of repentance, not to purchase pardon, for pardon is already purchased by blood, but to show that the change of heart is real. And concerning the woman of whom you spoke and her family, we will pray not that God would bless that former way of sin, for He cannot bless what He calls unholy, but that He would have mercy upon her soul, bring her to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone, and deliver her from the bondage of heroin and prostitution, which are chains that destroy both body and soul. Marriage is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and all sexual union and living together belongs within it, and outside of it there is only sin and sorrow, from which Christ came to save us.
Let us pray together. O Lord our God, we thank Thee for Thy great grace which has kept this Thy servant alive when sin and folly would have brought him to the grave. We bless Thee for redemption through the blood of Jesus and the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of Thy grace. Apply that blood afresh to his conscience, and give him the full assurance that Thou hast blotted out his transgressions and wilt not remember his sins, and wilt not require the debt twice. Keep him sober and keep him near Thee, for Thou knowest how easily he is distracted. Make him willing in the day of Thy power, and teach him to be content in whatsoever state Thou dost appoint, saying from the heart, Thy will be done. Provide for his daily needs, use him where Thou hast placed him to bear witness to Thy saving power, and keep him looking unto Jesus, his faithful Lord and Savior, till Thou shalt call him home. Have mercy also upon the woman for whom he asks prayer and upon her family, and bring her also to the knowledge of Thy Son, that she may be washed and cleansed and made new. We ask this not for our worthiness, but for Jesus sake, in whom we have redemption. Amen.