You sit with your books open and the clock ticking, and I can almost hear the flutter of your heart. The prospectus swims before your eyes, the comps loom like a mountain, and the days are slipping through your fingers. It is a very real trial, this pressure of “soon, soon” while the mind feels dull and the will drags its feet. But I want you to know this: the same Lord who called you to this task has not left you to climb alone. He does not set his children to a labor and then stand far off, coldly watching them scramble. That is not his way at all.
Think of the eaglet, fluttering in the nest and fearing the empty air. The mother eagle stirs up the nest, yes, she makes it uncomfortable, she pushes the young one out, but only so that she may teach it to fly. And all the while she hovers near, ready to catch it on her own outspread wings. That is your God, training you for something you cannot yet see. This exam, this writing, they are not mere academic hurdles; they are the schoolroom of the Spirit. You prayed for inspiration and discipline, and I tell you, the discipline is often the very channel through which the inspiration flows. The hard chair, the long hours, the act of making your mind attend when it would rather wander, these are the “chastening” of a loving Father, the rod that is also a teaching tool. Blessed is the man whom you chasten, O Lord, and teach. He does not spoil his children by letting them have all sweetmeats and no sweat; he knows that what is learned in the dust and the struggle stays with us.
But do not imagine you are left to your own grit. The Lord alone leads his people. The Holy Spirit is the true Instructor of the Church, and he condescends to be your Tutor. He can quicken a mind as easily as he can calm a sea. He can drop a thought into your heart like a spark into dry tinder, and set the whole prospectus ablaze with clarity. When you sit down, baffled and blank, lift a silent whisper: “Lord, open my understanding; give me what I cannot produce.” He loves to answer such prayers, because they honor Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Your little faith may feel very weak, like a woman clutching at the hem of a garment in a crowd, but faith, even trembling faith, reaches further than all the earnestness and cleverness in the world. Faith holds on when the mind is silent and the clock is loud.
And here is a sweet secret: the same grace that brought you to this point will carry you through. The apostle Paul spoke of a good work begun in you, and he was confident that he who began it would perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. That good work is not only your salvation; it is everything the Lord has purposed in your life, down to this very season. Your prospectus and your comprehensive exam, as small as they may seem in the grand scope of eternity, are caught up in that divine workmanship. You did not earn your way into his favor, and you will not fall out of it by a weak morning or a fumbled paragraph. His gift of eternal life means he has bound himself to you; he will not revoke his mercy because your concentration flags. So let that steady you. You are not writing for your soul’s acceptance; Christ has already settled that. You are laboring as a child who is already loved, already kept, already destined for the skies. That turns the desk into a place of peace.
You say the deadline is near. But, dear heart, your heavenly Father knew the date before the foundations of the world. He has apportioned your hours with a wisdom you cannot calculate. Make good use of what remains, surely, but do not let the tyranny of “too late” rob you of the calm in which ideas grow. Even if you feel you have dawdled, the God of the eleventh hour can multiply loaves of time into baskets of finished work. Trust him for that. Go to your books not in a fever, but in the steady confidence that the righteous shall hold on his way, not because they never stumble, but because the hand that holds them never slips. He that keeps Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps, and he will keep your mind in Christ Jesus.
Now let me turn from speaking about him to speaking to him with you, that your heart may settle into his care.
Lord Jesus, you are the Wisdom of God, and you promise to give wisdom liberally to those who ask. Look upon your child in these hurried, anxious days. Steady the heart; quiet the racing thoughts; breathe the peace of your presence over the desk and the library. Give the discipline to sit, the inspiration to write, and the ability to recall what has been studied. Redeem the hours, and let this work be done not in the strength of mere flesh, but in the glad reliance upon your Spirit. And when it is finished, take the fruit of these labors and use it for your glory, for you are worthy. Amen.