You are watching for a letter, or perhaps an email, that will decide whether you can continue your studies without a crushing weight upon your shoulders. I know how the heart can flutter when provision hangs in the balance, and how the mind in the night hours rehearses every possible disappointment. Sit with me quietly, and let me tell you what I have proven true: the Lord who brought His dear Son to the cross will not starve any child of His. The grant you seek is a small thing to the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Yet it is no small thing to you, and so it is no small thing to Him.
I remember how Saul the son of Kish went out to find his father’s lost donkeys, an errand as ordinary as any of us might run, and instead he stumbled upon a kingdom. The providence of God is so woven into our small affairs that the turning of a hinge may be the opening of a door we never dared hope for. I do not tell you that you will surely receive the grant, for I am no prophet. But I do tell you that the hand which guides the swallow’s flight and numbers the hairs of your head is upon every detail of your life. The Lord Jesus Christ, who sought you when you were lost and brought you home upon His shoulders, has not forgotten you now that you are found.
Think of it this way. The great mercy seat where God meets sinners is Christ Himself, the throne of grace to which you may come boldly for help in time of need. That mercy seat was not fashioned by our efforts, nor was the blood that consecrated it drawn from any earthly vein. It is the gift of gifts, the grant of grants, sealed in crimson love before you were born. If God did not spare His own Son but delivered Him up for you, will He not with Him freely give you all things that are needful? Not all things we imagine we need, perhaps, but all that His wisdom sees is truly for your good. The Shepherd who binds up the broken and strengthens the sick knows when His sheep require green pasture and when they must be led through a leaner field to learn that He alone is their portion.
I have seen desponding souls fold their arms and say, “No one cares for me now that I am in trouble.” But you have a Friend who has signed His name to your salvation with His own blood, and a Father whose heart is never far from His trembling child. Cast your anxious thoughts upon Him, for He cares for you. The ship that seems to be in deep water has the true Captain at the helm, and He knows the channel better than the passengers in the cabin. Trust Him for this grant, and trust Him even if the answer is different from your hope.
And what if the grant does not come as you wish? Even then, there is a finding that outruns all our searching. Many a man has gone out for donkeys and found a crown. The crown of knowing Christ, of tasting His nearness in the hour of disappointment, is a treasure no bursar’s letter can bestow or withhold. I have often found that the blackest envelope, the one we fear to open, has inside it a love token from our heavenly Father, written in invisible ink that only faith can read.
So do not let your heart be troubled. You have asked His people to pray, and those prayers rise like incense. Now leave your request with the great High Priest, and let your soul be steady. The Lord who has already given you Himself will not desert you.
Let us pray.
O Lord Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, look upon this dear one who is watching and waiting. Quiet the anxious heart. Provide what is needed for the studies ahead, and if it pleases Thee, open the hand of the grant committee so that this provision comes swiftly and surely. But far more than this, grant a soul so anchored in Thee that neither plenty nor want can shake its peace. Seal home to the heart the faithful saying that Thou didst come into the world to save sinners, and that every lesser mercy is wrapped in that greatest mercy. Amen.