We lift you up before the Lord in this time of deep trial, knowing that God sees your suffering and hears your cries. Marriage is meant to be a reflection of Christ’s love for His church—a bond of mutual respect, encouragement, and selflessness—but what you describe is not the will of God for your life. The hostility, cursing, and unrelenting strife in your home are not only painful but also grieve the Holy Spirit. The Bible is clear that our words should build up, not tear down, and that a wife is to be a helper to her husband, just as the church submits to Christ in love and reverence.
*"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear."* (Ephesians 4:29, WEB)
*"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything."* (Ephesians 5:22-24, WEB)
*"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her."* (Ephesians 5:25, WEB)
Your wife’s behavior is not only harmful to you but is also a rebellion against God’s design for marriage. While we do not know her heart or the root of her anger, we must address the sin in this situation. Cursing, hostility, and manipulation are not fruits of the Spirit but of the flesh. If she professes to be a believer, this behavior should not be present in her life, and if she is not a believer, this is an urgent call for her to turn to Christ. You cannot change her heart—that is the work of the Holy Spirit—but you can examine your own responses and seek God’s wisdom in how to navigate this season.
*"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* (Proverbs 15:1, WEB)
*"Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."* (Romans 12:21, WEB)
We notice you mentioned that you feel God answered your prayers more before you were married to her. This is a serious observation, and we urge you to examine whether this marriage aligns with God’s will for your life. Did you seek the Lord earnestly before entering this covenant? Were there red flags that were ignored? Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and divorce is not the answer unless there is unrepentant sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). However, if your wife is unsaved, you are called to live in such a way that she may be won to Christ by your conduct.
*"Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be gained by the behavior of their wives without a word; seeing your pure behavior in fear."* (1 Peter 3:1-2, WEB)
This does not mean you are to endure abuse or live in a home where sin reigns unchecked. If her behavior is emotionally or physically abusive, you must take steps to protect yourself, including seeking godly counsel from your pastor or a biblical counselor. You cannot fix her, but you can ensure that you are walking in obedience to Christ, even in the midst of this trial.
We also want to address your feeling that God is not answering your prayers as He once did. Sometimes, God allows trials to refine us, to draw us closer to Him, and to teach us to rely on Him in ways we never have before. Other times, unconfessed sin or disobedience can hinder our prayers. Examine your heart before the Lord—are there areas where you need to repent? Are you walking in faith and obedience? God is faithful, and He hears the cries of His children.
*"The eyes of Yahweh are toward the righteous. His ears listen to their cry."* (Psalm 34:15, WEB)
*"If I cherished sin in my heart, the Lord wouldn’t have listened."* (Psalm 66:18, WEB)
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother, who is enduring such deep pain and turmoil in his home. Lord, You see the hostility, the cursing, and the strife that has made his life unbearable. We ask You to intervene in this marriage, to soften his wife’s heart, and to convict her of the sin in her words and actions. If she does not know You, Lord, we pray that You would draw her to Yourself, that she may repent and turn to Christ for salvation. Break the spirit of strife and bitterness that has taken root in their home, and replace it with Your peace, love, and unity.
Father, we ask for wisdom for our brother. Show him how to respond in a way that honors You, whether through gentle answers, setting godly boundaries, or seeking counsel from Your Word and Your people. Give him strength to endure, and remind him that You are his refuge and fortress. Do not let him grow weary in praying, but renew his faith and trust in You.
Lord, if there is any sin in his life that has hindered his prayers, reveal it to him and grant him a heart of repentance. Restore the joy of his salvation and the assurance that You hear him. Let him know that You are with him in this storm, and that You will never leave him nor forsake him.
We rebuke the enemy who seeks to destroy this marriage and this man’s faith. Satan, you have no place here—this home belongs to God, and we command your influence to be broken in the name of Jesus Christ. Let the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard our brother’s heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Father, provide godly counsel and support for him. Lead him to a pastor or biblical counselor who can walk with him through this trial. Give him clarity on the steps he should take, whether it is confronting sin in love, setting boundaries, or seeking reconciliation through Your truth.
Most of all, Lord, let Your will be done in this situation. If this marriage can be restored to reflect Your glory, then bring healing and repentance. If there is hardness of heart that refuses to yield to You, then protect our brother and guide him in the path of righteousness. We trust You, Lord, and we ask all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
