Silas
Beloved of All
The exhaustion you feel is the natural fruit of strife, and it is not a surprise. What you are describing in your home is not merely a marital difficulty; it is a collision between two kinds of wisdom. There is a wisdom that is from above, and there is a wisdom that is earthly, unspiritual, and even demonic. Where there is cursing, a demand for control, and an absence of thankfulness, you are witnessing the wisdom that leads to envy and selfish ambition. It brings disorder and every vile practice. True wisdom, on the other hand, does not look like this. It is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason. Your wife’s words are not Christian things to say because they do not spring from the wisdom that comes from God.
What you need is an anchor that holds no matter the storm around you. Wisdom is the principal thing, and the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. It is not a mere collection of facts. Knowledge alone puffs up, but wisdom gives life to those who have it. You can be a very intelligent person and still be an utter fool, because wisdom is the proper application of knowledge. The wisdom of this world, which boasts of itself, will always come to nothing. It leads to the inner turmoil that destroys a man. But the wisdom from God leads to peace. It brings peace with God first. We are all, by nature, at war with our Creator, and that war spills into our souls and into our homes. There is a peace treaty offered to you, signed in the blood of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. When that wisdom enters your heart, it begins to produce a peace that the world cannot give or take away.
You must seek this wisdom for yourself as diligently as you would search for a hidden treasure. Cry out for understanding. Wisdom is personified as calling out in the streets, raising her voice. She stands at the gates and cries, “To you, O men, I call.” Hear instruction and be wise; do not refuse it. When wisdom enters your heart and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will watch over you and understanding will guard you. This does not mean your circumstances will magically fix themselves overnight, but it means you are no longer helplessly adrift within them. A wise man’s heart guides him rightly, even when a fool’s heart leads him into darkness. Your wife’s desire to control you and extract apologies to feel powerful is a manifestation of that false wisdom that is really folly.
The picture of what God intends for a husband is found in rejoicing with the wife of your youth, letting her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe, being ravished always with her love. That is a beautiful and sacred thing, a fountain of life. What you are living, this barrage of cursing and wicked wishes laid against you, is a corruption of that gift. Yet you cannot force her to embrace true wisdom. You can, however, stop fighting on her terms. The wisdom from above helps you sow in peace the things of peace. It quiets the war within you so that you are no longer forced to fight back with the same weapons of strife. Stop trying to win an argument that is being waged with hellish wisdom, for it will only exhaust you further. Instead, let your own heart be a place where the Spirit of wisdom, the Spirit of knowledge, has poured out. That will give you the discretion to know when to speak, when to be silent, and how to pray.
You asked for prayer for peace in your home and in your life. That peace is found in a person. In Christ are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. He is the one who gives length of days, and in his hand are riches and honor. His ways are ways of pleasantness, and all his paths are peace. Turn your own heart to him first. Seek him, and you will find life and obtain his favor. That is the path to an understanding heart, and it is where you will find the strength to walk through this valley.
What you need is an anchor that holds no matter the storm around you. Wisdom is the principal thing, and the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. It is not a mere collection of facts. Knowledge alone puffs up, but wisdom gives life to those who have it. You can be a very intelligent person and still be an utter fool, because wisdom is the proper application of knowledge. The wisdom of this world, which boasts of itself, will always come to nothing. It leads to the inner turmoil that destroys a man. But the wisdom from God leads to peace. It brings peace with God first. We are all, by nature, at war with our Creator, and that war spills into our souls and into our homes. There is a peace treaty offered to you, signed in the blood of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. When that wisdom enters your heart, it begins to produce a peace that the world cannot give or take away.
You must seek this wisdom for yourself as diligently as you would search for a hidden treasure. Cry out for understanding. Wisdom is personified as calling out in the streets, raising her voice. She stands at the gates and cries, “To you, O men, I call.” Hear instruction and be wise; do not refuse it. When wisdom enters your heart and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will watch over you and understanding will guard you. This does not mean your circumstances will magically fix themselves overnight, but it means you are no longer helplessly adrift within them. A wise man’s heart guides him rightly, even when a fool’s heart leads him into darkness. Your wife’s desire to control you and extract apologies to feel powerful is a manifestation of that false wisdom that is really folly.
The picture of what God intends for a husband is found in rejoicing with the wife of your youth, letting her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe, being ravished always with her love. That is a beautiful and sacred thing, a fountain of life. What you are living, this barrage of cursing and wicked wishes laid against you, is a corruption of that gift. Yet you cannot force her to embrace true wisdom. You can, however, stop fighting on her terms. The wisdom from above helps you sow in peace the things of peace. It quiets the war within you so that you are no longer forced to fight back with the same weapons of strife. Stop trying to win an argument that is being waged with hellish wisdom, for it will only exhaust you further. Instead, let your own heart be a place where the Spirit of wisdom, the Spirit of knowledge, has poured out. That will give you the discretion to know when to speak, when to be silent, and how to pray.
You asked for prayer for peace in your home and in your life. That peace is found in a person. In Christ are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. He is the one who gives length of days, and in his hand are riches and honor. His ways are ways of pleasantness, and all his paths are peace. Turn your own heart to him first. Seek him, and you will find life and obtain his favor. That is the path to an understanding heart, and it is where you will find the strength to walk through this valley.
