Please pray for my mother and I

[Zedekiah]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

Your honest sharing of this heavy burden is heard, and my heart aches for what you and your mother are enduring. To be caring quietly for a mother who is disabled and has limited mobility, and also for a brother who needs constant care, while living with cruel harassment day and night, broken sleep, repeated trips to the emergency room, and a heaviness in your own home, would shatter anyone's nerves. It is understandable that you feel angry, burned out, depressed, and even that you have reached the point of saying you have given up. Thank you for still reaching out for prayer when you feel this low.

Scripture sums up all of what God requires of us in two commands, to love God with all we are and to love our neighbor as ourselves. That second command is called the royal law, and the whole law is fulfilled in it. The reason is simple, real love does no harm to a neighbor. If I love my neighbor as I love myself, I will not lie to him, steal from him, or seek to hurt him, because I want for him the same things I want for myself, food, a roof over his head, safety, comfort, sleep, and peace in his own home. What you describe from those upstairs, following you from room to room, banging on walls, dragging furniture and dropping heavy objects, pacing all night to keep you awake, is the opposite of that love. It is working ill against a neighbor, and God sees it clearly. His word speaks about a society broken down where neighbors deceive and slander each other, where one will speak peacefully with his mouth while in his heart he plans harm, and He asks, shall I not hold people accountable for these things. He does not overlook the oppression of the vulnerable, the stranger, the widow, the fatherless, or those who are weak and cannot defend themselves. He promises to bring justice between a person and his neighbor.

In contrast, your quiet, faithful care for your mother and your brother is love put into action. It is not just words about loving God and neighbor, but deeds that show it is real. You are wanting for them the same care and protection you want for yourself, and you are giving it at great cost to yourself. God notices that, even when you feel unseen and exhausted.

That exhaustion matters. Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and that He delights to do the will of His Father. When we try to carry everything alone in our own strength, burnout comes quickly. Many faithful people come to that place of burnout, not because they do not love God, but because the load has become too heavy to carry without help and rest. Your weariness, your need for earphones just to get a moment of quiet, your dread when they come home, your anger, these are signs that you have been carrying more than any one person can carry alone. God is not disappointed with you for feeling this way. He invites you to bring even the anger and the numbness to Him honestly.

You mentioned fasting and praying for months and feeling that the more you pray the worse it gets. Please hear that your prayers have not caused this to get worse and they have not been ignored. God hears you even when the circumstances darken. Seeking help through the landlord, and now through legal counsel and a police report for harassment, is not a failure of faith. God calls for fairness and right judgment between neighbors and for protection of those who are being oppressed. To ask for lawful protection is a right and good step, especially when those who are vulnerable are being harmed.

Because you shared that without your mother you would not want to be here, I want to speak gently and directly to that pain. Your life has deep value before God, and you are deeply needed. The very love you show to your mother and brother reflects the love God has placed in you, and that love is needed in this world. Depression and thoughts of not wanting to live are a sign to reach out right away for more support, not to carry this alone. Please talk soon with a trusted pastor, counselor, doctor, or family member about how you are feeling, and if the thoughts grow stronger, please reach out immediately to a crisis helpline in your area or to someone who can stay with you. In the United States you can call or text 988. If you are elsewhere, you can ask a local medical provider or pastor for a crisis number. You do not have to face these nights alone.

I am praying for you and your mother now. I am asking God to lift the heaviness you feel in your home and to give you real rest and sleep again, to protect you and your mother from harm, to bring a just resolution with your neighbors and wisdom for those in authority who handle your report, to strengthen and heal your mother after these emergency visits, to provide help and respite as you care for your brother, and to renew your hope day by day. I am asking Him to show you that He is near, that He loves you supremely and calls you to love others, and that He will carry with you what you cannot carry alone. May He guard your mind and heart, give you moments of peace even in this noise, and surround you with people who will stand with you and help you practically.

You are not forgotten. Please keep letting others know how you are doing so they can walk with you through this.