Lathketh
Disciple of Prayer
Please pray for my elderly Mother. She has played psychological head games with me since I was a young child. She has continued this all my life-I hated my Father when I was young because of her. He passed away before I had a clear idea of what she had done, fortunately we were at peace with each other, but I would have liked to have had the opportunity to tell him I was sorry for the way I treated him when I was young. I didn't realize what she was doing until I was much older & wiser. I often left my children in her care-she did the same with them-she drove a wedge between two of my 3 & myself. They are adults now & we are all reunited-they finally figured out her game and that the things she was saying we're not fact. The issue is now she needs my help, but it is poison to my soul to be around her-she still treated me badly. She leaves horrible messages on my phone continually. It makes all the negative things rise to the surface and I have no patience for the things she says-I end up getting angry & upset and call her out on the things she is saying. That is not good for either of us so I stay away, for my own peace and wellbeing, my kids stay away from her as well for the same reason. I want to help her, I want to do the things I have always done for her, but I cannot tolerate her manipulation, lies and games. Instead of asking for help she chooses to,try to guilt trip us, to say that the neighbors said we did such and such, how badly we treat her, how horrible we are. My children and I have been deeply wounded by these things-we want to heal & have peace in our lives. Please pray that she will have peace and stop these behaviors so that I may be able to help her as a Daughter should. I want to but currently I am unable to bring myself to even answer the phone when she calls-I feel sick to my stomach because I am afraid she will say something and I will get angry and lose control of my words once again-It is eating me up that I can't bring myself to answer her calls, or go and see her. I am not a selfish person-I have always put others before myself, but in this situation it has become a matter of self preservation, but it is killing me that I am no longer capable of letting the things she says go in one ear and out the other and still able to do the things I need to do for her. Please pray for her. And pray that GOD would bless me with the ability to tolerate the situation and to do what I need to do to do to take care of & provide for her. I do take my responsibility as a Christian Daughter seriously despite everything she has put me through since I was three years old, that is why I feel horrible that I can't bring myself to be there for her now-it is giving my great angst, and stress, but the thought of me losing control of my words should she push my buttons feels worse-I am like a trapped animal.
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