God is MORE than willing to forgive you if you ask Him to, and that you turn away from sin with His help. This has to be between you and God alone, no one can ask these things for you, Jesus wants a relationship with YOU, He died on the cross for all of our sins and it is those sins that separates us from a Holy God. The bible tells us that if we draw close to the Lord, then He will draw close to us, it is a matter of choice. I pray that you will call out to Jesus and ask His forgiveness and for His help. He loves us and He promises to NEVER leave or forsake us.