B
Brenda222
Guest
Thank you Jesus. Thank everyone for their prayers. I am starting to feel like I cant do this anymore. I know GOD is a restoring GOD. Right now I feel like I just cant keep doing this. I wake up in the mornings, no where to go, dont know how I will pay my rent, car has been repossessed, walking miles everywhere I go, cant understand why my bills are behind, cant understand why I listened to others and put myself in this position by changing jobs, cant see my child 1/2 the time because I cant even afford to take this child anywhere on the bus, cant even afford to get my hair done for $20, sit alone 24 hours a day, no phone calls, no visitors, go to school 1 day a week, study for what, I have no job to advance in, have to walk 5 miles to school, if Im lucky I get cabfare and the cost is $12 to get to school, dont know how Im ever gonna afford another car, lost everything, I cant afford the cable bill so I can read my books for school online and do my homework, when I go to school Im wearing the same thing and that same thing everyday, Im just tired of living like this, depressed everyday, constantly deal daily with my childs dad, who will drop my child here after school and has not spoken for a year to even say hello to me or tell me how my child is doing, dealing with friends who dont even speak anymore to me after I lost everything, people I have never in my life treated this way, credit stinks now, watching my ex and his woman who now lives in my home pass me by when I am on the bustop, watching this womans car go toward my home because after he put me out he moved her in my home and when I see her car I have to see it going toward my home, while she lives with my child and I was told I am not allowed there in the home.
A year ago I was happy, had employment, had an apartment, had my child with me, my credit was getting so good, planning to save for a home, had my life together, had a job, then I went thru so much depression after the break up with my ex. My friends convinced me to change jobs and go to a new job, its's been downhill after that, its been a year, why did I listen to them, Lord if I could just be back to work I can deal with life, I just cant deal with living in seclusion daily, walking up and down the street to get a dollar roll of toilet paper, borrowing money just for busfare, being embarrassed by the busdrivers when I ask could I ride the bus. Please dont tell me to go to these organizations and get clothes and other things, this is not how I want to live my life. Lord please forgive me for the mistake I made in listening to others. Lord I keep saying to myself that everything will turn around. Nothing ever changes. I dont feel confidence to work, be around people and live in seclusion. Lord please give me faith and give me a job that I can be proud of like my old one. I dont want to have to work and miss time with my child. I need to be off on weekends for my child, when my child is out of school. Lord how long am I to suffer for making the biggest mistake of my life, changing jobs. Lord please help me, sometimes I feel like giving up, sometimes I feel like I cant live like this day in and day out, Im a recluse, in this apartment 24/7, no visitors, no phone calls, no contact with the outside world, I cannot live like this every day. Lord please restore my life, give me employment so I can do things with my child, get a car again and live, Im not living daily, Im just floating from day to day doing nothing but sitting in this apartment that I dont even know how I will pay for. Lord I can now deal with the breakup, this man has done me so wrong by putting me out of my home and moving his ex and his family in it. Lord my child wants a home, not an apartment, not a condo, wants to be with me in a home because the hurt is going on so much with this child that mommy cannot be in the home and be a mom to this child while daddy has this child living with his ex and family, a place where mommy is not allowed to come to. Lord I have not been without a car in 20 years, Lord why am I still going thru this, Lord how long am I to suffer. Lord everyone has ignored me, I cant even get a ride to church to sing and praise every week, I cant even get to bible study like I used to go to and loved so much, Lord why did I listen to these people, who I now know cared nothing about me, Lord please give me my job back. Please guys do not sit and tell me to forget about my job, the hours were perfect, I could have made it, I just want a miracle and getting my job back, I cannot work these weekends at these places, no one is calling or hiring me, I want to be off on the weekends with my child, my child needs me, this child is going thru so much, missing mommy, not having a mommy, do you guys know how this is effecting this child, this child is dealing with things grown people dont have to, the child needs to be a child, daddy doenst speak to mommy and has the child speak to me to tell me things, this is too much for this child to bear, I am just tired of this.
I cannot take my life, daddy has put too much on this child. I am not going to take my life. I need to be a mom for this child and give this child a normal life. I need a job, yes if its in his will, but what job is in his will, how long am I to suffer. You say take anything, my child is being ruined, do you guys know what kind of an adult this child will be if I dont get this child away from that environment and get back to work, this child is dealing with too much, this child hurts about being away from me constantly and then going to daddy, back and forth, I need a stable life for this child, I need to be able to do, provide and buy things and take this child somewhere, this is not a normal life, how did I listen to those people, how did I disrupt my life so much, Lord please, please, please forgive me, Im sorry. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry.
A year ago I was happy, had employment, had an apartment, had my child with me, my credit was getting so good, planning to save for a home, had my life together, had a job, then I went thru so much depression after the break up with my ex. My friends convinced me to change jobs and go to a new job, its's been downhill after that, its been a year, why did I listen to them, Lord if I could just be back to work I can deal with life, I just cant deal with living in seclusion daily, walking up and down the street to get a dollar roll of toilet paper, borrowing money just for busfare, being embarrassed by the busdrivers when I ask could I ride the bus. Please dont tell me to go to these organizations and get clothes and other things, this is not how I want to live my life. Lord please forgive me for the mistake I made in listening to others. Lord I keep saying to myself that everything will turn around. Nothing ever changes. I dont feel confidence to work, be around people and live in seclusion. Lord please give me faith and give me a job that I can be proud of like my old one. I dont want to have to work and miss time with my child. I need to be off on weekends for my child, when my child is out of school. Lord how long am I to suffer for making the biggest mistake of my life, changing jobs. Lord please help me, sometimes I feel like giving up, sometimes I feel like I cant live like this day in and day out, Im a recluse, in this apartment 24/7, no visitors, no phone calls, no contact with the outside world, I cannot live like this every day. Lord please restore my life, give me employment so I can do things with my child, get a car again and live, Im not living daily, Im just floating from day to day doing nothing but sitting in this apartment that I dont even know how I will pay for. Lord I can now deal with the breakup, this man has done me so wrong by putting me out of my home and moving his ex and his family in it. Lord my child wants a home, not an apartment, not a condo, wants to be with me in a home because the hurt is going on so much with this child that mommy cannot be in the home and be a mom to this child while daddy has this child living with his ex and family, a place where mommy is not allowed to come to. Lord I have not been without a car in 20 years, Lord why am I still going thru this, Lord how long am I to suffer. Lord everyone has ignored me, I cant even get a ride to church to sing and praise every week, I cant even get to bible study like I used to go to and loved so much, Lord why did I listen to these people, who I now know cared nothing about me, Lord please give me my job back. Please guys do not sit and tell me to forget about my job, the hours were perfect, I could have made it, I just want a miracle and getting my job back, I cannot work these weekends at these places, no one is calling or hiring me, I want to be off on the weekends with my child, my child needs me, this child is going thru so much, missing mommy, not having a mommy, do you guys know how this is effecting this child, this child is dealing with things grown people dont have to, the child needs to be a child, daddy doenst speak to mommy and has the child speak to me to tell me things, this is too much for this child to bear, I am just tired of this.
I cannot take my life, daddy has put too much on this child. I am not going to take my life. I need to be a mom for this child and give this child a normal life. I need a job, yes if its in his will, but what job is in his will, how long am I to suffer. You say take anything, my child is being ruined, do you guys know what kind of an adult this child will be if I dont get this child away from that environment and get back to work, this child is dealing with too much, this child hurts about being away from me constantly and then going to daddy, back and forth, I need a stable life for this child, I need to be able to do, provide and buy things and take this child somewhere, this is not a normal life, how did I listen to those people, how did I disrupt my life so much, Lord please, please, please forgive me, Im sorry. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry.
