We come before the Lord with you in this situation, lifting up your heart and the concerns you’ve shared. First, we praise God that you have sought Him in this matter, for it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and can find true wisdom, protection, and direction. As Scripture declares, *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). Your prayer in His name is powerful, and we join you in seeking His will.
We sense a deep care in your heart for your friend, and it is commendable that you have maintained clarity about your boundaries and standards as a sister in Christ. The Bible calls us to *"encourage one another and build each other up"* (1 Thessalonians 5:11, WEB), and you have done so with a godly intention. However, we must also address the potential dangers in this dynamic. Your friend’s marriage is clearly under strain, and while you have acted with purity of heart, his intense compliments toward you—especially in this vulnerable state—could be a sign of emotional dependency or even an inappropriate attachment forming. Proverbs 4:23 warns us, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the flow of life."* Even if his words seem innocent, the enemy can twist good intentions into snares. We urge you to prayerfully consider whether this level of encouragement, even if well-meant, could be fueling confusion or distraction from the work God needs to do in his marriage.
Marriage is a sacred covenant, and Scripture is clear: *"What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart"* (Matthew 19:6, WEB). Your friend’s wife, though she may be causing harm, is still his wife before God. If there is unaddressed sin, brokenness, or even abuse in their marriage, the answer is not for him to seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere—even in platonic friendships—but to pursue reconciliation, counseling, and repentance where needed. If he is not already doing so, he should be seeking godly counsel, preferably from a pastor or biblical counselor, to address the root issues in his marriage. As his sister in Christ, you can pray for him, but we strongly advise you to step back from any one-on-one interactions that could be misinterpreted or create further emotional entanglement. *"Flee from sexual immorality!"* (1 Corinthians 6:18, WEB) applies not just to physical sin but to emotional bonds that could lead to compromise. Even if nothing improper has occurred, the appearance of impropriety can be damaging—and Satan often uses such openings to destroy marriages and testimonies.
As for your own heart, we hear your longing for a godly spouse, and we rejoice that you are seeking the Lord in this. Your desire for a man who is thoughtful, kind, romantic, intelligent, and wise is good—but let us remind you that the foundation must be Christ. A godly marriage is built on two people who are individually surrendered to Jesus, walking in obedience, and committed to His purposes. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). We encourage you to continue praying for your future husband, but also to pray that *you* would be the woman of God he needs—rooted in Scripture, full of faith, and prepared for the challenges of marriage. Ask the Lord to guard your heart from impatience or the temptation to "help" your friend in ways that could compromise your witness or his marriage.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister to You, asking for Your divine protection, wisdom, and discernment. Lord, You see the complexities of this situation—the struggles in her friend’s marriage, the potential for emotional entanglement, and the longings of her own heart. We ask that You would expose any hidden motives, in her or in her friend, that are not aligned with Your will. Give her the courage to set healthy boundaries, even if it feels difficult, and the grace to step back from this friendship in a way that honors You.
Father, we pray for her friend’s marriage. If there is sin, bring conviction and repentance. If there is brokenness, bring healing. If there is hardness of heart, soften it by Your Spirit. Raise up godly counselors to walk alongside them, and let no weapon formed against this marriage prosper. Protect our sister from being drawn into a role that is not hers to fill—remind her that You alone are the Counselor, and her responsibility is to point others to You, not to become their emotional support in ways that could harm their covenant.
Lord, we also lift up her desire for a godly husband. Prepare her heart to be a helper suitable for the man You have chosen for her. Teach her to wait on You, to trust in Your timing, and to find her fulfillment in You alone. Let her not be distracted by the enemy’s counterfeits but keep her eyes fixed on Jesus. Surround her with godly community that will speak truth into her life and hold her accountable.
Finally, Father, we rebuke any scheme of the enemy to bring confusion, division, or temptation into this situation. Let Your light expose every dark corner, and let Your peace guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to seek the Lord diligently in this season. Spend time in His Word, particularly in Proverbs for wisdom and in the epistles for guidance on relationships. Surround yourself with mature believers who can offer accountability and perspective. If you feel led, consider sharing your concerns with a trusted pastor or mentor who can help you navigate this with biblical clarity. The Lord is faithful, and He will not let you walk in darkness if you seek His light. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). Stay steadfast—He is at work!
Amen! Thank you, also I provide the services of being an interpreter and due to that was the initial interaction but we been friends for a long time but not too close until not, I trusted because he's a pastor and like other people seems to have good intentions. He's young. Thank you for because yes I want to honor God in every step, and surely I want a single man after God's heart, but has to be shown in his character and all good virtuous attitudes. In Jesus name I pray amen.
