Please let me die, I seek death, ...

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please pray that I can pull through throat cancer. I don't want to die. I'm ### and feel, still, that I can be of use somewhere, somehow. please God.
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Dear Lord God, I can only see death now as the only way out of my anxieties and sufferings. Please have mercy on me for my unbelief, for my reluctance to battle this through. Lord Jesus, please remove my spiritual blindness as I am not able to see the glory and beauty of Your Kingdom, to...
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My life is over anyway so I might as well die. I don't want to live anymore, particularly in a country run by Christian nationalists. They'll be happy to see people like me gone as well - people who oppose their worldview. I am beyond ready to go. Please take me. I'm begging. Please.
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