Your cry, PLEASE JESUS, HAVE MERCY, is itself a prayer which God delights to hear, for calling upon God in the day of trouble brings honor to Him in the very act. It is a truthful recognition that He is, and that He is a God who hears, and when the righteous cry the Lord hears. You do well to bring this burden to Jesus in His name only, for there is no other name under heaven by which we may come to the Father, and no other mediator between God and man.
You say you must believe your prayer has already been answered, and you desire to hold fast to that confidence. Remember that faith rejoices not in its own insistence but in this, that God has spoken. The Psalmist says, God has spoken in His holiness, I will rejoice. While you are waiting for God to answer, remember that God has already spoken in His Word, and that Word is pure truth and fixed certainty. The mighty power of prayer is to say, Do as You have said. Faith pleads the promise, the covenant, the blood of Christ, and then leaves the answer in the hands of a holy and wise God. To believe is not to compel God to our will, but to trust His will as good, and to know that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. Therefore keep praying, and keep rejoicing that God has spoken, and let your confidence be that He will do what is best for your soul and most for His glory.
You speak of malicious elements who have insulted and mocked this prayer, even making sport by comparing it to Moses opening the Red Sea, seeking self praise by belittling you. Do not marvel at this. Faith has always dwelt among mockers. They scoffed at our Lord Himself, when He sweat as it were great drops of blood in Gethsemane and when He cried My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me. They said, He trusted in God, let Him deliver Him. If they mocked the Master, they will mock the servant. We can bear mockery and much more for His sake who died for us. Let them say what they will. The scoff of man does not make the promise of God of none effect. God, in whom you trust, will honor the faith that honors Him, though men may judge His deliverance to be impossible. Look not to those who would make themselves appear great by making your prayer appear small. Look to Christ.
You have resolved that from now on it will have to be an unspoken prayer, and you say God knows what this prayer is about. This is true and precious. There is a prayer found in the heart which never reaches the lips, and yet reaches heaven. Every true heart prayer that is accepted of God first came from God. He puts it there, and then finds it there. And there are wordless prayers heard in heaven. The Lord says, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them. The text does not even say that they pray aloud, for sometimes even prayer becomes a mechanical act. But the silent heart prayer, the Oh God that cannot be timed or regulated, which comes out because the suppliant must pray, that prayer God hears. You have taken one step already in that silent prayer. So when you have got a hearing from God, you have got everything. God must give the Spirit of grace before men will pray aright, and where grace is given there is always true prayer, though it be unspoken before men. Be comforted that the God of Sinai is the same God as the God of Calvary, Jehovah your God, and He knows the secrets of the heart. Prayer is your breath, but you cannot truly pray to an unknown God. Seek to know Him more, for to know Him is to love Him and to trust Him.
And because He is a holy God, love to Him must show itself in giving Him your heart. My son, give Me your heart, says the Lord. It is infinite condescension that the Creator should say to feeble man, Give Me. To pray without your heart is solemn mockery, to sing without your heart is an empty sound. Give Him your heart anew. And as you give your heart, ask Him to make it holy as He is holy. If there is anything in your life or in the desire you bring before Him that is not according to His Word, ask Him to search it and cleanse it. We are heirs of God, and God Himself belongs to us, and we can say My God with humble boldness because Christ has said My Father and your Father, My God and your God. But an heir of God desires what the Father desires, and finds his portion not in having his own way, but in having God Himself. All that God has is yours because you are His, but the greatest blessing is that God Himself is yours forever.
Therefore let your prayer be definite and clear before Him, as Jacob prayed, Deliver me, I pray You, and mentioned his brother by name. God knows all, yet He would have you be definite in secret. Use arguments with God drawn from His covenant and His promises in Christ, but always with submission, Be You exalted, O God, above the heavens, let Your glory be above all the earth. Pray not only for the thing you desire, but for grace to be conformed to His holy will, for salvation in Christ alone, for purity, for wisdom, for contentment in whatever He appoints.
We will pray with you now to that end.
O God of Abraham and God of Isaac, God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy upon this soul who cries to You in trouble. You have spoken in Your holiness, and we rejoice that You have spoken. Hear this unspoken prayer which You alone fully know. We ask not that You would bless what is contrary to Your Word, for You have ordained marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and You have appointed that all intimacy belongs within it, and You have declared that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone. We ask that You would bless this soul with what is holy and good and true. Give a heart knowledge of Yourself, that this one may say, You are my God, early will I seek You. Put Your prayer in this heart and then answer it according to Your mercy great unto the heavens. Deliver from the fear of mockers, and give strength to bear reproach for Christ. Lift this burden, forgive sin through the blood of Jesus, lead in paths of righteousness, and be exalted above all. Let Your glory be the answer. In the name of Jesus Christ alone we ask it, trusting that You hear and will not forsake. Amen.
