We hear your heart, dear sister, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting you up before the throne of grace where mercy and forgiveness flow freely. Your desire for purity, integrity, and a godly marriage is beautiful and honors the Lord, who delights in those who walk in His ways. Let us first affirm that your physical virginity is a precious gift, one that you have guarded even when others sought to exploit your innocence. The enemy may have whispered lies that you are "ruined" or unworthy, but Scripture declares that in Christ, you are a new creation—the old has passed away, and behold, all things have become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). You are not defined by your past, but by the blood of Jesus that washes you whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7).
Your confession of past involvement in sexting, even as the recipient, reveals a heart that desires holiness, and we must address this with both truth and grace. While you did not engage in physical intercourse, the sharing of explicit images and messages is not without consequence in the spiritual realm. These actions can create ungodly soul ties—emotional and spiritual bonds that are not ordained by God. Soul ties formed outside of marriage can defile the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and open doors to spiritual oppression. But take heart, for the Lord is faithful to cleanse and restore. We rebuke every ungodly soul tie in Jesus’ name and declare them broken by the power of His blood. We pray that every remnant of shame, guilt, or ungodly attachment would be severed, and that your mind, body, and spirit would be fully consecrated to the Lord.
You ask whether you should confess these past experiences to your boyfriend. Scripture teaches that we are to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed (James 5:16), but this does not necessarily mean every detail must be shared with a future spouse. Your boyfriend does not need to know the specifics of your past to trust in your commitment to purity moving forward. However, if you feel led by the Holy Spirit to share in a general way—acknowledging that you have made mistakes but have repented and are walking in newness of life—this can foster transparency and accountability in your courtship. What is most important is that you have confessed these things to the Lord, who is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Confessing to a trusted spiritual mentor, pastor, or priest can also bring healing and freedom, but this is a matter of personal conviction and discernment.
As for your boyfriend’s past, we must remember that the Lord’s forgiveness is complete. If he has repented and turned away from his past sins, then we must extend the same grace that Christ has given us. However, it is wise to pray for his complete deliverance from any lingering soul ties or generational curses that may affect your future marriage. We declare that every generational curse of sexual immorality, lust, or ungodliness over both of your bloodlines is broken in Jesus’ name. The Lord promises that the curse without cause shall not alight (Proverbs 26:2), and we stand on that truth.
To pray for purification from past soul ties and generational curses, we encourage you to pray boldly and specifically. Here is a prayer you can pray with us:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name. We thank You for Your mercy and grace that cover every sin and wash us clean. Lord, we ask that You would break every ungodly soul tie that has formed in [your name]’s life, whether through past relationships, emotional attachments, or exposure to explicit content. We rebuke every spiritual bond that is not of You, and we declare them severed by the power of the blood of Jesus. We pray that Your Holy Spirit would fill every void where these ties once existed, and that You would restore purity to her mind, body, and spirit.
We also break every generational curse of sexual immorality, lust, and ungodliness that may be operating in her bloodline or the bloodline of her future spouse. We declare that the curse is broken by the authority of Jesus Christ, who became a curse for us (Galatians 3:13). We plead the blood of Jesus over her past, present, and future, and we ask that You would seal her in Your righteousness. Father, we ask that You would purify her heart and mind, that she may walk in holiness and integrity as she prepares for marriage. We pray that You would guard her eyes, her ears, and her heart from anything that does not align with Your Word.
Father, we ask that You would bless her courtship and prepare her for a godly marriage. May her future husband be a man after Your own heart, and may their union be a testimony of Your love and faithfulness. We pray that You would remove any fear, shame, or guilt that the enemy has tried to place on her, and that she would walk in the freedom that Christ has purchased for her. We declare that she is not "ruined" or "fit for the streets," but she is a chosen vessel, set apart for Your glory. Thank You, Lord, for Your healing, Your restoration, and Your unfailing love. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Sister, we want to encourage you with the truth of God’s Word. You are not too far gone for the Lord to restore you. In fact, He specializes in taking what the enemy meant for evil and turning it into good (Genesis 50:20). Your desire to walk in purity is evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in your life, and we believe that the Lord has a beautiful plan for your future marriage. Do not let the enemy convince you that your past disqualifies you from God’s best. Instead, press into the Lord, seek His face, and allow Him to heal and restore every area of your heart.
As you continue to get to know your boyfriend, remember that courtship should be centered on the Lord and the pursuit of His will. Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) and set boundaries that honor God, both physically and emotionally. The world may tell you that physical intimacy is a natural part of dating, but Scripture is clear that sexual immorality is a sin against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). We encourage you to flee from any situation that may lead to temptation, and to pursue holiness in all areas of your life. Your boyfriend should be a man who shares your commitment to purity and who is willing to wait until marriage to experience the fullness of God’s design for intimacy.
Finally, we want to address the importance of salvation in Jesus Christ. It is only through faith in Him that we have access to the Father and the forgiveness of sins. If you have not already, we encourage you to surrender your life fully to Jesus, acknowledging Him as your Lord and Savior. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Salvation is not earned by works, but by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. If you have already made this decision, we rejoice with you and encourage you to continue growing in your relationship with Him.
You are not alone in this journey, dear sister. The Lord is with you, and we stand with you in prayer, believing that He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). Walk in the freedom that Christ has given you, and trust that He is preparing you for a marriage that glorifies Him.
