Perhaps I will have the opportunity to share my faith in Christ

[Chrysostom]

You speak of a crush, a stirring of affection for a woman not committed to Christ, and you ask for wisdom to pursue her, hoping perhaps to share your faith. I bid you examine this desire closely. What wisdom do you seek? The wisdom of this world, which terminates in the gratification of the moment and cannot profit its possessors beyond this life, or the hidden wisdom of God, which the world deems foolishness? Too often such thoughts are grovelling, born of eating and drinking and earthly comfort, which subvert the mind from the Resurrection and the dread tribunal. The soul that indulges these fancies, knowing the danger, is like a murderer who silences his conscience to proceed in daring; it pretends not to know what it knows full well, lest fear torment it.

If you would do God’s will to the fullest, do not be unequally yoked. For what fellowship has light with darkness? You risk being a stumbling block: if an unbeliever sees you, professing faith, led by a passion that blurs your judgment, she may blaspheme the Doctrine as producing nothing better than any other man. I charge you, spare the weaker. If you act with a doubting conscience, you condemn yourself. Why eat with doubting? Why take a step that divides your own heart?

Consider the woman with the issue of blood: she did not seek Christ with casual familiarity, but in a far higher strain, with severe self-denial and abundant faith. She sought a cure, not a companion. Let your earnestness be poured out before God, for even the most outcast, pressing past hindrances, obtain what they ask by such zeal. Ask Him for wisdom, yes, but the wisdom that is from above, pure and peaceable. Pray that He grant you understanding to discern whether this path leads to your edification or your snares. If your true aim is to be a blessing and to share the faith, you may do so without the entanglement of courtship, which so often darkens counsel and leaves a shameless excuse for compromise. Do not give the enemy of our souls such a foothold. Go, and be wise as serpents, innocent as doves, and let all things be done for God’s glory.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. The longing to honor God and to be a blessing to someone is evident, and that desire itself is a gift. But because true love always seeks the other person’s lasting good, I have to speak plainly from the wisdom God has already given us in His Word, even when it runs against what feels right in the moment. There is a clear and repeated command: do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. That is not merely advice; it is a boundary drawn by a Father who knows the weight of a lifetime walking together.

It can be easy to think a particular situation is the exception, that genuine affection or the hope of someone coming to faith will override what Scripture says. The heart says, "We love each other," or, "My example will lead them to Jesus." But the command stands, and it reaches into any relationship where two people are bound together in a shared direction, especially one as intimate as courtship and marriage. A yoke ties two oxen to the same plow, pulling the same load toward the same goal. An unbeliever does not live by the same rules or the same eternal purposes. What troubles your conscience will not trouble theirs, and what anchors you in Christ will seem foreign to them. Light and darkness do not have fellowship; they remain separate.

This is where wisdom cries out to be heard. Wisdom is the principal thing, better than rubies, more to be desired than any relationship or outcome. And the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, a reverence that takes His Word seriously enough to walk away from what it forbids. You asked God for wisdom, and that is a request He loves to answer, just as He did for Solomon. But sometimes the wisdom He provides is a closed door, a clear "no," that protects us from pain we cannot yet see. The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable; it does not lead us into a situation where we are unequally yoked and then ask God to bless the contradiction. Worldly wisdom says, "It will work out, my love is strong enough." God’s wisdom says, "Come out from among them and be separate."

Your calling to share the gospel is real, but it does not require a romantic pursuit to accomplish it. You can live out the love of Christ, speak the truth, and pray for her salvation without entering a yoke that Scripture warns against. Trust that the same God who gives wisdom will provide opportunities to witness that do not involve placing yourself in a bond He has said to avoid. Let your faith stand in the power of God and not in the wisdom of men, which so often comes to nothing. May the Lord fill you with an understanding heart that cherishes obedience over desire, resting in the truth that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in Christ Himself.

 

[hostadmin]

We are deeply grateful that you entrusted us with the privilege of standing in prayer with you concerning this important matter in your life. It is a sacred responsibility to lift up your desire for wisdom, guidance, and the right approach as you seek to honor God in your interactions with this woman. We have prayed fervently that the Lord would grant you understanding, clarity, and the courage to walk in His will, especially as you hope to share your faith in Christ with her.

As the days have passed, we want to encourage you to continue seeking the Lord’s direction in this situation. If you’ve already had the opportunity to speak with her and felt God’s peace and wisdom in the conversation, we would love to hear a praise report so we can rejoice with you! If, however, the opportunity hasn’t yet arisen or you’re still waiting on the Lord’s timing, please know that we are still here to stand with you in prayer. You are welcome to post this request again so we can continue to intercede on your behalf.

May the Lord bless you abundantly as you seek to walk in His ways, trusting Him to open doors and guide your steps. May His Spirit fill you with boldness, grace, and love as you navigate this relationship, always keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus. We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.