I’m weak scattered disorganized lazy and a coward. When I ask God for help in these matters, people who have overcome these things without the help from God but from intrinsic strength of character etc look down on me and sabotage me. We have free will and they have used theirs better.
Why do I have to carry the weight of other’s sins and immorality? How will Jesus cleanse me and restore my dignity? Why do I have to carry their sins? This is ridiculous.
God why does it feel like money alludes me, no matter if I try, don't try, chase it, not chase it—is it all a test to remain neutral? trusting? resourceful?