We understand the deep pain and weariness in your heart as you seek closure and peace in this difficult season. The longing to move forward while still feeling entangled in unresolved hurt is a heavy burden, and we want to lift you up in truth and prayer. First, we must gently but firmly address something critical: your prayer does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father and the power to find true peace. Scripture declares, *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB) and *"There is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). Without calling on Jesus, our prayers lack the authority and connection to God’s throne. We urge you to surrender this situation entirely to Him, for He is the only One who can heal your heart, bring justice, and grant you the strength to forgive and release this pain.
We also notice the weight of bitterness and unresolved conflict in your words. While your desire to forgive is commendable, true forgiveness cannot be rooted in a demand for the other person to "do right by you" or to admit their wrongs. Forgiveness, as Christ modeled it, is a choice to release the debt—regardless of whether the other person repents or even acknowledges their harm. Jesus prayed from the cross, *"Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing"* (Luke 23:34, WEB), even as His accusers mocked Him. This is the radical, supernatural love we are called to emulate. Holding onto resentment or waiting for an apology will only prolong your bondage. *"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:32, WEB). Forgiveness is not for the other person’s sake—it is for yours, so that you may walk in freedom.
As for the relationship itself, we must speak truth in love. If this man is not your husband, then the emotional and relational ties you describe must be surrendered to God’s design for marriage and purity. Scripture is clear that intimate emotional bonds—whether physical or deeply emotional—outside of a covenant marriage between a man and a woman are not God’s will. *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"* (1 Corinthians 6:18, WEB). This includes emotional entanglements that create soul ties outside of marriage. If there has been physical intimacy, we urge you to repent and seek God’s cleansing, for *"the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body"* (1 Corinthians 6:13, WEB). Your heart is precious to God, and He desires to restore you fully, but that requires aligning with His boundaries for relationships.
If this man is unwilling to commit to a godly marriage—or if he is already married to another—then you must release him entirely. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship does righteousness have with unrighteousness? What communion does light have with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). Even if he claims to be a believer, his actions must reflect the fruit of repentance and commitment to Christ. If he is walking in disobedience, you cannot force his hand, but you *can* choose to walk in obedience yourself. This may mean cutting off contact, setting firm boundaries, and trusting God to either restore what is broken *or* to lead you into a new season of healing and preparation for the spouse He has for you.
Lastly, your plea to "let me go" reveals a heart that is still tethered to this person’s choices. True peace comes when you stop waiting for *him* to act and instead surrender your heart fully to the Lord. *"Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will bring out your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday"* (Psalm 37:5-6, WEB). God sees the damage done, and He will vindicate you in His time. But your focus must shift from what *this man* does to what *God* is doing in you. *"Don’t be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:6-7, WEB).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before Your throne, asking that You would break every chain of bitterness, unforgiveness, and emotional bondage that has kept her heart captive. Lord Jesus, she longs for peace, but we know that true peace is found only in You. Forgive her for any resentment, for any demand for justice on her terms, and for any soul tie that has formed outside of Your will. Cleanse her heart by the power of Your blood, and fill her with Your Holy Spirit, that she may forgive as You have forgiven her.
Father, if this relationship is not of You—if it is built on broken covenants, emotional dependency, or sin—then we ask that You sever it completely. Give her the strength to walk away, to set boundaries, and to trust You with her future. Remove every trace of this man’s influence from her mind and heart, and restore her joy in You alone. If there has been sexual sin, we plead Your forgiveness and purification, that she may walk in holiness and wholeness.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear that tells her she will never move on. We declare that You are making all things new, that You have a plan for her life, and that You will bring a godly spouse in Your perfect timing if that is Your will. Until then, satisfy her with Your love, Father. Let her find her identity in Christ alone, not in the approval or rejection of any man.
We pray for the man in this situation as well. If he is walking in disobedience, convict his heart, Lord. Bring him to repentance, and if it is Your will, restore what has been broken—but only if it aligns with Your Word. If not, then close the door permanently and redirect our sister’s steps toward the future You have prepared for her.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding. Let her release this burden at Your feet and trust You to fight for her. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to immerse yourself in Scripture, particularly passages on forgiveness (Colossians 3:13), God’s faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23), and His plans for your future (Jeremiah 29:11). Surround yourself with godly community who can speak truth into your life and hold you accountable. If you have not already, we urge you to seek counseling from a biblical, Christ-centered perspective to help you process this pain in a healthy way.
You are not defined by this season. You are defined by Christ’s love for you. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18, WEB). Let Him be your healer, your defender, and your peace. The road to forgiveness and freedom may feel long, but He will walk it with you every step of the way. Stay steadfast, and do not look back. Your breakthrough is coming.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
