Silas
Beloved of All
Your burden for your older daughter is heard, and your desire to see her free, protected and restored is right and good. I join you in bringing her before the Lord, asking for His mercy, His light and His deliverance.
Scripture makes clear that our relationship with God comes first. When that relationship is right, other relationships begin to come into balance, and when it is neglected or broken, other relationships go wrong. You can often trace confusion and pain in human relationships back to a drift away from the Lord. That is why the first need for your daughter is not a better human relationship but a renewed, living, loving relationship with God Himself. Not a ritual or legal observance, but the close intimate walk of a child with her Father. Through Jesus Christ we are adopted into the family of God, and we are invited to come to Him as Father, to know how deeply He loves us and to love Him in return. My prayer is that your daughter would return to that first love, that hunger for righteousness would be reignited, that she would again delight in His Word, in fellowship with Him, and in the wisdom of her family and church community who love her.
God has shown us that marriage is a covenant relationship, the lifelong union of one man and one woman, and that living together and sexual union belong within that covenant. What is outside that covenant is not marriage, even if it is called marriage or treated as marriage, and it does not carry the blessing, protection or provision that God intends for marriage. When that order is set aside, the fruit is often what you are seeing. Jealousy, rivalry, division, exhaustion, financial strain and a sense of worthlessness. Chaos takes the place of peace.
We also see in Scripture how hard it is to live in a polluted and controlling environment and not be touched by it. One man who chose to live in a corrupt city was strong enough to survive there for a time, but the cost to his family and to the morals of his children was great. A bad environment shapes a person. Your daughter is described as exhausted, forgetful, living in chaos, withdrawing from those who love her, and beginning to imitate cold, ungrateful and mocking behavior that is not her true character. That is the effect of a toxic stronghold. She needs to be called out of that darkness and into His light.
The Lord once spoke to Jacob when he was far from home and tangled in difficult family relationships, and said return to the land of your fathers and to your family, and I will be with you. There is a promise in that word. God meets us and is with us as we return to the place of family and to faithfulness to Him. Your daughter is not homeless and she is not without family. She has a loving, supportive family who raised her in the ways of the Lord, and she has a place of safety and wisdom to return to. She does not need the approval or guidance of those who are dividing and isolating her, and she does not belong to another family. As a child of the Most High God she belongs to Him.
God also puts tremendous importance on honoring parents and on healthy family bonds. That honor is the first commandment that deals with human relationships, because the home is foundational. In contrast to the manipulation and control you describe, Scripture gives us the picture of Ruth and Naomi, a beautiful bond of loyalty, respect and selfless care, and of Boaz who acted as a true kinsman and protector, seeking what was best for Ruth and preserving her dignity. That is what a godly man and a godly family do. They do not exploit, isolate or use another person for financial gain, they do not demand that a young woman carry responsibilities that are not hers to bear, and they do not speak with harsh authority that must be obeyed. A man who is not ready to provide, to lead spiritually and to shepherd with gentleness is not ready for a relationship, and certainly not for marriage.
So I pray with you in this way.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, our only Savior, I ask that You open my sister's daughter's eyes to see the truth. Let her see this living arrangement for what it is, not a marriage, not Your design, but a stumbling block in her walk with You. Give her wisdom to stop defending and admiring what is harming her, and courage to walk away from this bondage with no regrets. Soften her heart to receive Your conviction. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit and restore to her a grateful, gracious, loving, respectful and considerate spirit.
Break every chain and frustrate every scheme that seeks to control, divide and isolate her from her family and from her church friends. Expose motives rooted in pride, jealousy, selfishness and manipulation. Block every word spoken against her and render powerless every plan to keep her dependent, confused and feeling worthless. Help her to remember who she is in You, to find her worth in You alone, and to stop confiding in and seeking guidance from those who do not respect her and do not have her best interests at heart.
Give her wisdom to protect what You have entrusted to her, to steward her finances well, to stop using her family as a resource to sustain this man, and to take on no more debt to support a lifestyle that is outside Your will. Let her see clearly that the exhaustion and financial hardship she feels are connected to this ungodly situation, and give her strength to set boundaries and to stop imitating stubbornness, gossip and mocking toward her own family.
I ask that You protect her work, the good purpose You have given her there, and shut the door to any interference meant to undermine her. Surround her with supportive people who care for her and draw her back to the safety of her family and her church community.
For you, her mother, I pray for supernatural love, favor, protection and healing of brokenness. Guard your heart when you are treated coldly and rudely, and give you endurance and peace. Let no weapon formed against you or your children prosper, and cover you with the precious blood of Jesus. Restore peace, fellowship, happiness, respect, unity and freedom in your home.
And for this young man and his mother, I pray that You would bring conviction, that they would see how they have enabled disrespect and corruption, and that they would turn from controlling and dishonest ways. Let the father in that home take proper responsibility and let each family focus on what is theirs to care for.
Lord, nothing is impossible for You. Bring this daughter out of darkness and into Your light, back to a living relationship with You as her Father, back to the wisdom of Your Word, and back to the family who loves her. In time, provide for her the godly spouse You desire for her, but first restore her to Yourself. In Jesus name, Amen.
Scripture makes clear that our relationship with God comes first. When that relationship is right, other relationships begin to come into balance, and when it is neglected or broken, other relationships go wrong. You can often trace confusion and pain in human relationships back to a drift away from the Lord. That is why the first need for your daughter is not a better human relationship but a renewed, living, loving relationship with God Himself. Not a ritual or legal observance, but the close intimate walk of a child with her Father. Through Jesus Christ we are adopted into the family of God, and we are invited to come to Him as Father, to know how deeply He loves us and to love Him in return. My prayer is that your daughter would return to that first love, that hunger for righteousness would be reignited, that she would again delight in His Word, in fellowship with Him, and in the wisdom of her family and church community who love her.
God has shown us that marriage is a covenant relationship, the lifelong union of one man and one woman, and that living together and sexual union belong within that covenant. What is outside that covenant is not marriage, even if it is called marriage or treated as marriage, and it does not carry the blessing, protection or provision that God intends for marriage. When that order is set aside, the fruit is often what you are seeing. Jealousy, rivalry, division, exhaustion, financial strain and a sense of worthlessness. Chaos takes the place of peace.
We also see in Scripture how hard it is to live in a polluted and controlling environment and not be touched by it. One man who chose to live in a corrupt city was strong enough to survive there for a time, but the cost to his family and to the morals of his children was great. A bad environment shapes a person. Your daughter is described as exhausted, forgetful, living in chaos, withdrawing from those who love her, and beginning to imitate cold, ungrateful and mocking behavior that is not her true character. That is the effect of a toxic stronghold. She needs to be called out of that darkness and into His light.
The Lord once spoke to Jacob when he was far from home and tangled in difficult family relationships, and said return to the land of your fathers and to your family, and I will be with you. There is a promise in that word. God meets us and is with us as we return to the place of family and to faithfulness to Him. Your daughter is not homeless and she is not without family. She has a loving, supportive family who raised her in the ways of the Lord, and she has a place of safety and wisdom to return to. She does not need the approval or guidance of those who are dividing and isolating her, and she does not belong to another family. As a child of the Most High God she belongs to Him.
God also puts tremendous importance on honoring parents and on healthy family bonds. That honor is the first commandment that deals with human relationships, because the home is foundational. In contrast to the manipulation and control you describe, Scripture gives us the picture of Ruth and Naomi, a beautiful bond of loyalty, respect and selfless care, and of Boaz who acted as a true kinsman and protector, seeking what was best for Ruth and preserving her dignity. That is what a godly man and a godly family do. They do not exploit, isolate or use another person for financial gain, they do not demand that a young woman carry responsibilities that are not hers to bear, and they do not speak with harsh authority that must be obeyed. A man who is not ready to provide, to lead spiritually and to shepherd with gentleness is not ready for a relationship, and certainly not for marriage.
So I pray with you in this way.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, our only Savior, I ask that You open my sister's daughter's eyes to see the truth. Let her see this living arrangement for what it is, not a marriage, not Your design, but a stumbling block in her walk with You. Give her wisdom to stop defending and admiring what is harming her, and courage to walk away from this bondage with no regrets. Soften her heart to receive Your conviction. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit and restore to her a grateful, gracious, loving, respectful and considerate spirit.
Break every chain and frustrate every scheme that seeks to control, divide and isolate her from her family and from her church friends. Expose motives rooted in pride, jealousy, selfishness and manipulation. Block every word spoken against her and render powerless every plan to keep her dependent, confused and feeling worthless. Help her to remember who she is in You, to find her worth in You alone, and to stop confiding in and seeking guidance from those who do not respect her and do not have her best interests at heart.
Give her wisdom to protect what You have entrusted to her, to steward her finances well, to stop using her family as a resource to sustain this man, and to take on no more debt to support a lifestyle that is outside Your will. Let her see clearly that the exhaustion and financial hardship she feels are connected to this ungodly situation, and give her strength to set boundaries and to stop imitating stubbornness, gossip and mocking toward her own family.
I ask that You protect her work, the good purpose You have given her there, and shut the door to any interference meant to undermine her. Surround her with supportive people who care for her and draw her back to the safety of her family and her church community.
For you, her mother, I pray for supernatural love, favor, protection and healing of brokenness. Guard your heart when you are treated coldly and rudely, and give you endurance and peace. Let no weapon formed against you or your children prosper, and cover you with the precious blood of Jesus. Restore peace, fellowship, happiness, respect, unity and freedom in your home.
And for this young man and his mother, I pray that You would bring conviction, that they would see how they have enabled disrespect and corruption, and that they would turn from controlling and dishonest ways. Let the father in that home take proper responsibility and let each family focus on what is theirs to care for.
Lord, nothing is impossible for You. Bring this daughter out of darkness and into Your light, back to a living relationship with You as her Father, back to the wisdom of Your Word, and back to the family who loves her. In time, provide for her the godly spouse You desire for her, but first restore her to Yourself. In Jesus name, Amen.
