Silas
Beloved of All
Your faithful love for your daughter and your clear discernment about what is happening come through in this prayer. It is painful to watch a child you raised in the ways of the Lord become entangled in a draining and controlling arrangement, isolated from the family and church community that loves her, and taught to treat a living arrangement outside of marriage as if it were marriage itself. God sees this, and He hears your cry for peace, protection, freedom and restoration.
Scripture is clear that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and sharing a home as husband and wife belong within that covenant. When that design is set aside, the result is not blessing but confusion, jealousy, rivalry and hardship. We see this even in the Old Testament accounts where relationships departed from God's pattern, the homes were marked by strife rather than peace. In the same way, a relationship built on cohabitation outside of marriage cannot carry the weight or the blessing of marriage, no matter how strongly others insist that it should. It will leave a person exhausted, financially strained and spiritually divided, because sin always separates and brings disorder.
The young man you describe has no biblical claim to the responsibilities and privileges of a husband, and his mother has no biblical authority to direct your daughter to live together, to have children outside of marriage, to fund his needs, or to look to her for guidance about staying in a harmful situation. To urge your daughter to take on debts, to surrender her income, to cut off supportive relationships and to remain in a bond of manipulation and disrespect is counsel that directly contradicts the Word of God. God will expose motives that are rooted in pride, selfishness and control, and He will frustrate plans that seek to divide and isolate.
Take comfort that God knows how to deliver those who are His. As with Lot, who was distressed by the corruption around him, the Lord saw his affliction and made a way of deliverance. Living close to moral corruption does affect a family, and it can wear down even a strong young woman until she feels forgetful, chaotic and worthless. Yet the Lord is able to break that hold. Your daughter does not need this woman's approval and she is not without a home or a family. She is a child of the Most High God, loved, valued and raised with a foundation of truth that the Holy Spirit can bring back to her memory.
At the heart of every other relationship is our relationship with God. When that primary relationship is right, the other relationships begin to come into balance, but when it is neglected they fall into disorder. What your daughter needs most is not better advice from those who encourage what is wrong, but a renewed, intimate and loving relationship with Jesus Christ Himself. God does not want a distant or merely rule keeping connection, He wants a close fellowship where she knows she is His beloved and where she hungers again for righteousness. Pray that the Lord softens her heart to receive His conviction, rekindles her first love for Him, and gives her a desire to return to the safety and wisdom of family and the church community where she was nurtured.
In practical terms, continue to encourage her with truth spoken in love. Help her see that exhaustion and financial hardship are fruit of this outside of marriage living arrangement, not simply the fault of her job or friends. Encourage her to protect what God has entrusted to her, to refuse to take on further credit card debt to sustain another person's lifestyle, and to stop confiding in and financially supporting those who exploit her and undermine her. A man who is controlling, lazy, dishonest and disrespectful toward her family is not acting as a provider or spiritual leader, he is a stumbling block to her walk with God. He is not ready for a marriage relationship, and it would be right for his own father to take responsibility for him rather than placing that burden on your daughter.
We join you in praying that every word spoken against your daughter and every scheme to control, divide and isolate her would fail, that no weapon formed against you and your children would prosper, and that the blood of Jesus would cover and guard your home. We pray that the Lord opens your daughter's eyes to see this relationship truthfully, gives her a deep sense of her worth in Christ so she no longer accepts being made to feel worthless and without family, and grants her wisdom, self respect and courage to walk away from bondage without regret. We pray that interference in her work would be stopped, that her recent promotion which God graciously provided would be protected and used for good, and that when she visits family she would be shielded from manipulation and hatred toward you and her siblings.
We also pray for the young man and his mother, that God would bring them to see their own need for repentance, that the mother would turn her attention to her own household rather than controlling your daughter, and that the young man would come to understand how his behavior dishonors God and others. Above all we ask that your daughter would put her faith and trust fully in Jesus Christ again, for salvation is through Him alone, and that she would find her peace and identity in Him. If it is the Lord's will for her future, we pray He would in His perfect time provide a godly husband who will love her as Christ loves the church, within the holy covenant of marriage.
Nothing is impossible with God. Keep interceding, keep loving, keep holding out the truth with patience, and trust the Lord to restore peace, fellowship, happiness, respect, unity and freedom to your family in His way and time. May His supernatural love, favor and protection overflow upon you and your children and heal what has been broken.
Scripture is clear that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and sharing a home as husband and wife belong within that covenant. When that design is set aside, the result is not blessing but confusion, jealousy, rivalry and hardship. We see this even in the Old Testament accounts where relationships departed from God's pattern, the homes were marked by strife rather than peace. In the same way, a relationship built on cohabitation outside of marriage cannot carry the weight or the blessing of marriage, no matter how strongly others insist that it should. It will leave a person exhausted, financially strained and spiritually divided, because sin always separates and brings disorder.
The young man you describe has no biblical claim to the responsibilities and privileges of a husband, and his mother has no biblical authority to direct your daughter to live together, to have children outside of marriage, to fund his needs, or to look to her for guidance about staying in a harmful situation. To urge your daughter to take on debts, to surrender her income, to cut off supportive relationships and to remain in a bond of manipulation and disrespect is counsel that directly contradicts the Word of God. God will expose motives that are rooted in pride, selfishness and control, and He will frustrate plans that seek to divide and isolate.
Take comfort that God knows how to deliver those who are His. As with Lot, who was distressed by the corruption around him, the Lord saw his affliction and made a way of deliverance. Living close to moral corruption does affect a family, and it can wear down even a strong young woman until she feels forgetful, chaotic and worthless. Yet the Lord is able to break that hold. Your daughter does not need this woman's approval and she is not without a home or a family. She is a child of the Most High God, loved, valued and raised with a foundation of truth that the Holy Spirit can bring back to her memory.
At the heart of every other relationship is our relationship with God. When that primary relationship is right, the other relationships begin to come into balance, but when it is neglected they fall into disorder. What your daughter needs most is not better advice from those who encourage what is wrong, but a renewed, intimate and loving relationship with Jesus Christ Himself. God does not want a distant or merely rule keeping connection, He wants a close fellowship where she knows she is His beloved and where she hungers again for righteousness. Pray that the Lord softens her heart to receive His conviction, rekindles her first love for Him, and gives her a desire to return to the safety and wisdom of family and the church community where she was nurtured.
In practical terms, continue to encourage her with truth spoken in love. Help her see that exhaustion and financial hardship are fruit of this outside of marriage living arrangement, not simply the fault of her job or friends. Encourage her to protect what God has entrusted to her, to refuse to take on further credit card debt to sustain another person's lifestyle, and to stop confiding in and financially supporting those who exploit her and undermine her. A man who is controlling, lazy, dishonest and disrespectful toward her family is not acting as a provider or spiritual leader, he is a stumbling block to her walk with God. He is not ready for a marriage relationship, and it would be right for his own father to take responsibility for him rather than placing that burden on your daughter.
We join you in praying that every word spoken against your daughter and every scheme to control, divide and isolate her would fail, that no weapon formed against you and your children would prosper, and that the blood of Jesus would cover and guard your home. We pray that the Lord opens your daughter's eyes to see this relationship truthfully, gives her a deep sense of her worth in Christ so she no longer accepts being made to feel worthless and without family, and grants her wisdom, self respect and courage to walk away from bondage without regret. We pray that interference in her work would be stopped, that her recent promotion which God graciously provided would be protected and used for good, and that when she visits family she would be shielded from manipulation and hatred toward you and her siblings.
We also pray for the young man and his mother, that God would bring them to see their own need for repentance, that the mother would turn her attention to her own household rather than controlling your daughter, and that the young man would come to understand how his behavior dishonors God and others. Above all we ask that your daughter would put her faith and trust fully in Jesus Christ again, for salvation is through Him alone, and that she would find her peace and identity in Him. If it is the Lord's will for her future, we pray He would in His perfect time provide a godly husband who will love her as Christ loves the church, within the holy covenant of marriage.
Nothing is impossible with God. Keep interceding, keep loving, keep holding out the truth with patience, and trust the Lord to restore peace, fellowship, happiness, respect, unity and freedom to your family in His way and time. May His supernatural love, favor and protection overflow upon you and your children and heal what has been broken.
