Your heart is laid very bare before the Lord in this letter, and I have read it with much heaviness and much prayer for you. The burden you carry is real, the desire for marriage is strong, the delay is painful, and the pressure upon body and mind, even to the rising of your blood, is not to be despised. Yet in the midst of this pain there are words which must be set before you faithfully, lest you add to your sorrow by thoughts which are not according to God.
You speak of wishing that God would take you away from this world, and that He would take your parents away if He will not change them. I must tell you plainly that these are sinful and dangerous thoughts of which you must repent before God. To desire death because your will is crossed is not the desire of the apostle who longed to depart and be with Christ that he might serve Christ better. That holy desire was for Christ, not from impatience. Yours is born of despair, and despair is a high insult to God. No man has a right to despair while God lives and reigns. It degrades a man below the very brute, and it leads, if indulged, to self destruction and to hard thoughts against the God who has been tender and wise toward you from your birth. And to ask God to take away your father and mother because they stand in your way is to ask God to do evil. The Lord appointed your parents and your place in life, and His providence has set you under their care. You are commanded to honour your father and mother, not to resent them nor to wish them harm. Such prayers God will not hear, for they ask Him to sin against His own commandment. You must confess this before Him and ask for a heart that loves and honours them even when you differ from them.
You feel that God delays and that it is unfair, even though you have free will. Hear the word of the Lord, For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Your thoughts in this trial run toward haste and self fulfillment, but God's thoughts toward you are precious and constant, kind and wise and gracious. He has not forgotten you in your singleness. The delay which feels like unkindness may be His wisdom keeping you from a snare, or preparing you and preparing a true helpmeet, or teaching you to wait upon Him in hope. There is a waiting God who waits to be gracious, and there is a waiting people who wait upon Him not in despair nor in murmuring, but in joyous and assured hope. To wait is not to be forsaken. When you awake to His thoughts, you will find you are still with Him.
You say you do not want this singleness at all and would marry even from another religion to be free of it. Here also you must be warned in love. Marriage is not a remedy for impatience, nor is it to be entered lightly to satisfy desire. The desire itself, if it is to be holy, must be a desire to fear God's name and to walk in His way. True religion makes the desire holy before it grants the thing desired. To be unequally yoked with an unbeliever is forbidden by the Lord. He who calls you to purity calls you to marry only in the Lord, one man and one woman in a lifelong covenant, and to keep the bed undefiled. To seek a spouse outside the faith because the wait is hard is to exchange a present trial for a lifelong sorrow, and to turn a groveling desire into a snare for your soul. God will not bless what He has forbidden, and you must not ask Him to do so.
You confess also that it is very difficult to control yourself. This is the vineyard you are called to keep. They made me keeper of other vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept, says the spouse. You cannot keep it by your own strength. You must set Caution and Self examination at the helm, cry to God, Search me and know my heart, and flee from every provision for the flesh. Idleness, unguarded thoughts, unholy conversation and secret indulgence will set the soul on fire. Give yourself to prayer, to the Word, to honest labour, to the fellowship of sober Christian friends, and to open dealing with a faithful pastor who can watch over you. If lust is indulged, it will master you, but if you bring your body into subjection by the power of the Holy Spirit, God will give you grace for purity even in waiting.
Is it not better to pray thus, Lord, give me grace to honour my parents, to keep myself pure, to trust Your higher thoughts, and to desire marriage only as You will give it in Your time and in Your way. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desire of your heart, but first delight in Him. If marriage is for your good, He will not withhold it. If He keeps you waiting, He will make the waiting itself a means of grace.
Cast your present distress upon the Lord. Tell Him of the pressure upon your body and seek also wise and timely help from those near you, a pastor, a godly elder, and where the body suffers, a physician, for the Lord often works through such means. Do not sit alone with dark thoughts. Open your heart to one who can pray with you and counsel you day by day.
May the Lord forgive what is amiss in your letter, cleanse you by the blood of Christ, and fill you with patient hope. May He soften your heart toward your parents and guide their hearts in wisdom and love toward you. May He keep you from all evil, and teach you to wait till the glory shall begin.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
