What suffering you must have gone through in your life to make you feel this way!!! I am so sorry you have gone through so much pain. And you are absolutely right -- The Evil one caused it, and God allowed it. This is called "God's permitting will." Anyway, I would like to point out that if you truly believed that God was a lie, you would not be raging at him right now. You know he is real. You are just very, very angry with him. So simply pray to him to take away your anger. Suffering is a mystery. You said you were a Bible teacher, then you must know about original sin, how badly Adam and Eve wrecked everything. We as the human race defied God, did the forbidden. We were gifted with free will. God never would ever take that gift away. And you know what? I don't even believe that in the Garden of Eden, God was the one who put Adam and Eve through the test. The Evil one did, but God made us all pay the consequences after they flunked. The good news, though, is Christ has redeemed us from our sins, saved us. The not-too-wonderful news is that we still have to pay the consequences of original sin while on this earth. It is only in heaven that we enjoy eternal bliss. This being said, I will again tell you that suffering is a mystery. We in the modern world want all cut-and-dried answers to why we must suffer. While God does give us a glimpse into His reasons -- Genesis, the book of Job, etc. -- he never comes out and explains everything. Why? Because we simply would not understand a word he was saying. We are too limited. I believe in Heaven, we shall understand more, but even then, I think God is the only one who will all of the big picture on this. I am going to pray very hard for you now, my friend. I am going to pray that God will grant you the gift of spiritual consolation and also that He will grant you "that peace which passes beyond all understanding." Go pray. (Call home. Your Father is waiting.) God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace." I pray for you in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Amen and amen.